Excuses for a Sucky Weigh-In
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Blinded by fridge light; accidentally ate a cheesecake
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Stepped on scale left foot first instead of right foot first
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Forgot pre-weigh-in prayer
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Thought I was going to Zumba class but it turned out to be keg party
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Conspiracy at the highest levels of government
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Had gum in my mouth
- Forgot to exhale when I stepped on scale; lungs were full of heavy, heavy oxygen
- Don’t understand it; must have had a hundred fat-free brownies this week!
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Went ahead and had all I could eat at all-you-can-eat buffet
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Had Oreo coupon that was about to expire
- Pissed off voodoo witch-lady down in New Orleans
- Something in the air
- Misread recipe; it read “teaspoon” of olive oil and I thought it said “tablefull”
- Bad luck because I ate a black cat
- Weighed in the nude, but feel I could have been nuder
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"lungs were full of heavy, heavy oxygen"...CRAP! THAT'S what I've been doing wrong! :o
ReplyDeleteHoly crap thats funny, next time I weigh-in ill keep this in mind!
ReplyDeleteWonderful. But you missed out a few:
ReplyDelete- Forgot to cut toenails;
- Cat was nearby, sure to have stepped on the scales behind me without my noticing;
- Hair's grown loads since I last weighed;
- Battery must be running low;
- Damn scales, need new ones;
- Gotta wait till I spend another penny...
Caroline
I think one can almost always be nuder.
ReplyDeleteDude, I think I've used most of these excuses.
ReplyDeleteMy fav:
ReplyDeleteWeighed in the nude, but feel I could have been nuder.
Ha!
Yes... I needed those for my list. LOL :)
ReplyDelete~Margene
Well, here in the frozen north I often gain weight due to all the lotion I have to put on my dry skin. And of course wet hair is heavier than dry hair, which clearly affects the scale reading. Also I might have had a glass of water last night and you know that saying about a pint's a pound - maybe I had a few pints. But seriously, thanks for this post - I'm going to remember the Voodoo witch-lady in New Orleans, I bet I too have honked her off.
ReplyDeleteomg those are awesome!!
ReplyDeleteI'm eyeing my black cat in a whole different light now. A bacon-wrapped light.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I do this!!! LOL!!! "Stepped on scale left foot first instead of right foot first." I have to step on with the right foot or I do it again! LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteMy scales are prejudice against fat people :(
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say, that I have it on good authority my hair alone can hold 3 pounds of water. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah! All of these, well most of them. Sea mist definitely causes problems and then the sun comes out and the scales can't be bothered getting things right when they're hot and cranky.
ReplyDelete*thanks and smiles for miles*
hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteYou know, to be honest, I always feel I could be nuder. lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm GUTTING myself at the expression "I could have been nuder"!!! HILARIOUS post!!!
ReplyDeletemay I add: LIFE GOT IN THE WEIGH!
ReplyDeleteMore Nuder-er!
ReplyDelete