Weight-Loss Projects From the Jack Sh*t Lab
- A light beer that tastes great, yet is less filling
- Pasta- and cheese-free mac-and-cheese
- An antidote to granola addiction
- Health s'mores
- Elliptican’t machine
- Scale that's just a little more understanding
- Robotic workout buddy
- Running shoes that actually do the running for you
- Sugar-free sugar
- Flesh-eating bacteria that goes away after it's eaten about fifty pounds or so
- Air pudding
- Personal trainer with a sense of humor
- Candy corn-on-the-cob
- Zumba in pill form
- Kettlebelt
- App that turns your iPhone into a scale when you stand on it
- Driver’s seat doohickey that gives you a painful wedgie when you try to order drive-thru at a fast food restaurant
- Cheese wine
- Blog widget that tells you when your latest post really sucks
If you need someone to collaborate with you on these projects, I am game. I am ultimately qualified as I have no scientific skills, average intelligence, low motivation, and the ability to procrastinate indefinitely. I think my skills translate to this project wonderfully!
ReplyDeleteThe Jack Sh*t Lab sounds like it may be a fun place to work!
ReplyDeleteGimmie a lite -
ReplyDeleteNo- a butt lite!
A lighter butt, that is!
I think I would buy about half of the things on that list.
ReplyDeleteConcerning Sugar-free sugar...have you ever tried Stevia? It's like Splenda, only it comes from a plant and they sell it at health stores. Tastes 10X more sugary then sugar, 100% natural, safe and zero calories!
ReplyDeleteKettlebelt.... ROTFL!
ReplyDeleteMy trainer has a sense of humor- I know because when we are lifting he tells me I can do incredible amounts of weights. Obviously, he is joking...
Mmmm...cheese wine...
ReplyDeleteI'd invest in the production of a few of these!!!
ReplyDelete