Friday, November 26, 2010

Weight-Loss Projects From the Jack Sh*t Lab

  • A light beer that tastes great, yet is less filling
  • Pasta- and cheese-free mac-and-cheese

  • An antidote to granola addiction

  • Health s'mores

  • Elliptican’t machine

  • Scale that's just a little more understanding

  • Robotic workout buddy

  • Running shoes that actually do the running for you

  • Sugar-free sugar

  • Flesh-eating bacteria that goes away after it's eaten about fifty pounds or so

  • Air pudding

  • Personal trainer with a sense of humor

  • Candy corn-on-the-cob

  • Zumba in pill form

  • Kettlebelt

  • App that turns your iPhone into a scale when you stand on it

  • Driver’s seat doohickey that gives you a painful wedgie when you try to order drive-thru at a fast food restaurant

  • Cheese wine

  • Blog widget that tells you when your latest post really sucks


  1. If you need someone to collaborate with you on these projects, I am game. I am ultimately qualified as I have no scientific skills, average intelligence, low motivation, and the ability to procrastinate indefinitely. I think my skills translate to this project wonderfully!

  2. The Jack Sh*t Lab sounds like it may be a fun place to work!

  3. Gimmie a lite -
    No- a butt lite!
    A lighter butt, that is!

  4. I think I would buy about half of the things on that list.

  5. Concerning Sugar-free sugar...have you ever tried Stevia? It's like Splenda, only it comes from a plant and they sell it at health stores. Tastes 10X more sugary then sugar, 100% natural, safe and zero calories!

  6. Kettlebelt.... ROTFL!
    My trainer has a sense of humor- I know because when we are lifting he tells me I can do incredible amounts of weights. Obviously, he is joking...

  7. I'd invest in the production of a few of these!!!



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