A Healthy Dose of Healthful Health Tips

• You can make ice cream healthier by eating something different instead.

• A registered dietician can assist you in designing a nutritional plan you’ll find months later and have a good laugh about. 

• A really easy way to eat healthier is to hire a personal shopper to purchase all your groceries and a personal chef to prepare all your meals.



• One way to make yourself drink more water is to set off a pack of firecrackers in your mouth.

• There’s one simple way to tell if your portion size is too big: it’s always too big. 

• Eating at home instead of going out will help in your weight loss efforts, mostly because of what a bad cook you are.

•  Remember this rhyme: “Cupcakes for dinner will never make you thinner.”

• You can make your own frozen fruit by putting fruit in the freezer, dumbass.

• Sex can burn over 10,000 calories per hour (please back me up on this "fact" if my wife Anita asks...)