Snape: Ugggh… you again, Mister Sh*t?
Jack: Yeah, I think there’s been some sort of mistake…
Snape: What do you… wait. What is that in your cauldron?
Jack: What’s a “cauldron”?
Snape: Is that… *sniff*… is that coffee?
Jack: “Cauldron” means “coffee cup”? You learn something new every day at Hogwart’s!
Snape: Why did you call me over here, Mister Sh*t?
Jack: I think I’m in the wrong class.
Snape: What?
Jack: I signed up for “Portions” not “Potions”.
Snape: Portions?
Jack: Yeah, I seem have a real problem with portions. I thought I was a pretty good guesstimator, but it turns out I was eating nine servings of granola in one sitting.
Snape: That’s appalling!
Jack: Tell me about it. Much more of that and you could change my name to "Neville Widebottom".
Snape: Go on...
Jack: And my “handful of nuts” was actually four servings.
Snape: How is that possible?
Jack: I’ve got big hands, okay? Anyway, research confirms that larger food servings not only provide more calories – duh – but also have two other effects: they encourage people to eat more and to underestimate just how much they’re eating.
Snape: Fascinating.
Jack: So I signed up for Portions thinking I could learn some tricks, y'know, like using portion control dishware, making my own single-serving packs, dishing out servings separately and especially controlling portions when eating out.
Snape: Well, I don’t think I’ve ever said this before but… 50 points for Gryffindor.
Jack: Ummmm… I’m a Hufflepuff.
Snape: Of course you are. Of course...
Actually, what I'd like is a POTION that could magically convince me to see PORTIONS in normal human size and not some world of the giants surrealistic version that's more suitable for elephants.
ReplyDeleteI've concentrated so much on switching to healthier foods that I often take this as license to eat enough for several large armies; sadly, I do not get as much exercise as several larger armies so I'm thinking I might need to redo some math.
Thanks for the reminder!
Love this!! Yes, I use portion control as part of my arsenal & for me, it is key!
ReplyDeleteThat was just awesome... and good mention on the portion distortion! I've finally trained myself to check anything I eat to verify the calories I'm logging match the portion I'm ingesting. It's really easy for me to go over on some stuff (*koff* ice cream *koff*) so I weigh it out now.
ReplyDeleteMy eyeballs are lying liars that lie; the scale doesn't.
Lol...Hufflepuff :) This is awesome! Our view of what a portion size should be and what it really is are so totally different. I have also been paying more attention to portions and if I am still hungry I eat a small portion of something else rather than a second portion of what I am currently eating. Portions are hard!
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