Wednesday, June 26, 2013

You’re Gonna Like The Way You Look. I Guarantee It!

Jack: Hello, Mr. Zimmer.

George: Call me George, Jack.

Jack: Ummmm, call me Mister Sh*t, George. This is a job interview after all.

George: Uh, then why are we in a car, Mister Sh*t?

Jack: Okay, don’t call me Mister Sh*t. That’s my dad. Go back to calling me “Jack”.

George: Why are we in a car for a job interview, Jack?

Jack: I’m on my way to the gym for my lunchtime workout, George. I’m a multi-tasker!

George: I see.

Jack: Why don’t you tell me why you got canned from The Men’s Wearhouse.

Well, over the last 40 years, I built The Men’s Wearhouse into a multi-billion dollar company with amazing employees and loyal customers who value the products and service. However, instead of fostering the kind of dialogue in the boardroom that has, in part, contributed to our success, the board inappropriately chose to silence my concerns by terminating me as an executive officer.

Jack: No, really. Did they catch you stealing suits?

George: What?

Jack: You’re pretty good on those TV commercials by the way. Well, I actually like your other commercials better. You know, the ones where you go, “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer blah blah blah.” Those are great!

George: You told me this interview was to be involved with a regional men’s clothing company.

Jack: Well, that may have been an overstatement…

George: So what’s this job you contacted me about?

Jack: You see, I thought you could walk around behind me while I work out and say “You’re gonna like the way you look, Jack. I guarantee it!”

George: Pull over.

Jack: Now you haven’t heard about all the benefits. Okay, there’s no ‘benefit’ benefits but…  hey! At least let me slow down if you’re gonna jump outta the car!

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