• Bacon replaced with strips of steamed rutabaga
• Can’t order cheese dip in a restaurant without proof of recent cholesterol check
• Eskimo pie can no longer be eaten unless you are actually an Eskimo.
• Beer now only sold in one-packs
• Eating fondue now death-penalty offense
• Police authorized to raid freezers at midnight to search for renegade Ben & Jerry’s cartons
• Maximum number of toppings for frozen yogurt established at 0
• Possession of more than 3 ounces of 1,000 Island dressing now a felony
• Movie theater popcorn reclassified as “weapon of ass destruction”
• Introduction of new DUI-DD offense (Driving Under Intention of going to Dunkin Donuts)
ok, you are getting to close for comfort on the frozen yogurt :P
ReplyDeleteUh, no. You may take my life, but you can never take my bacon!
ReplyDeleteYour posts always make me smile. I just hope Mayor Bloomberg doesn't read it and get any new ideas.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!! Posting this one at my desk!! Love it!
ReplyDeleteDede
Guess I can never visit New York *sigh* ... but at least I can have my BACON!!
ReplyDeleteRest in peace sodas.
ReplyDeleteI've got one thing to say Bloomberg. "TA HA HA HA! TA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Face it Bloomberg - YOU LOST! Your not taking our Big Gulp sodas away! Just like your not taking our legal firearms and high capacity magazines away! Can we get our designated cigarette smoking areas in the workplace, bars, clubs, restaurants, diners, theaters, movies, sporting events, beaches and parks back? As well as get rid of the cigarette taxes and bike lanes?
ReplyDeleteGet used to losing Bloomberg because it is going to happen a lot more often! With any luck the next mayor will undo all the damage you've done!
- James from www.nycbody.com