The other day I caught wind that the Corn Refiner's Association had petitioned the FDA to change the name of high-fructose corn syrup to "Corn Sugar."“Corn Sugar”? That sounds like something you’d find at the fair, along with fiddlesticks and funnel cakes.
Here’s the thing, Corn Refiner’s Association. You read my blog. You know I’m great at naming stuff. Were you just too proud to beg for my help?
Anyway, here’s what I’ve got so far…
- Sweet Magic Corn Powder
- UniCorn
- Corny Corn Corn Corn
- High Fructose Chemical Syrup
- Love Dust
- Elixer of Life
- Cornballs
- Even Higher Fructose Corn Syrup
- Corncaine
- Golden Corn Sparkle
- Health Stuff
- Cornquelia
- A-Maize-Ment
- Super High Fructose Corn Syrup
- CornaUtopia
- Friendship Sauce
- Hug Friendship Corn Syrup
- Cornshine
Corncaine is my favorite. LOL! Great post, Jack!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely get behind UniCorn.
ReplyDeleteAlthough corncaine was my first favorite, cornshine takes the proverbial cake!! That's great!
ReplyDeletehahahahaha thanks for the too early morning laugh!
ReplyDeleteXO M
Fructose Cornelius? Sounds like the "technical tern" haha
ReplyDeleteI like corncain the best
PS, you should watch the movie King Corn.
ReplyDeletehaha! :)
ReplyDeleteCorncaine. I vote for corncaine.
ReplyDeleteomg, you are killing me. hahahahha. I vote Golden Corn Sparkle!
ReplyDeleteHow about Food Group Number 9?
ReplyDeleteI love corncaine and A-maize-ment! Love the play on words. How about candy corn....oh wait that's a real thing!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite are corncaine and cornshine :) Not sure what cornballs are? lol
ReplyDeleteI vote for Corny Corn Corn Corn & Even Higher Fructose Corn Syrup!
ReplyDeleteCan't believe they didn't come to you first Jack. They obviously don't know Sh*t!
I think the Corny Corn Corn Corn has a nice ring to it. :)
ReplyDeleteLord love a duck! You're in fine form this morning!! Perfect for a Friday Morning, Jack.
ReplyDeleteHow about "Fatten Up The Cattle Juice"?
ReplyDeleteI hate HFCS....evil stuff, that... They can call it whatever they like, but I'm not injesting it and neither are my kids.
Love it! How about sweet corny cholesterol maker? Hmmm - doesn't roll off the tongue. I'll leave the naming to Jack the Master!
ReplyDeleteHey, keep your Friendship Sauce to yourself jack!
ReplyDeleteLol! So funny :p
ReplyDeleteFun! A-maize-ing! LOL.
ReplyDeleteCorncaine ... too funny LOL
ReplyDeleteI like Corncaine too. It made me giggle!
ReplyDeleteI hate to say but there are most likely people out there that will be fooled by this craziness.. very sad!
ReplyDeleteBUT THX FOR THE LAUGH!!!
Jack.. you are a genius!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm definitely gonna go with High Fructose Chemical Syrup or Corncaine!
ReplyDeletecorncaine, all the way baby! nothing like an 8 ball when the cravings hit. And Im guessing 1 twinkie would be an 8 ball, at least!
ReplyDelete