Do What I Say And Be Amazingly Healthy!

• An easy way to remember to drink water is to wear an Aqua-Man costume at all times.

• Take a multi-vitamin every day or one really, really big one once a month.

• Instead of taking the elevator at work, take the stairs; if you’re already taking stairs, offer co-worker a piggyback ride up stairs.

• Adopt a positive body image, no matter how ridiculous you look.

• Drink Oolong tea. I don’t know if it’s good for you or not, but I really like saying “Oolong.”

• Cranberry juice contains a substance that appears to keep bacteria from sticking to the walls of the urinary tract and has been shown to help prevent UTIs. Add it to vodka, which contains a substance that appears to make the world a more wonderful place to inhabit.

• Schedule an annual check-up at least once every 10 years.

• One way to get more fresh fruits and vegetables is to get stranded on a deserted island where fresh fruits and vegetables are plentifully available.

• Instead of spending a lot of time writing interesting and informative content for your blog, just fart out a stupid list and then go outside for a walk.

A Little Less Social Media

A little less social media, a little more action please.
All this time on Facebook’s gettin’ the better of me. 

A little mo’ runnin’ and a little less tweets,

Less Linkedin and a lot less eats.
Close your keyboard, get some exercise and get less chunky.



Jacky, fire up your ipod and listen to some music
Run like sick gazelle.
Got a beer gut and it’s time to lose it,
Come along with me and we’ll tame that scale.


A little less social media, a little more action please.

Pinning on Pinterest ain’t pinning no losses on me.

A little more diet and a little less fuss,

A little more fight and less Google Plus+.

Close your laptop, open up your gym bag and get less chunky.

Get less chunky, baby.



Come on baby, I’m tired of tweeting.

The time we got sure is fleeting.

Come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

Don’t procrastinate, let’s activate.

Hey, it’s getting late, gettin upset when I gain a pound

.

A little less social media, a little more action please.

All this sedentary lifestyle sure is fattenin’ me.

A little more on trail and a little more help
.
A little less email and a little less Yelp.

Close your browser, open up your life and baby, get less chunky. 

Get less chunky, baby.

Tips for Living a Longer Life

• Celebrate your birthday every month.

• My grandfather lived to be over 90 and he smoked, drank and ate red meat every day (of course, he spent last 30 years at hospital hooked up on life-support, but still…)

• If you’re doing something strenuous, and you see a blinding light and hear a choir of angels singing, immediately stop.

• Every day, practice giving yourself the Heimlich Maneuver.

• Recent studies show that smokers who give up cigarettes add years to their life; so if you're currently a non-smoker, you should start take up smoking and then stop.

• If your parents live to a very old age, it greatly increases your chances, so resist the urge to kill them when you’re trying to show them how to work a computer.

• Try not to marry a serial killer.

• According to a research report from the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration, seatbelts save approximately 13,000 lives in the United States each year, so replace your regular belt with a seatbelt.

• Protect your bones at including at least one calcium-rich food each day as well as praying to Osteoporosis, the god of skeletal health.

• Download a defibrillator app.

• Do not partake in especially risky endeavors, such as cliff-diving, texting while driving or telling me that today’s blog post really blows.

LB Showing on the Weigh-in When She Weighs

LB showing on the weigh-in when she weighs
LB showin’ on the weigh-in when she weighs
LB showin’ on the weigh-in
LB showin’ on the weigh-in when she weighs

Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs a’fore she weighed.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs a’fore she weighed.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs.
Shouldn’t have eaten six whole hot dogs afore she weighed.

Oh, we’ll all be here to console her when she weighs.
Oh, we’ll all be here to console her when she weighs.
Oh we’ll all be here to console her.
All be here to console her.
Oh, We’ll all be here to console her when she weighs.

Well, she’ll slip off her pajamas when she weighs.
Well, she’ll slip off her pajamas when she weighs.
Well, she’ll slip off her pajamas.
Slip off her pajamas.
It’ll piss off everyone at Weight Watchers when she weighs.

Now she’s gettin’ more excited when she weighs.
Now she’s gettin’ more excited when she weighs.
Exercisin’ and eatin’ right.
It’s a lifestyle more than diet.
Now she’s gettin’ more excited when she weighs.

Stuck on “Suck”

Weekly weigh-in: 255.3
Loss: +3.9
Total loss: -36.1

Emotion: March games bring weight gains

Like my momma always said: “It’s all fun and games until somebody gets fat.”

I need to make some big changes.

Watch this space…

Tips for Healthy Life Living

• When you order salad at a restaurant, have the dressing served on the side you can’t reach.

• Start your day off by eating a big breakfast. It helps you not be too hungry for lunch. Then eat a really big lunch so you won’t be hungry for dinner.

• Instead of whole milk, switch to 1 percent. If you drink one 8-oz glass a day, you’ll lose 5 lb in a year (note: if you forget to drink during the year, do not make the mistake of drinking 2,912 ounces of milk on December 31).

• Make exercise a nonnegotiable priority, unless the ransom gets up to over $1,000,000.

• A healthy afternoon snack is a hamper full of nuts. They provide… what? A handful? Are you kidding me?

• An easy way to improve your posture is to stand up straight.

• Brush your teeth in between bites of dinner.

• A registered dietician can assist you in designing a nutritional plan you’ll find months later and have a good laugh about.

• You know what’s good for emotional eating? Tortilla chips and Rotel dip! You know what’s good for not emotional eating? Me either.

I Am... And Always Will Be... Your Boogie Man

Baby, babe, let’s get fit together.

Honey, hon, me and you.
And eat the things, ah, eat the things.

That we’re supposed to.


Do a workout, sweat a little sweat,

Get down this week.

Get down this week.

Do a workout, sweat a little sweat,

Get down this week.

Get down this week.

Baby, babe, I'm just like you,

Same probs, same strifes.

But it’s time for us to get it together.

And change up our lives.


Do a workout, make a little sweat,

Get down this week.

Get down this week.

Another workout, sweat more sweat,

Get down this week.

Get down this week.



Do a workout, make a little sweat,

Get down this week.

Get down this week.

Do a workout, sweat a little sweat,

Get down this week. (Woo)

Get down this week. Baby.



Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week, baby.

Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week baby.

Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week baby.

Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week baby.

Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week baby.

Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week baby.

Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week baby.
Get down, get down, get down, get down,

Get down this week baby.
Come on down on that scale, baby.