Monday, May 30, 2011

How Do Thee Lose Weight?

(with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

How do thee lose weight?
Let me count the ways.
That Adkins diet could be the one
If you like hot dogs without the bun.
But if you think that’d drive you bonkers
Maybe you should try Weight Watchers.
They’ve started a new Points Plus program
That lets you eat stuff like roast lamb.
And what about that South Beach diet
(I have no info, but you could try it).
Counting calories is one more way to go
Just don’t let your servings overflow.
Thou can lose weight any number of ways,
From slow and steady to the latest craze.
The kind of diet just doesn’t matter,
The important thing’s to grow no fatter.
And don’t push the start to far away
How do thee lose weight?
Start today!


  1. ahhh this english lit major LOVES.

  2. Hold the bun and the "D"
    From me to thee!

  3. Cute, CUTE poem, but I'm insanely bothered by the picture of the calculator!

    I know you're not responsible for the creation of the calculator picture, but it bothers me that someone went to the effort to begin the sequence of "pi" (3.141592...) and then messed it up by excluding then number 9. That is shoddy work and they should be kicked out of the association of science and math.

    Two cents from a science major. ;) After all, you deserve nothing less than the best of the day after your b-day, and that calculator is a lie. A lie!!!

  4. I have to agree with Anonymous. Why should you be applauded for a good poem when that RIDICULOUS picture of the 1980's calculator is up.

    That calculator is really angering me. Then again, I am not that smart, and the only reason I used those kinds of calculators is to type the words HELLO and BOOBS while holding it upside down.

  5. SO true! And for those that MUST have a Monday's Monday! ;)

  6. Loves! Let's start today :) No day but today!

  7. just don't get any fatter!!! :)



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