The Wreck of Jack Sh*t at FitBloggin'

The legend began in the Mariott downtown,
The one that’s near Baltimore Harbor.
The place, it turns out, is without any doubt
The perfect spot for a healthy-life blogger.

When the bloggers unite, it’ll be quite a sight,
When the event called Fitbloggin’ gets started.
The folks, those who dare, will see things changing there.
They’ll be heading to waters uncharted.

Cuz Roni, the hostess, lost most of her focus,
Because pregnancy hormones were ragin’.
What made her go ruin, this event that she’s doin’,
This wonderful conference she’s stagin’?

She must’ve been hard pressed to come up with some guests,
When she agreed to let Jack Sh*t be in it.
Planning this summit, she’d probably re-thunk it.
If she’d studied on it for more than a minute.

As the days drew nearer, Roni looked in the mirror,
And realized the mistake she was makin’
Cuz Jack was the strangest guest ever invited
(With the possible exception of @nomorebacon).

Now the hour’s drawing close for all those bloggin’ pros.
The conference is practically on us .
Bag’s getting packed up and Jack’s getting jacked up.
It’ll be lots of fun, that I promise.

Come hear me babble at the Humor bloggging panel;
I’m sure that some laughs we’ll be sharin’.
With a woman named Charlie and a Fatass who’s gnarly,
There’s sure to be plenty of swearin’.

And it ought to be fun at that big 5K run,
When I put on my shoes and go joggin’.
But leave me alone if I’m typin’ on my phone
Cuz I don’t wanna get behind on my bloggin’.

Does anyone know how this train-wreck will go,
When the party rolls into the nighttime?
Will attendees complain, that Jack Sh*t’s such a pain?
Roni, please can he be banned for a lifetime?

The legend’ll live on from Baltimore on down,
To the that fitchat event where you log in.
This conference, they say, went straight to Hell the day
That Jack Sh*t joined the folks at Fitbloggin’.