• Remove temptations such as every lick of food in your house.
• Replace sweets and sugar with fruit, and then replace the fruit with imaginary fruit.
• Improve your diet overall, and while you’re at it, why don't you go ahead and get a better job and move into a nicer house?
• If you have a sweet tooth, see your dentist about having it removed.
• Remember this old saying: “Eat better foods, and better foods will eat you.” Waitaminute… that’s stupid. And now you've probably have already remembered it!
• Standing in front of a mirror and reciting positive affirmations is a good way of cracking yourself up and – at least for a moment – forgeting about your overwhelming hunger pangs.
• Drink a big glass of water, then a bigger glass of water and then an even bigger glass of water.
• Find your motivation. What that means is pretend you’re an actor or actress playing yourself in a movie and the script calls for you not to have a craving. Now ready, and… ACTION!
• Recognize “trigger” foods and shoot anyone who brings them into your home with a “gun”.
• Reward yourself every time you say “no” to your cravings by giving yourself $1,000.
• Keeping busy can help you overcome temptation – so why don't you come over and clean up my house?
• Spray a can of Raid® Ant & Roach Killer all over that batch of delicious cupcakes.
• A trained hypnotist can assist you into making positive subconscious thoughts and help subdue cravings; but keep in mind that he can also make you hop on one foot and cluck like a chicken.
• Print out this list, wad it up and eat it.
I've tried alot of these -
ReplyDeletebut what about combining them and doing them all at once?
Clucking like a chicken with a can of Raid!
LOL...Love it! My favorite, the trigger food one!
ReplyDeleteRoach spray on cupcakes! That works... recently, I've employed vinegar and pepper into the peanut butter. Can't stay out of the peanut butter!
ReplyDeleteNow this could stop a craving "Reward yourself every time you say “no” to your cravings by giving yourself $1,000."
ReplyDeleteso yea you should probably send me at least $50,000 just to start off so that I can take care of those pesky cravings ...dont worry you can send more later
"Replace sweets and sugar with fruit, and then replace the fruit with imaginary fruit."
ReplyDeleteMade my morning! haha thanks!
LOL! Raid on the cupcakes!! I usually just toss them in the compost when the Teens aren't looking...and then blame it on Dad or the dog.
ReplyDeleteLove the trigger foods solution! Thx for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh! Poison cupcakes. Guess I should put a Mr Yuck sticker on them so the kids don't eat them.
ReplyDeleteFourth down had me cracking up! This totally reminds me of a video series I watch, or at least the latest one: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1945787
ReplyDeleteLast night I walked by cakes at the grocery store 5 times. But I resisted temptation. So, when is my grand showing up?
ReplyDeleteI have done every single on of these. I keep raid in my purse and spray it on everything I should not eat. Or at least I did before the lawsuit...I didn't that homeless guy would eat my trash!! sheesh.
ReplyDeleteI'll be back, I suddenly got a craving for JACK SH*T!!!!!!!!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteLove this post, I was laughing my fool head off!
Great blog by the way! I'm now a new follower!
Roxie-Girl
This made me laugh, and I need it. I ate four large sticks of celery last night I was so hungry. I hate celery.
ReplyDeleteSo for... Recognize “trigger” foods and shoot anyone who brings them into your home with a “gun”.
ReplyDeleteIf not a gun, what would you shoot them with? AH, a tazer, make them beg, "Don't Taze Me Bro!" and then taze them anyhow.
Too funny. I'll have to try the Raid on the cupcakes. Dunno whether I should tell my wife - before or after she eats them :) Cheers, Rick
ReplyDeleteI totally ate a yak for lunch. Mission accomplished.
ReplyDeleteSpray a can of Raid® Ant & Roach Killer all over that batch of delicious cupcakes--what a visual, well, and smel-ual--I hate the smell of pesticides, and love cupcakes--I think you have found an effective way of canceling them out!
ReplyDeleteI love it! Your posts always make me smile :)
ReplyDeleteHaha! Great post, I laughed heartily. I always find those type of posts silly too.
ReplyDelete