Monday, January 10, 2011

Bodfather: The Brick Wall

Subject #1 in the "Bodfather" 

Witness Reduction Program: Kerensa

Second Check-in

Height: 5'7"

Starting weight:  254.8
Current weight: 248.6

Loss this month: .6 lbs.
Total Loss: 6.2 lbs

If you’re a JSGF newcomer, I’d sometimes referred to (by myself) as The Bodfather. A few months ago, I chose a quintet of folks that were interested in me chronicling their weight-loss adventures and have worked with them from afar to try to spark some makeover magic.

Kerensa was the first participant, a lovely bride-to-be who got off to a blistering start but had a tough go of it during the holidays.

Hey Jack,

So. I think I really have hit that brick wall. I feel like I don't know how to get back on track with this thing again, I actually caught myself wondering why I was doing this in the first place. In the back of my mind, I don't want to disappoint anyone, myself included.

I feel like having self-confidence is a double edged sword. It means that I am happy with myself, and so there are two different ways I can take that. I am not really sure what else to say, except that I am needing some help. Help to remember why I wanted to lose weight in the first place. Help to focus. Help to get charged back up.

I can see in the back of my mind this issue playing over and over again. It is like some sick re-run where I am happy with myself, so I lose my focus and let myself off plan. Things go okay for a while, because I know how to eat right, and after months of eating less, it takes a while for me to be eating as much as I did before I went back on plan. So I might not gain weight for a bit, but old habits tend to die hard. In the end of the terrible sitcom, I end up just as fat as before, and then some.

In some ways, I feel a bit distanced from the rest of the Bodfather group. I feel like I don't have the stamina that Billie does, or the reasons that Tom does. I have been doing this since August, and don't feel like I can tell the change. The scale says there is a 35 pound difference from where I started, but I don't necessarily feel it, or see it for that matter.

I feel like I am being a Debbie Downer. But I know when I need to ask for help, and this is that time.


Hey Kerensa,

You've just gone through the choppy waters of the holidays, and it's 
pretty natural to be second-guessing yourself.

Let me tell you a story (and if I were at home instead of a hotel room 
in St Louis, I'd sent along a photo to a accompany it):  when I was
 getting married 25 years ago, my wife-to-be asked me to lose weight.

Really, it's been the only time she's ever made that request in all
 our years together. She was planning this beautiful wedding and asked 
me to try... Just try... to lose a little weight for the big day.

To this day, I don't know why I couldn't do it then, when it obviously 
meant so much to the person who meant more to me than anyone in the
 world. I didn't lose the weight, Kerensa. Actually, I gained some.

The wedding went on, but to this day, I cringe when I look at the
 pictures. I can't watch the video. I wish I could go back and do it

I guess that's why your "Bodfather" email stood out to me, K. I think 
I saw an opportunity to help someone with something I wasn't strong 
enough to do at the time. I want you to look back at those wedding 
photos and see the person you really want to see in them.

This isn't an easy undertaking you've taken on, but I believe you've
 got what it takes to make it happen. I can't force you to do what I
 want you to, but I'm here to tell you that all the effort and 
sacrifice will be worth it in the end.

 I could go on and on and on, but you know how it is with me and thumb-typing...

Take care,

Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. OH, I so agree with Jack about the wedding photos...mine aren't 'too bad'...who really wants to say that about their wedding photos?! Hang in there!

  2. Hey Jack! Welcome to St. Louis! Make sure you take in the Arch while you're here! :)

    As for Karensa - I can completely understand where she's coming from. Just as my weight yo-yos, so does my motivation. My remedy is smaller goals. Then, I can't disappoint. Maybe it's a monthly goal or even a weekly goal. Even if it's not weight related, but fitness related. Just pick something, accomplish it and then pick something else. Distract yourself from the daunting task of losing weight and everything that means and takes, and just do something in the general area of health/fitness. Find motivation wherever you can until it finds you again!!! Good luck!

  3. Karensa -

    I did the SAME exact thing through the holidays. I gained a bunch back of the 10 pounds I had lost and started feeling like I couldn't do this. Like this time was going to be like all the others.

    But it's NOT. I dragged myself out of bed last Monday morning to be at the gym by 5:30am. I worked out the number of times I planned to. I tracked what I ate, and I ate less. And guess what? I lost 3.8 pounds this week. You can do it too!

    Good luck to you!

    Goodbye, Fat Girl!

  4. What a terrific reply Jack. Kerensa I know you can do this it's just about putting your mind to it and just doing it. I think the holidays got us all off track a bit but now it's the new year and we can refocus. Here's to a great January for you.

  5. Dear, Sweet Kerensa,

    Ask me if I went to the gym this morning? My answer would be no. I have lots of good reasons why, but still, I made the conscious (and wrong) decision not to go. I am also at a point where I am struggling, having so far to go. Everybody hits a wall at some point! (except perhaps the Anti-jared. He seems unstoppable!) At any rate, it's never a good idea to compare yourself to anyone but yourself. =) Each MOMENT is new. Not even each day. So just refocus, REMEMBER why you're doing this, even if you have to post it on your mirror! You can and you will do this! =)

    Much love, Bodsister!!

  6. Kerensa, I share the same number with you 248. How awesome is 248?! We're no longer 250! That's so freaking rock awesome! You can do this!

  7. Ooo Jack this is good shit! I am going to scare you and dare me. I will post my pic sometime after I put my bra on and take a shower tomorrow on your FB page. I only have head shots at the right angle on my FB page because the bod is more of a blob than a bod or best a temporary aBODe for the fat?

  8. Wow. I just discovered this blog. HIlarious. I approve.

  9. Hang in there Kerensa!!! With Jack's help and motivation and with your resolve to make the changes you're going to be a big success. I look forward to following your victories!!!

  10. And here I thought you typed with your knuckles.

  11. My wedding did start me in the right direction, but I still look at the photos and wonder "what if it had all clicked sooner?" Unfortunately, no one can find our motivation or make us commit but us. I hope you find your reason and your drive!!

  12. Kerensa, hang in there, the wall sucks but you can get around it!!!



Related Posts with Thumbnails