Monday, January 24, 2011

Big Jack

 I'm sorry, Jimmy Dean

Ev’ry day was the same, he’d eat himself a ton.
He stood six foot four and weighed two ninety-one.

Kinda broad in the belly, always eating to excess.

And everybody knew he was a big fat mess…Big Jack.

Big Jack, Big Jack… Big Fat Jack.

Nobody seemed to know why Jack was so obese.
They just stood back and watched his waistline increase.

He’d eat anything if you’d care to fry it.

If you had any sense, you never said “diet” to Big Jack. 

I met him at the Fair up near Portland, Maine.
A smile on a face smudged with blueberry stain.
Walking around with a blue ribbon on his chest;
He didn’t even know it was a pie-eating contest – Big Jack
Big Jack, Big Jack… Big Fat Jack.

Then came that day a couple years back,
He finally decided to get his life on track.
Realized that fat just wasn’t really his fate.
Decided he was “over” being “overweight”.

So he started to blog and got his sh*t straight.
Started exercising and watching what he ate.
He vowed to keep tryin’ and always do his best,

And every week there seemed to be a little less of Big Jack.

Big Jack, Big Jack… Big Fat Jack

He began eating things like parsnips and kale,
And soon didn’t dread stepping onto the scale.
It seemed as though he finally solved the riddle
Of ridding the muddle attached round his middle… Big Jack.
Big Jack, Big Jack... Big Bad Jack.

He finally reached his goal, but a goal’s not the end,
Cuz this journey doesn’t a finish line, my friend.
Some weeks he yells out “Damn, I gained another pound!”
So he keeps keeping on, so you wanna stick around… for Big Jack.

That’s why he keeps blogging, why he’s still here,
Instead of eating Cheetos and swilling lotsa beer.
He’s working really hard, he’s set his body free.
And never again does he ever wanna be… Big Jack.
Big Jack, Big Jack... Big Fat Jack.

If you think that he’s ever gonna call in and quit,
Well, I tell ya, my friend, you don’t know Jack Sh*t.
So let him be your health and weight-loss guide.
I can promise you it’s gonna be a helluva ride.
Fit Jack.Fit Jack, Fit Jack... Fit Jack Sh*t.

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  1. Memories of long drives with my father just came back to me; yes he had this on 8-track!

  2. Your blog is a great reminder that hitting goal doesn't mean being finished. Good choices have to be made for a lifetime.

  3. Yep, no finish line. That one realization changed everything for me.

  4. Journey of a lifetime but worth it isn't it ;-)

  5. If you're not going to eat any more of those blueberry pies, send them to me! On a serious note, you are dead on about it being a process, not a goal!

  6. He won the blueberry pie eating contest when he didnt even KNOW it was a competition? haha!! Im glad you're never gonna call it quits, me either!

  7. Yep!!! A process- never done!

    Thanks Jack! BTW- do you write poetry in your sleep? I mean, I could never come up with stuff like this... even with a song to go by. Good stuff- had not heard that song in a LONG time.

  8. You really eat parsnips and kale? Cheers, Rick

  9. Love this song, brings back memories...

  10. Very good..ranks up there with Dr Seuss and hits the nail on the head too!

  11. I can almost hear my old 45 playing "Big, Bad John" right now. Your version is better.

  12. What an awesome poem!!! I love it! Such reflection and so true, I almost saw myself in some of it. Keep going Jack, we are in it with you!



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