Monday, January 31, 2011

No Horsing Around

I want to tell you a little story about a gal named Zenyatta.

She quit working last year and packed on 100 lbs before you could say “Giddyup.”

Yes, Zenyatta is a retired American champion Thoroughbred racehorse, winner of 19 consecutive races in a 20-race career which culminated with being named the 2010 Eclipse Award for Horse of the Year.

But it occurs to me that I haven’t done enough on my blog to address the needs of overweight horses. If you stopped by here today for weight-loss guidance or inspiration, then you probably should just move along. This post is specifically for horses (or for people who have a pet horse in their house).

Okay, Zenyatta… here’s my best weight-loss-for-horses' advice…

Just Say “Neigh” to Extra Hay.
We’re a lot alike, Zenyatta… superior athletes bred from championship stock and used to working only a couple hours a day. But here’s the thing, Z… if you’re not gonna run like a racehorse, you’ve got to stop eating like one. At the end of the day, it’s all about calories in versus calories out. If you take in more than you exert, chances are those extra pounds you see on scale won’t be because you’re wearing iron horseshoes.

It’s Time to Hoof It. We all know it’s a lot easier to get in a good workout if somebody’s sitting on your back and hitting you over and over with a whip, but you’ve got to realize that exercise is it’s own reward. Don’t say you can’t canter, Zenny; there’s a big pasture out there, and there’s no reason you can’t get out there and gallop to your heart’s content. Stick with it and it won’t be long before you’re hot to trot again.

This is a Marathon, Not a 6½ Furlong Race. You made the mistake many of us make, Zenyatta:  you thought the finish line was the finish. The truth of the matter is that good health is a lifelong endeavor. Stay on track and I’m sure the studs will stand up and take notice.

I don’t mean to nag you, Zenyatta, but I’m sure that with some good food choices and a commitment to incorporating more activity into your daily routine, we can get you back down to your 1,200-pound racing weight.

Z, it’s time for you to get back in the saddle.

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  1. "Just Say “Neigh” to Extra Hay."

    Best line ever. I think you're an inspiration to fat horsies everywhere!

  2. Thanks Jack! You've put a smile on my face on a very difficult day...

  3. Well, I do have a horse, but not in the house. He is kinda a fatty lately though. I'll pass this along to him.

  4. How funny!!! Although, Zenyatta is getting ready to become some stud's Baby Mama this spring. So perhaps you will have to help her shed those post-baby pounds soon : )

  5. Zenyatta also has a great blog. It is just a b*tch to get those hoofs on the keyboard.

  6. Oh that's great... I shouldn't post a pic of my Fat Boy!

  7. Don't say you canter... oh good lord! lol

  8. Hilarious and inspiring at the same time. Have a great week Jack.

  9. And lets be realy, even if you run like a horse, you gotta eat like a colt or you'll just be taking in everything you just put out.

  10. A daily trot and she'll be her old trim self again :) Hilarious, Jack. Am going to get my trots in this week too!



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