Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Tricks to Help You Eat Less

  • Eat off a smaller plate, using even smaller utensils, at a minuscule table inside a tiny house.
  • Treat yourself to a Hershey's kiss every time you eat 100 celery stalks.
  • Always take the first spoonful of yogurt and fling it at your child - (1) over time the calories will really add up and (2) the kid probably did something to deserve it.
  • Every time you have a craving for something sweet, slam your finger in the car door.
  • When you go out to eat, ask your waitress to bring half of your entree out as an appetizer, serve half as your main course and box up the remaining half for you to have as lunch tomorrow.
  • You don't have to finish off that bottle of wine tonight; you can stick it in the fridge and it'll keep at least one more day.
  • There's a simple way to tell if your serving size is too large:  it's ALWAYS too large.
  • Drink a big glass of water before your meal and then a big glass of water instead of your meal.
  • Ask your waiter: "What's your least popular dish?"
  • When you're in the drive-thru at a fast-food joint, ask yourself “What the hell am I doing in the drive-thru at a fast-food joint?”
  • Yes, it's a sin to waste food but I believe “gluttony” is on the big board as well.
  • Chew each bite 20 times (or at least 2).
  • There's one guaranteed way to make you eat less:  let me cook for you.

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  1. Imagining a yoghurt covered kid!!

  2. Brilliant! Simply brilliant! :D

  3. Jack you never cease to amaze me! Thanks for the morning chuckle! I'm off to slam my finger in a car door ;-)

  4. Argh, that explains my problem, I've been treating myself to a Hershey Bar every time I eat 1 celery stalk; Doh!

  5. Hmmm, I will soon run out of fingers though, then what? Toes?

  6. I like my yogurt too much to fling any, but I might try that with nuts. My favorite is the fast-food advice~ really what are we doing there?

  7. Not finish off the wine bottle. NEVER :D

  8. Oh, no, you got me! I have fallen back into the fast food drive through thing, and yes, I will ask myself that question - and hopefully can exit before I order; or really screw up the line my exiting after I order and before I get the food! I have a McD's at the end of my street, where I pass every day. The meal before the meal, it only costs $3.00. And my health.

  9. Hahaha I love these posts!

    "There's a simple way to tell if your serving size is too large: it's ALWAYS too large."

    This so sooo true, its not even funny D=

  10. "There's a simple way to tell if I need to exercise more. I ALWAYS need to exercise more."

    Le Sigh.

    And? Today's my big 4.0. Holy schnikes of all things round and aging.

  11. You mean stuffing food into my mouth like a wood chipper is a bad thing?

  12. this is great! if you're laughing you can't stuff your face with cookies either!

  13. I didn't read this til after I ate dinner. At least my dinner was composed of disgusting veggies!

    "Tomorrow is another day!"

    Duhn dhun dhun dhuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn. Dhun Dhuuunnn Dhunn Dhunnnnnnn. Dhunnn Dhunnnnn Dhun Dhun Dhun Dhunnnnnnnn Dhunnnn Dhunnnn Dhun Dhunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!

    ^Closing song to Gone with the Wind^

  14. Terrible cook, hunh? Come right over; I need a new tactic.

  15. I love, love these - and the next time I am at a restaurant I certainly will ask the waiter what the least favorite dish is! LOL
    Too funny. Thanks for the grin.

  16. These crack me up! Thanks Jack, you always brighten my day!

  17. great help for the people who are over weight just because of their diet habits



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