Friday, February 11, 2011

Healthy Gifts for Your Valentine

• Heart-shaped box of mixed prunes

• 5K trail of rose petals

• A romantic salad for two

• New workout lingerie

• Tantric torso twists

• Game of “Yank My Kettlebells”

• A bottle of diet wine

• Love letter (with fitness tips)

• Gift certificate for session of Nude Zumba

• Threesome with you, significant other and personal trainer

• Diamond-studded sweatband

• Copy of Kama Sit-Upra

• Chocolate-covered vitamins

• No-dinner and dancing

• Zero-calorie edible underwear

• Rice cakes with romantic messages written on them

• Sugar-free Jell-O shots

• PS90XXX workout video

• Crotchless yoga pants
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25 comments:

  1. JuliaFebruary 11, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    BESt POST EVER!

    Thank you jack, you made my day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anne HFebruary 11, 2011 at 6:08 AM

    Just follow the rose petals!

    ReplyDelete
  3. LaurieFebruary 11, 2011 at 6:28 AM

    You had me at heart shaped box of prunes, but it just got better w/ zero calorie edible underwear. Happy V Day, you pig!

    ReplyDelete
  4. PJ GeekFebruary 11, 2011 at 6:37 AM

    first out loud laugh of the day..thanks..keep em coming..it was the rice cakes with messages that cinched it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ShannonFebruary 11, 2011 at 6:42 AM

    zero calorie edible underwear!! lol love it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. ShanFebruary 11, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    I LOVE the "Yank my kettle balls" hehe

    ReplyDelete
  7. CandiceFebruary 11, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    "Yank my kettle bAlls."

    Best game ever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kerri OFebruary 11, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    Oh my. Can't type...laughing...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Miss Obesity RehabFebruary 11, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    where do you buy diet wine?

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    Nude Zumba?!? Oh Lordy, I'm just howling here, laughing so hard that folks are walking by my office with concerned expressions on their faces...

    ReplyDelete
  11. PatrickFebruary 11, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    huh, Sugar-free Jell-O shots...
    Not funny Jack, someone could get sick or hurt... wait you said Sugar-free, nevermind.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    Crotchless yoga pants...now that would be a gift for all.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AliceFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    I wonder if they make heart-shaped rice cakes with romantic sayings?

    ReplyDelete
  14. gracies tough journeyFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    "Game of “Yank My Kettlebells” LOL

    ReplyDelete
  15. Chunky MonkeyFebruary 11, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Hysterical! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Incredible Shrinking WomanFebruary 11, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    Jack, you made me spit coke zero all over the computer, darn you! I was already laughing about the 5k trail of rose petals, but then the kettleballs...
    The threesome...
    P90XXX...
    My abs hurt SOOOOOOO bad from laughing!

    ReplyDelete
  17. EllieFebruary 11, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    Gosh how i love your posts. They always make me smile!

    ReplyDelete
  18. SylFebruary 11, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    Happy Love day jack!

    ReplyDelete
  19. arielcircleofnineFebruary 11, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    The Nude Zumba got me too....oh. my. aching. corneas!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. KirstenFebruary 11, 2011 at 5:17 PM

    Best valentine's day gift this year? The offer to do a review for a $275 stripper pole that I get for *free*!

    I told them, "FYI, I"m fat and have the upper body strength of a cabbage patch kid."

    They don't care. Woo hoo. Sounds like a scary video post to me!!

    BWAH! HA! HA!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ginger FarnsworthFebruary 11, 2011 at 8:17 PM

    oh my heck!!!! laughing so hard I about wet myself.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:30 PM

    Heart shaped box of mixed prunes...I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. RozFebruary 12, 2011 at 12:02 AM

    HILARIOUS as always. Happy Valentine's weekend to you and Anita.

    ReplyDelete
  24. bbubblybFebruary 12, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    I sure could have used that box of prunes a few weeks ago lol.

    ReplyDelete
  25. KatyFebruary 14, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    I'll take the crotchless yoga pants and wear the zero calorie ediable undies underneath them.

    ReplyDelete

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