Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Cooking with Jack: Quesadill-icious!

Welcome to "Cooking with Jack," the cooking show with more flavor and less video. Today's special dish is "Spicy Corn Quesadillas". It should be noted that my recipe is remarkably similar to the one in Moosewood Cooks at Home with a few changes. Actually, all the measurements are doubled in my version, so it's radically different, if you ask me.

First, you're gonna want to take a couple of onions and cut them up. Since cutting up onions can make you cry, use my handy invention, The Extendablizing Knife.

It's pretty technical, but if you're interested, I can sell you blueprints for how you can make your own.

Now grab that bottle of vegetable oil from your bedside table.

Add a few galoomps of oil (a "galoomp" is roughly a tablespoon... measuring stuff is overrated).

And some garlic. A few cloves or, if you're as lazy as I am, a few squirts of squeezy garlic.

Next grate up a couple of carrots. I think carrots taste better if you use a really pretty grater, don't you?

*Insert your own carrot/lovely grater lady joke here.*

Now... take one of what I refer to as "El Diablo".

Now, saute it all up over medium heat until the onions are translucentated.

Add two pounds of frozen corn. (Uninteresting fact about corn: an ear of corn averages 800 kernels in 16 rows).

Add two pounds of coriander (actually, 2 tbs... I was just seeing if you were paying attention).

Four heapin' tbs of ground cumin. It was a superstition during the Middle Ages that cumin kept chickens and lovers from wandering.

And a dash of cayenne heat.

 You're supposed to add some fresh cilantro, but this is optional. I've hated cilantro my whole life, but Anita has always used it liberally in her cooking, until finally she realized 15 or 20 years later than I hate it. Only all that time of actually eating it has made me un-hate it somewhat. So it's your call...

Salt and pepper to taste (I'm sick of telling you how much of everything to put everywhere...)

 Now add it all together and cook for five minutes or so.

 Add two to three cups of cheese (preferably one with "Jack" in the name).

 Remove from heat and put a top on the pot. It should look something like this...

 Now I get to use the sweet-ass olive oil mister I got from Santa.

You just pump, pump, pump and...

...and then it shoots out olive oil mist? Wait... that's it? That's all it does?

Now take a big tortilla...

And slap some of the corn crap inside.

Fold it over and place it in a lightly-misted skillet.

Now cook it on medium heat until bottom starts to brown, then flip it over and cook until... looks cooked. That's it! You did it! Well, technically I did it, but I couldn't have done it without you. Actually, I could, would and have done it without you, but now you can make it yourself!
Great with guacamole, sour cream and salsa.

Next on "Cooking with Jack": Jack fries up everything in the house!

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  1. I cook with Jack all the time!
    Pepper Jack.
    Love the Spicy Dish form the Spicy Crib!

  2. You always crack me up!

    "Slap some of the corn crap in there"


  3. Only a man confident in his own skin & flannel shirt could use a grater like that and admit it. You sir are that man.

  4. Love it "Corn crap" - I'll have to remember that @ my next cooking lesson w/ the kids :)

  5. Hey nice recipe (that I'll probably use). But really, what I wanted to tell you was.....I just kind of fell in love.

    With your red refrigerator. It's fantastic and I want one too.

    Goodbye, Fat Girl!

  6. Wish I knew in real are such a fun person to be with. BTW, hope Anita is doing better now.


  7. most excellent. Off to get me a 'pretty' grater, since it's vital to the completion of this recipe!

  8. That actually sounds pretty good. Thanks for sharing.

  9. HOLY WOW and Yummy! LOVE IT!

  10. That corn crap sounds delicious, especially with *several galoomps* of sour cream and guac!! I love the lovely lady grater (and that she loves her carrots hehehe)

  11. Yummy! Galoomps - great word. Love the grater too!

  12. And he cooks, still, my beating heart.

  13. Is that a carrot or are you just happy to see me?
    I want an oil mister. Can you do a giveaway so I can not win then whine to my husband till I get one? That's how things work in our house. Pretty soon I'm gonna lose a cruise giveway...

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  15. Great post Jack, although I have to say that knife scares me ;-).
    LOVE your grater!

  16. Love it! Ive got a spray/mister/oil shooter too (self purchased xmas present). Where the hell did you get that grater? Haha

  17. A good laugh and a good recipe. 2 for 1 day on jacksh*t.

  18. At first I thought your Extendablizing Knife was a pole saw! Which I guess would also work, and is more readily available (at least to me)
    This is my first time to your site, which makes me a JackSh*t virgin. If I had a job I would quit it so I could spend all day reading your whole entire blog

  19. Yep... I keep my vegetable oil by the bed as well- COOL!!


  20. Hilarious. but why do you keep vegetable oil on your night stand? Wait, I don't want to know.

  21. Squeeze garlic?!?! I need some of that...

  22. I like corn on the cob...but corn that if floating around without it's roots gives me the willies. I have no idea why.

  23. Who cares what you got cookin' Jack. You have a RED refrigerator. Wow.

  24. **** LOVED this post!!! ****

    I haven't laughed so much since your last cooking lesson with the live chicken in your kitchen!! Corn Crap Recipe looks GREAT and I'm going to try it!!!

    When you get tired of cutting onions with your invention, you can also use it as a jousting device!!

  25. Cooking with Jack looks like so much fun! If you're ever in England, you must come cook for me!

  26. LOL can't wait for Jack fries up everything in the house.

  27. OMG, that is HILARIOUS!!! The extendo knife is brilliant. Your wife and kids must spend their lives in peels of laughter!!!! Enjoy your day, thanks for cracking me up!!!!

  28. You are toooooo much! Too many steps for me so I would have to modify to my simple way of cooking! I saw the Costco size stuff in there though! :-)

  29. Mmmm corn crap :)



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