• Remove temptations such as every lick of food in your house.
• Replace sweets and sugar with fruit, and then replace the fruit with imaginary fruit.
• Improve your diet overall, and while you’re at it, why don't you go ahead and get a better job and move into a nicer house?
• If you have a sweet tooth, see your dentist about having it removed.
• Remember this old saying: “Eat better foods, and better foods will eat you.” Waitaminute… that’s stupid. And now you've probably have already remembered it!
• Standing in front of a mirror and reciting positive affirmations is a good way of cracking yourself up and – at least for a moment – forgeting about your overwhelming hunger pangs.
• Drink a big glass of water, then a bigger glass of water and then an even bigger glass of water.
• Find your motivation. What that means is pretend you’re an actor or actress playing yourself in a movie and the script calls for you not to have a craving. Now ready, and… ACTION!
• Recognize “trigger” foods and shoot anyone who brings them into your home with a “gun”.
• Reward yourself every time you say “no” to your cravings by giving yourself $1,000.
• Keeping busy can help you overcome temptation – so why don't you come over and clean up my house?
• Spray a can of Raid® Ant & Roach Killer all over that batch of delicious cupcakes.
• A trained hypnotist can assist you into making positive subconscious thoughts and help subdue cravings; but keep in mind that he can also make you hop on one foot and cluck like a chicken.
• Print out this list, wad it up and eat it.
