Friday, July 31, 2009

Giving & Gaining


At the end of the day, this trek that we’re on is a lonely one. It’s just you and that smiling chubby goofball in the mirror, and the days can get kind of long and tedious if you’re staying on plan (and long and irksome if you find yourself straying).

I’m getting a little depressing, I know. Most of you just wander over here to get your daily yuk-yuk. Okay, here’s a stupid joke break: A flasher walks by two old ladies sitting on a park bench and exposes himself. One of the old ladies has a stroke… the other one can’t quite reach it.

Alrighty then… back to the topic at hand: this can be a lonely road. Even your best efforts may not yield the results you want when you want them. Friends and family may not always understand the why’s and wherefore’s of what you’re attempting to do. They may not always provide the feedback and emotional support you want, you need, you absolutely crave.

I’m going to pass on some more good advice that you already know: be sure and help others along the way.

Pay compliments. You know how much they mean to you, those honest, out-of-the-blue positive sentiments. If you notice that someone you run across has lost weight, pipe up and say something. I promise you that there’re very few people who will take a sincere “You look great…are you losing weight?” comment in the wrong way. Say it… you’ll make two people feel better.

Leave comments on blogs. You know they make your day. Make everybody else’s day, too. For a while there, I was posting twice a day (at least). After recognizing that those little leave-behinds folks were cramming beneath my posts were doing such a terrific job of lifting my spirits, I decided that that second post time would be better spent bouncing around and leaving comments for as many others as I could. Leave comments… you can start right here, right now if you’d like.

Give good advice. You’ve learned plenty on this twisty journey. Pass on what’s worked, tell others what hasn’t. Share tips on effective exercises or recipes for kick-ass chili. Let the world know what experience has taught you. Don’t take it for granted that everyone already knows what you know. For one thing, they don’t. For another, it never hurts to get a refresher. No one is obliged to take your advice, but having it out there gives others new ideas and new tools for their own weight loss efforts.

Kick a little ass. Tough love is almost a taboo subject in our little weight loss blogging world. I wish it wasn’t, because I see so many people that are crying out for it. They’re making a half-hearted efforts and whining about how little scale-love they got this week, p*ssing around when they should be pushing forward. If you’ve got the heart and the intestinal fortitude, administer a little tough love when the situation warrants.

All this giving and giving and giving can be draining and time-consuming, but it’s what makes this weight loss blogging adventure so effective, so invigorating, so essential. Anybody that's been on this path for any length of time knows that not every victory is on the scale.

Give, and keep giving because what you’ll get back in return is simply extraordinary.

58 comments:

  1. Have I told you how wonderful you are lately? I should have....you are awesome. I happen to love your serious posts even more than your funny ones...and that's saying a LOT!! I admire you, I adore you, and I'm glad we're traveling this road together. :)

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  2. Thanks Mr. Sh*t! Your comments on my blog are always welcome, even the ones that sting because let's be honest, as you said a little *ss kicking is what we all need from time to time.

    Awesome post as usual. It's nice to see this side of you. :-)

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  3. Give, and keep giving because what you’ll get back in return is simply extraordinary.

    Amen! Plus you'll get to know some pretty awesome people along the way.

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  4. That's all great advice. I comment *a lot* more than I used to, and it's been fun to join the weight-loss blog community.

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  5. This was a great post and so true. I do try to follow these rules but it's nice to be reminded. Glad you're here on this journey with me, I enjoy ALL your posts. Thanks for being you.

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  6. What a great post & so true! The support I have online is better than any other support. I love your serious posts. Have a great weekend.

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  7. Jack, you're absolutely wonderful. One of the things I love about your blog is not just the funny. You have a "realness" that shows behind the jokes. AT least to me you do. I like the serious and the goofy parts of you. Whatever makes you, you. Thats why I come and visit you when I can!

    I especially like this post. I've been thinking a lot lately about the "takers". People who just take take take take without thought of giving back. I have an old friend who just takes and takes until you run empty, and she thinks that her being in your life alone is gift enough. I'm not sure what to make of that. I don't want to be arrogant or obnoxious but I don't LIKE that she WANTS me to take her presence for granted. That does not a friendship make does it. Wait, I've gotten totally off track here! My point, your post was an excellent reminder of how the littlest things can make a huge difference. And its OK to be depressed, depressing, depressi-tory. Everyone should have those kind of times. Its healthy!

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  8. Great post and good suggestions to take to heart. Loved the flasher joke - must remember to tell it to my 80 yr old mother. And then Patty's mother - if she hasn't already.

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  9. Great advice. You're right that kindness goes a long way. Thoughtful post! Thank you :)

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  10. Great advice. You get what you give! The Golden Rule never goes out of style!

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  11. I always love your funny posts- and I did giggle at the break that you made in this one, but I like when you are serious or should I say down to earth. We all get so much support from our fellow blogger and I agree the comments are a big way to support your fellow "loser" :)

    Tough love is hard to give. Since none of us want to p*ss off anyone out there- I think I tend to just shut up- not comment when I dont agree or support what that person is doing. Ive been out here in blog land for almost 7 months now and when you cant see the scale movin in the right direction for some people its hard to tell them to focus and get with the program when they cant put down the chips. lol

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  12. Damn, Jack, the way this post began, I thought you were needing a hug or something. I was even going to give you my special boob smashing hug too.

    Now I'm confused. Hug or high five?

    Oh, and I kick people's butts on a pretty regular basis. Yeah, I can be harsh on those that won't pull their heads out of their asses. It's a gift. ;)

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  13. Damn right those comments make a difference, as does the ass-kicking - more people should do it if they can be helpful at the same time. I did snigger at the joke interlude though - nice!

    Right - I'm off to do some ass-kicking - I read one my regulars this morning and there's some foot application required ....

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  14. Jack: A wonderful post. You're getting like Garth Brooks...a crossover artist. A master at making us laugh at this hard journey, and now hard hitting and honest. I am one who looks forward to your comments. They are appreciated.

    TJ? I'll take that boob smashing hug if you still want to pass one out. heh, heh.

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  15. Great advice! You are so right - about all of those.

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  16. you are right on the money with your post!~

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  17. Great post. It's like a line in one of my favorite Sara Bareilles songs: "You only get get what you give away". :) Hilarious joke, by the way. ;)

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  18. Thanks Jack! You've been dishing out the love (and the tought love) and smart ass comments on my blog and I appreciate them all!

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  19. I like this....give and keep giving...yes, at times it is exhausting...but it is invigorating as well to know you have encouraged someone else.

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  20. I like your funny and I like your smart. Best of both worlds.

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  21. Excellent post, and I for one wholly appreciate the comments you leave me...it's nice to know that sometimes people will take a little time to say "hey, you're on the right track, keep it up!"

    So...

    Hey, you're on the right track! Keep it up! :)

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  22. Jack,
    I always feel better after dropping in to see what your thoughts are for the day. So thank you, both for the emotional lift as well as the excellent advice. And thank you for stopping in to leave a comment my way every once in a while. It always makes my day. And now I'm off to make someone else's day-I hope- and to follow your advice.

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  23. p.s. Would it embarrass you or encourage you to know that your post "Reversing It" hangs on my cubicle wall at work, directly in my line of sight?

    Either way, if you had any doubts of your motivational abilities before, let them be squashed. There's a cubicle in Cincinnati with your name on it. :)

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  24. First of all- I loved the joke.
    Secondly thanks for the advice and inspiration.
    I need some kick ass advice- I am not making the progress I need.

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  25. i read your posts every day, and i love 'em all. funny, sappy, serious, whatever. LOVE THEM. you rock.

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  26. I really love this post Jack! Your funny ones are ones I read aloud to my family (who are very supportive by the way). Its true that we dont give as much as we want to receive, so today moving forward, Im going to spread a little, ummm sunshine?? lol.

    Your doing such a great job and Im always motivated reading your blog!

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  27. As always, another wonderful post, Mr Jack Sh*t. As always!

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  28. Amigo, you have become one of my "must reads"! I'm so glad we "met"! Once again, kudos on an excellent blog post! But you're right...the support we give on our blogs is a big help for me! Comment! Comment! Comment! It helps knowing that you're not alone... Have a good weekend!

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  29. AWESOME POST! Before I forget.. loved, loved the joke!!!

    But on a more serious note, never feel you always have to be funny. I like hearing your more serious side even though I have only been over here a couple weeks.

    YES, pay compliments. I do that as much as possible. Hey, we like it coming to us, right! Same with advice... I like to hear others & if they want mine, I feel good about that. The hard part for me is tough love because some people don't want to hear it BUT if I can find a way to do it "right", I do it. I have had trouble with non receptive people in the past so... BUT, I still try.

    Thx for a great post!

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  30. Sometimes I think I feel your positive energy pouring thru my computer screen. That can happen, right?

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  31. O Jack. Brass, crass, big-hearted, funny, gut-busting, over-the-top (like toDAY with the JOKE! JACK!), make me blush and want to pretend I didn't stop in, Jack.

    You brought a tear to my eye today with your big-hearted self and your comment on my blog. You are full of surprises. Or full of somethin'. ;)

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  32. Yay for this post - i love your comments :)

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  33. This is all so true! I'm always hesitant to compliment others' potential weight loss because I fear it looks like I'm fishing for compliments on my own, but eh, so be it. :-) And I'm often shy about leaving comments, but I try hard to push past that because I know how much they mean to me. Really, there is no greater source of weight loss support in my life than my own blog and the blogs of others.

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  34. I read somewhere eating an entire jar of pickles the night before your weigh in helps you lose twice as much weight.


    Try it!

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  35. Very true. A life spent in service of others is really the only life worth living. It's the only way to get true goodness back.

    As you know, I've had a battle of it food-wise lately, and your words are a good reminder. Spending more time on others and less on my issues will go much further in fixing them.

    :)

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  36. I liked your post. :) And by the way, it took me like 5 minutes to get the joke... lol!

    - Lisa
    www.losewithlisa.blogspot.com

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  37. Very good post, Jack. And that joke was pretty funny, I thought.

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  38. I'm so glad I found you Jack. Where have you been all my life?

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  39. Fantastic post! I am guilty of not commenting. Sometimes what I read just seems too personal for me to leave a comment since they don't know me from Adam. It's weird I know...but I hate calling people too, in case they don't wanna be bothered. :)

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  40. What a great reminder, Jack. I started out without a blog and commented often. Then I started my blog and I realized how much time I'd spent commenting! I'm just now getting back to a place where I'm balancing the two. For me, it means not blogging every day (2 jobs + wedding in 2 months = busy girl!), but that's okay. Give AND take are what makes this community so great!

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  42. Good Karma post Jack.

    You're earning good points on someone's list with that one.

    Thanks for summing it up so well. :)

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  43. That's agreat post & I promise to put some of your advice into action. I love that you leave comments on my blog - even if you say my food looks like barf!

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  44. Well I do like the deep thinking Jack as well. Funny and insightful. Two for the price of one.

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  45. You sure do attract the ladies to your blog. I don't think I have seen a female commenting force like your's ever!

    I like to leave ass-kicking comments that ooze out the love I feel for the blogging community. I don't always leave them (because there are a bazillion people's blogs to read)... if I did I would have to start another blog about blog addiction...it would take me days to read everyone's stuff all the time.

    I try to get to everyone's weekly... I appreciate your comments too!

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  46. Great post. Excellent post.. You weren't referring to me though complaining about little scale love, were you? ;) Just kidding. But all this is true. Comments & emails make my day, and my mom always told me if someone cares about you, they will tell you the truth. If someone is falling along the way, maybe a tough word is what they need to start over and carry on. I appreciate your comments on my blog for sure. And if I am ever dragging my feet, feel free to use your feet to kick my butt.

    Hang in there though. I know what you mean about feeling down, and at the end of the day, you're right, it's ourselves we must hold accontable and look in the mirror. You are an inspiration to many people, including myself. Thanks for being yourself.

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  47. Once again, I find myself overwhelmed by both the quantity and quality of the responses. You people are too much (but you're getting to be less and less as time goes by).

    Thanks one and all!

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  48. Great advice and I loved the joke. ;)

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  49. i read your blog everyday, but i never post on the funny posts. im guilty of that. i expect to be amused when i come over. but when you slip in posts like this, i cant go without commenting. i usually have a tons to say on others' blogs and do want to comment, but i dont know, i get nervous about what they might think of the fact that im on here, blogging about my issues that are not seemingly important. however, i still love who i follow and read them everyday. maybe i should just comment anyway. thanks for making me think about that.

    and i agree that its tough with the people in your life dont get it or dont want you to be 'on that page.' it reminds you that youre going it alone. then i log on and read the blogs and i am reminded time and time again that people do get it and im definitely not alone.

    i see the sheer number of your followers and the people you follow and like you said, it means so much to me that you actually take the time to comment on mine. thanks for being you.

    /cheesy.

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  50. *NODS VIGOROUSLY*
    so true.

    i am off to be a giver...

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  51. Just what I needed this morning!

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  52. Great post! Reminds me of why I'm doing this and that I should do more.

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  53. Jack Shit is 'da shit! Seriously love your funnies and your seriousness-es on every post.

    Loved the stroke-joke too hahahah

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  54. thanks Jack. As always. You're totally a giver who encourages others to give. A rare and very valuable quality.

    Amy

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  55. I like your serious posts. I like comments, too, don't get very many, but I'm on a slightly different path than most, and I'm at the end of it anyway. I do some tough love, but feel bad and usually expect to be attacked for it, as most comments are cheerleading.

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  56. Yeah, I do come here for a yuk yuk (funny joke by the way). But this post is so dead on. Great post!!!! Love comments and learn so much from reading about other peoples journeys myself!

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