Thursday, July 9, 2009

More Things I Might Have Twatted If I Twittered

  • “Still on the lookout for Sugar-Free Pixie Stix.”
  • “I think I’m having hunger labor pains.”
  • “Carrot cake counts as a vegetable, right?”
  • “NSV today: got on elevator and person didn’t automatically check the sign for the weight limit.”
  • “Reminder: not every fat lady is pregnant.”
  • “I could sure go for some empty calories right about now.”
  • “Couldn’t work out this morning--too many old people in there.”
  • “I lost the cupcake fight.”
  • “Yesterday’s post felt a wee bit too seriousy.”
  • “Some people say I have too much time on my hands. Let me consider that for nine or ten hours…”
  • “Ran out of spinach, so made Green Monster with ice cream, marshmallows and green food coloring. Surprisingly, it tasted pretty good.”
  • “Still trying to figure out this ‘kilogram’ and ‘stone’ business.”
  • “Snack time. Trying to decide between handful of raw almonds or candy apple.”
  • “Well, the ‘Buy One, Get One Free” cinnamon bun offer was about to expire…”
  • “What is my ungodly fascination with taffy?”
  • “Yay! Didn’t get cheese sauce on my brocolli (went with caramel instead).
  • “They say nothing rhymes with ‘orange.’ Well, what about ‘car hinge’? Huh? Huh!?!
  • “Referring to your personal trainer as a ‘sweat monkey’ isn’t necessarily a good idea.”
  • “Rice cakes make dandy coasters.”
  • “Ouch… I think I’ve got ‘blogger’s ass.’”
  • “‘Jack Tw*t’ has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”


  1. Rice cakes make fine coasters. I couldn't agree more.

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  3. I would follow you on Twiiit-Tahhhh!

  4. Karen... I think it means that everywhere.

  5. Heee's back. Wacky Jack that is. Loved the elevator, fat/pregnant ladies, and bloggers ass.

    Jack Tw*t would just produce too many snickers. I'm just now getting over the whole, "his name is sh*t heh-heh...heh-heh...heh.

  6. Is "twatted" is the past tense of "twittered?" I guess it is now.

  7. It's not, Anne, but wouldn't it be funny if it was?

  8. Yes it does!
    Have a nice ring to it!

    Very nice. I enjoyed this one and I enjoyed yesterdays "seriousy" post!



  9. Ponder, ponder, ponder....which of the "tweets" did I like best? Can't pick just one, it would be like chosing one kid over the other. Another fine post. Still pondering the "twat" portion of the list. :)

  10. I like the Green MOnster one best. Sounds like one I would drink. :) Well, in my former pre-weight loss days. :)

  11. my favs: green monster and the stone/kg thing. :)

  12. Blogger ass ... hahahaha! Nice one.


  13. I think this means that you are one step closer to joining us tweeters! lol See how you could spread your wit around... Im just sayin!! :)

  14. LOL at the green monster - well LOL at all of it really - and YES carrot cake IS a vegetable!

  15. Holy CRAP!! I just had a good cry on my way home this morning and now I've had a good laugh. Thank you so much for your "hilarity". It is much needed in this "seriousy" weight loss world. Heaven knows we take ourselves too seriousy. You were given a gift when you got your sense of humor - thanks for sharing it.

  16. You'd have a big following on Twitter too!!!

  17. You know tis bad when occasionally you check the elevator weight limit sign on myself.

  18. Jack twit.

    I think you should roll with it.

  19. Love your version of the Green Monster. The real ones scare me!

  20. LOL Rice cakes as coasters! Actually that would really help with my absorption issues and then I could just feed them to the dogs when I'm done with them.

  21. I'm getting a case of blogger's ass right now ... what's the cure?

    Rice cakes are ... well, they're not an incentive, are they?

  22. Had me laughing at Sugar-Free Pixie Stix!

  23. I'm surprised Candace didn't suggest that you go with Jack Twat. . .

    BTW most people use a stick to eat a candy apple. . . your way would be stick "y"

  24. I alway seem to lose the cupcake fight! LOL

  25. Entire post was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. Favorites were "sure could go for empty calories," sugar-free Pixie-Stix, and rice cake coasters. Keep 'em coming, Jack!



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