Friday, July 17, 2009

Regrettable Comments I’ve Left on Weight Loss Blogs


Have you ever left a comment on somebody’s weight loss blog, and then immediately thought “Oh, maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say?” And then you were going to erase it and write something more sensible, but then your daughter Pisa calls you at the office and tells you to bring home popsicle sticks for a project she’s working on so you gotta spend the rest of the day eating popsicles even when you’re not really that hungry and the Popsicle Dude only had lime popsicles after you chased him all the way down the street yelling “Whoa! Stop! Popsicle Dude!” Yeah, me too.
  • “You’ve come a long way, Fatty.”
  • “Maybe your mom hates you.”
  • “Your kid sure is funny-looking.”
  • “If anything, it looks like you’ve gained weight.”
  • “Maybe they fired you because you were incompetent.”
  • “That haircut is hideous.”
  • “Wow, your daughter’s smokin’. What’s her email address?”
  • “That dish looks like somebody threw up on a plate.”
  • “Jesus… just give up already.”
  • “Maybe he hasn’t called because he’s been in a car accident.”
  • “Just do everything your husband says and your marriage will be fine.”
  • “Have you ever heard of “spelcheck,” stupid?
  • “I lose more than that when I break wind.”
  • “Will you please quit talking about “losing a stone”? I don’t even know what that means…”
  • “Who designed your blog… a sea-sick chimpanzee?”
  • “You deserve a reward. How about a pan of warm brownies and a glass of whole milk?”
  • “Gain because of TOM? Riiiiiiiiiiiight.”
  • “LOL at your cancer story.”
Now be sure and leave me a comment today... but think about it before you do.

43 comments:

  1. Never wanted to retract a comment, but I once called husband an *sswhole. Ok, maybe twice. Well, three times (or was it 4?). Still haven't taken it back. (he's a great guy...really)

    ReplyDelete
  2. dude, I remember this particular comment from you:

    "it's always nice to get into new pants"

    L-O-L

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have definitely wanted to post comments like that before, but I have restrained myself

    lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Wow! Way to go on the .0001 percent weight loss!" always seems to make them smile.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "LOL at your cancer story"...

    Wow...just wow.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. you take the cake Jack! I could never come up with the funny stuff you write. Fun read as always!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh man. You should declare some day next week Jack Sh*t Shnarky Comment Day or whatever and watch the events play out. Shake things up. *cackles*

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Is that your before or after picture? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. ps the 'stop talking about losing a stone' one is HILARIOUS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. My favorite comment left by Mr. Sh*t....he told me he would introduce me to his mean old man, Hoarse Sh*t.

    Thanks, but no thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's Horace.

    Horace Sh*t.

    Geez, you people...

    ReplyDelete
  13. HA HA HA!!! I like when I post an amazing meal or an accomplishment but everyone makes fun of the name of the product I used(beaver, ball..etc..) lol

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm still thinking about what to leave that would be inappropriate....I mean appropriate. Nothing comes to mind. I did love the spelchek one, tho'.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "I lose more than that when I break wind" is my favorite!

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is precisely why you have no followers, no followers at all (I mean, we are not fooled by the list up there, we know how easy it is to make a blog under a pseudonym and follow yourself, I mean we all do that, don't we, huh?).

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'd be all "har haring" if you hadn't left most of these for me.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sea-sick chimpanzees. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jack, I've put my foot or my keyboard in my mouth too many times to count.

    On an unrelated note, if you haven't revisted Fat Daddy since commenting earlier today, please do. I left a comment to you. Could not find an email to send it to - I'm still a blogging novice.

    Thanks for your comments, and lightening the load with your remarkable sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
  20. First-POPSICLES TERRIFY ME! EEEK!

    I dont know what this says about me, but the cancer one is hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love the spelcheck one! Sounds like something my husband would say.
    The smokin daughter and what's her e-mail address, also too funny.
    Thanks for the laugh and short break from reality!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Everyone knows it's a load of horse crap that Pisa "called asking for popsicles sticks for a project".....uh huh.... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I read a girl's post the other day that said she screwed up...AGAIN...by eating half of a pizza and half a gallon of ice cream....my fingers were twitching...just dying to type an inappropriate comment...but unlike you, I refrained. Next time I'm going to type it, and tell her "Jack told me to". :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Jack, they sell unused popsicle sticks at the craft store - but your method is so much more entertaining (and tastier!).

    The breaking wind comment reminds me of Jack Palance in "City Slickers"..."I crap bigger than you,"

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ahhh my daily dose of snarky Jack posts...you haven't failed to make me laugh yet.

    "You deserve a reward. How about a pan of warm brownies..." Now that is EVIL!
    I'm going to go smell the box of brownie mix in my pantry now...

    LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  26. lol. everything is always said by the time i make it here, mr.popular...

    the cancer line was clearly the best one.

    loving the comments tooo.....

    ReplyDelete
  27. Stop. It. So help me, if I pee...

    ReplyDelete
  28. If you'd give me the brownies, I'd happily take the snark.

    Breaking wind has to be my fave though ;)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh, the temptations of leaving those kinds of comments..but since I am a nice girl (yeah, right), I generally just don't comment...but I may borrow some of those and start :D

    ReplyDelete
  30. Um....how about this?

    Are you aware you can buy unused poopsicle sticks from a creaft store?

    Just checking....

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yes, yes, yes... I'm aware you can buy popsicle sticks at a craft store, but they come in packs of 50 and she only needed 15 or so. How stupid would it have been to buy a whole pack and have all those leftover sticks? Think, people. Think!

    ReplyDelete
  32. " Toll House" Rock!

    There is my crappy post!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I only hope my little boy grows up to be as snarky as you, Jack!

    Okay, so that's not really my ONLY hope.

    I also hope for a pan of warm brownies (gluten-free, please)!

    ReplyDelete
  34. The throw-up on a plate? I've actually thought that a time or two but never said it. lol

    THe only comment I've ever regretted was at a homeschool blog. I forgot to log out of my weight loss blog account and outed myself. That one stung because I don't share my weight with people I know, even though they know I'm fat. lol Now I can never make fun of her (who knows, I might have) because she hits my WW blog. ugh

    ReplyDelete
  35. If I had kids and cancer and knew what a stone was, I would think this entire post is about me...you didn't think that picture of my nephew was my kid, did you????

    ReplyDelete
  36. I enjoy your writing skills.

    I tried to write something mean---I just can't.

    OK---I'll try to write something fairly poisonous:

    I can't do it. I hold you in high regard my friend.

    Make me laugh again, come on!!! Tweet something!!

    My best
    Sean

    ReplyDelete
  37. This blog sucks. I can't believe you'd write something so lame for all the world to read.

    Not really, I love your blog. You are always good for a laugh at the end of a long day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. I guess you're trying to be funny. Which part though? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  39. Thanks for commenting on my blog, Mr. S. I'm surprised it was such a nice one. Is that because you start gently when you first comment? Bring on the snarkiness. I thank you for bringing some levity to weight loss. I have to remember that this journey is not one of the most important things in everyone else's lives, too. :).

    ReplyDelete
  40. Once again, you have me cracking up with laughter while reading. Although I'm so utterly curious to know if you purposefully mispelled something in the “Have you ever heard of “spelcheck,” stupid?" choice. Brilliant if so!!!! (and of course never admit it if it wasn't!)

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails