Thursday, July 2, 2009

Still More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

Since I've been in the gym so much lately, I've been breaking in some new conversation starters for you. Go make a new buddy...

  • “Look how puffy my muscles are getting!”
  • “I was gonna take human growth hormone, but I read somewhere that Flintstones chewables are basically the same thing.”
  • “What’s up, my brother from another mother?”
  • “Excuse me–where’s the hopscotch grid?”
  • “Did you know that a full bladder is roughly the size of a softball?”
  • “Check ‘em out… spandex mittens!”
  • “Ewwww…somebody filled my water bottle with mayonnaise.”
  • “Do you think these short shorts are too short?”
  • “I’m a maniac, maaaaaniac, on the floor. And I’m dancing like I’ve NEVER danced BEFORE. What? What? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?”
  • “Will you be my treadmill partner?”
  • “Hey, I’m gonna be over there on the Taffy Puller if you need me.”
  • “I think my personal trainer hates me. Probably because I slashed her tires.”
  • “Hey, wanna watch me do arm curls?”
  • “I just completed a marathon. Yeah, it was the Gilligan’s Island marathon on TV Land.”
  • “Tag… you’re it!”
  • “Hey, you’ve got a wireless cell phone.”
  • “Do you read Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit? Me neither.”


  1. I'm thinking of employing the "excuse me, I'm about to pass out, would you catch me please?" tactic tonight :O)

  2. How bout'

    I'm too sexy for my spandex workout suit, don't you think?

    Or a more subtle approach for the ladies in the gym;

    I don't know if you know this but working out is an aphrodisiac. I'm just about finished here if you need me. (wink)

  3. My favorite is:

    "Will you look at this rash between my fatassedness? What do you think it is?"

  4. “I just completed a marathon. Yeah, it was the Gilligan’s Island marathon on TV Land.”

    lol seriously

  5. All your stuff is great but for some reason, I like these "conversation starters" best.

    "Hey, you've got a wireless cell phone."

  6. Another one where I feel so cowardly for not saying one of these to some one in my gym. I think some one die if we actually spoke to each other.

  7. “What’s up, my brother from another mother?”
    That's gets my vote!!

    It reminds me of Justin Timberlake, "I would be so honored to be your new step-father."

  8. LMFAO...I loved the "Tag-youre it" That is hysterical!

  9. Or if you're at my gym you could say.

    "Hey, nice buldge"

    Dudes that wear spandex are douchebags by the way.

    Just sayin'.

  10. Omg... I can't stop laughing. I never talk to other people at the gym, but they talk to me and somehow... well it just irritates me when people want to talk to me while I'm running and focusing on my breathing... But seriously, if someone said any of this... I'd probably die laughing. :D

  11. Be sure to get your shimmy going while you sing those Maniac lyrics. ;)

  12. Great stuff!

    By the way, I loved yours too, Fat Daddy!

  13. you are like a precious lil pup ...
    all happy and jumping and smiley and peeing on the floor with giddiness ...
    oh wait, that's me everytime I read another one of your posts

  14. I thought you put your blog title in yellow on the last one because you linked to your own blog in a blog entry. I had to click to see. Too bad, that would have been awesome.

  15. Okay the flinstones vitamins??!! I was just at the gym yesterday (and the day before, and today) and personally challenged myself to kick two juicers asses on the stair-climbing-deathstar-machine... I thought that it would be fantastic for a 285 pound fatty to whoop up on some bulked up meat heads... it was so glorious!! They might as well be eating flinstones vitamins because they cannot do shit for cardio, and are probably about as unhealthy as couch riders.

  16. ...the doctor said it was just a rash - whaddya think? Dude!...



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