Thursday, July 16, 2009

Weight Watcher Meeting Conversation Stoppers

  • “Hi, I’m ________, and I’m an alcoholic.”
  • “Can we hurry this along? I left my 3-month old in the car.”
  • “I’m Garth Brooks. No, not like the country singer. THE country singer.”
  • “Hey, I’m a photographer for Plumphouse Magazine.”
  • “When does the karaoke part start?”
  • “I brought fresh cinnamon buns if anybody wants one.”
  • “Nobody move; I think my snake Bitey slipped out of my pocket.”
  • “I’M NOT TALKING LOUD. YOU’RE TALKING LOUD.”
  • “I hope there’s not a quiz; I didn’t study a lick.”
  • “Two men enter, one man leaves. This is Thunderdome!”
  • “My thighs are chaffing like nobody’s business. Is everybody cool with me taking off my slacks?”
  • “Who smells like fish sticks?”
  • “I’d appreciate it if everybody would call me Captain Marvelous.”
  • “Who else here is a Wiccan?”
  • “Hey, this b*tch beside me has a purse full of canned frosting and Twix bars.”
  • “Who do I talk to about buying a few extra points?”
  • “Well, where’s the ‘No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service’ sign then?”
  • “Has anybody noticed there’re a lot of fatties in here?”
  • “I just don't understand; I always weigh in in the nude at home.”
  • “I heard that if you lose 25 lbs., you get a free tattoo.”
  • “Anybody mind if I light up a stogie?”

41 comments:

  1. Where can I buy extra points.....can I really do that?!

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  2. The pet snake thing - that's funny! As are you, Jack!

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  3. Worst part is I did hear the cinnamon bun one once.


    Great list!

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  4. Those definitely made me chuckle.

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  5. Sh*t i missed out on the tatoo :)

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  6. Does anybody mind if I take my slip off? (I really heard someone say that in line one time!)

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  7. “I just don't understand; I always weigh in in the nude at home.”

    We have people like that in my meetings...

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  9. Oh my god I creid laughing reading these!!!!

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  10. I look around and always notice this one- “Has anybody noticed there’re a lot of fatties in here?”

    I just like that I am NOT the largest one in the room at that place! lol

    One meeting there was a lady who was somewhat new- all she asked about was the points of wine, beer, shots- I think she really needed ANOTHER meeting. lol

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  11. I also heard a lady once say, "Anyone mind if I change into my weigh-in dress? We're all ladies here." This totally made my day! :)

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  12. "thighs are chafing" - freakin' awesome. I took my pants off at work in honor of this post. I've been needing some time off anyways.

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  13. Hilarious! You have the most interesting posts.

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  14. Oh good lord! And I also am curious if points can be bartered.

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  15. Gawsh, reminds me of when I went to a Scottish Slimmers meeting and got glared at when I asked how many calories there were in a G&T. I never went back.

    Great list Jack!

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  16. True story-last night as I was walking into my meeting there was a party going on in another room so they were handing out birthday cake to everyone who walked in the door. Does it have points if it is partaken at the meeting? (I passed)

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  17. Let's talk about this Plumphouse mag. hehehe

    Oh, and is it bad to admit being Wiccan at WW? I know you can't say it anywhere down here in the South. *eye roll*

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  18. TOO funny! Had me laughing out loud!

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  19. "Weighing in nude". Classic!

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  20. I'd love to say ALL of these at a WW meeting...especially Thunderdome!

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  21. I'll take a cinnamon roll. Is there jello wrestling at these things? LOL

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  22. So you've obviously been to my house when me & the hubby were bitching at each other.....“I’M NOT TALKING LOUD. YOU’RE TALKING LOUD!!”

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  23. Very very fun posts!

    It makes me glad I don't attend meetings, lol.

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  24. lmao the cinnamon roll one reminds me of a TOPS group my mom and I belonged to 20 years ago. Great women who just wanted time away from their families I think :D

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  25. SO funny! Too many favorites to list them. Keep it coming, Jack.

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  26. Okay dude, you really make me laugh out loud.

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  27. I’M NOT TALKING LOUD. YOU’RE TALKING LOUD.”


    My DAUGHTER tells me this all the time.

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  28. When I used to go to WW, members frequently brought home baked muffins or cookies, etc., for others to try “just a taste” because a smidgen can’t hurt, right? Maybe not, unless you’re a raving food-addicted lunatic like me. :-0

    Love the fish sticks one! LOL

    --Susan

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  29. "Who smells like fish sticks?" EWWWWW!!!!!

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  30. LOVE IT! Now I want to join WW so I can use some of these.

    Thanks for the laugh!

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  31. People are funny. You're brilliant.

    my best
    Sean

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  32. I wish I could ride around in your head so I could laugh all day....or maybe it's a scarier place than I realize. :)

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  33. I'm tempted to go to a meeting just to try a few of these out!

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