Monday, July 20, 2009

More, More, More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

  • “Would you like a puff of this?”
  • “My new workout outfit is a little tight. I got it at Gymboree.”
  • “Do you know if this treadmill goes slower than 0.1?”
  • “Will you give me an honest assessment of my glutes?”
  • “But these are my workout flip-flops.”
  • “Circuit training? No, I’m doing circus training.”
  • “Check out how ripped I am. Yeah, I mean my pants.”
  • “Dude, you’d better get those poppy veins looked at.”
  • “I like to listen to nature sounds on my iPod when I’m on the treadmill; I can almost imagine I’m actually walking outside.”
  • “Could I borrow a dab of your human growth hormone?”
  • “I’m going no carbs as soon as I finish this loaf of French bread.”
  • “I think there’s too much ‘ham’ in my hamstring.”
  • “I always thought ‘BMI’ stood for ‘Bowel Movement Index.’”
  • “This Powerade tastes like p*ss; oh, waitaminute…”
  • “My personal trainer is hiding from me. Again.”
  • “You know what would be a cool name for an exercise: ‘The Abdominal Snowman.’”
  • “Yes, I am Jack Sh*t. Oh, I’m sorry; I thought you asked me if I was Jack Sh*t.”


  1. Ya ever get tired of people telling you how wonderful your posts are? Nah, I thought not. Wonderful post...Reduntantly yours, VRaz

  2. I hear you on the "circus training". Some days are like a three ringer.

  3. My favorite was giving up the carbs after eating the loaf of french bread, lol...

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. BMI doesn't stand for Bowel Movement Index?

    Oh shit!

  6. How about, "Sorry!, If you take several deep breaths, you'll get used to the smell. At least that's how it worked on the farm where I grew up."

    Or just, "Excuse me, would you pull my finger?"

  7. It's like a personality assessment test:

    "If you consistently pick #3,7, or 12 as your favorite from Jack's list that means you are a good team player, slightly introverted, and you favorite color is yellow."

  8. LOL, the worrying thing is, the comments are getting funnier than the posts - Jack, you gotta up your game!

  9. lol i literally was about to make a comment on your comments and and fat[free]me said it. dang.

  10. LOL “Dude, you’d better get those poppy veins looked at.” LOVE IT! lol

  11. love it! I think my fave was the french bread too. I think its a statement I may have actually uttered at one point!

  12. Do you know if this treadmill goes slower than 0.1?

    That make me pee a little from laughing too hard.



Related Posts with Thumbnails