Monday, July 20, 2009

More, More, More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

  • “Would you like a puff of this?”
  • “My new workout outfit is a little tight. I got it at Gymboree.”
  • “Do you know if this treadmill goes slower than 0.1?”
  • “Will you give me an honest assessment of my glutes?”
  • “But these are my workout flip-flops.”
  • “Circuit training? No, I’m doing circus training.”
  • “Check out how ripped I am. Yeah, I mean my pants.”
  • “Dude, you’d better get those poppy veins looked at.”
  • “I like to listen to nature sounds on my iPod when I’m on the treadmill; I can almost imagine I’m actually walking outside.”
  • “Could I borrow a dab of your human growth hormone?”
  • “I’m going no carbs as soon as I finish this loaf of French bread.”
  • “I think there’s too much ‘ham’ in my hamstring.”
  • “I always thought ‘BMI’ stood for ‘Bowel Movement Index.’”
  • “This Powerade tastes like p*ss; oh, waitaminute…”
  • “My personal trainer is hiding from me. Again.”
  • “You know what would be a cool name for an exercise: ‘The Abdominal Snowman.’”
  • “Yes, I am Jack Sh*t. Oh, I’m sorry; I thought you asked me if I was Jack Sh*t.”

13 comments:

  1. Ya ever get tired of people telling you how wonderful your posts are? Nah, I thought not. Wonderful post...Reduntantly yours, VRaz

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  2. I hear you on the "circus training". Some days are like a three ringer.

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  3. My favorite was giving up the carbs after eating the loaf of french bread, lol...

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. BMI doesn't stand for Bowel Movement Index?

    Oh shit!

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  6. How about, "Sorry!, If you take several deep breaths, you'll get used to the smell. At least that's how it worked on the farm where I grew up."

    Or just, "Excuse me, would you pull my finger?"

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  7. It's like a personality assessment test:

    "If you consistently pick #3,7, or 12 as your favorite from Jack's list that means you are a good team player, slightly introverted, and you favorite color is yellow."

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  8. LOL, the worrying thing is, the comments are getting funnier than the posts - Jack, you gotta up your game!

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  9. lol i literally was about to make a comment on your comments and and fat[free]me said it. dang.

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  10. LOL “Dude, you’d better get those poppy veins looked at.” LOVE IT! lol

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  11. love it! I think my fave was the french bread too. I think its a statement I may have actually uttered at one point!

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  12. Do you know if this treadmill goes slower than 0.1?


    That make me pee a little from laughing too hard.

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