Saturday, July 25, 2009

What the Refrigerator Said to Me…

  • “Why don’t you come up and see me some time?”
  • “Meet me back here at midnight.”
  • “I got cheese today. Cheeeeeeese.”
  • “Are you religious? Cause I’m the answers to all your prayers.”
  • “There might be one more popscicle back in the back.”
  • “What’s the rush? Stand here and browse a little.”
  • “Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your willpower.”
  • “Meal or no meal?”
  • “Yes, that’s a banana in my drawer, and I am happy to see you.”
  • “You’re always welcome back at the Snack Shack!”
  • “Have you ever tried squirting mayonnaise in your mouth? Heaven!”
  • “I have no idea who put all that beer in there.”
  • “Y’know what’s better than cold pizza in the morning? Nothing!”
  • “That yogurt’s nasty, baby. Get you something good!”
  • “Sorry, all the salad stuff’s gone over to the Dark Side.”
  • “You want the celery? You can’t handle the celery!”
  • “I’ll trade you that apple for what’s inside this Tupperware container…”
  • “You’ll be back!”


  1. lol very good! People squirt mayo in thier mouths? I spose that could make sense, cutting out the middle man and all that lol

  2. squirting mayo in your mouth huh?

  3. How about...You so hongry! You so hongry! Me Love You Long Time!

  4. You've been a bad boy. Go to my room.

    Oh, sorry. I thought we were doing pick up lines. ;)

    BTW, there is something better than cold pizza in the morning. Just sayin' HA!

  5. Meet me back here at midnight.--Mine says that all the time to me.

    LOL at the mayo.

  6. The refrigerator light is very flattering to your skin-tone.

    I don't know about the mayo, but the aerosol whipping cream has seen some action.

  7. Well, obviously standing in front of the refridgerator is cold and it is a scientific fact that you burn more calories when cold, so standing in front of it and eating sort of negates the calories consumed, see?

  8. “Yes, that’s a banana in my drawer, and I am happy to see you.”


  9. My gag reflex just activated at the thought of squirting mayonnaise in my mouth.

    And I like your thinking, FD. Goes double for the freezer, right?

  10. fantastic Jack, reading your stuff always makes me chuckle

  11. I seriously laughed out loud "you can't handle the celery!"
    and "You'll be back."

    Wanna make a million bucks? Design a ---I better e-mail it to you... shhh!

    I bet you already know what I'm going to say!

    My best

  12. How about, "If you hold an apple then no one will notice you sticking your finger into the chocolate pie."

  13. Jack - always the Good Humor Man!

  14. You definitely have a possessed refrigerator. I would call the Maytag repair man immediately! He needs someone to talk to.

  15. Ummm. I can't handle the celery either. Why the hell do I keep buying it?

  16. Watch out for that Snack Shack!! Love that all the salad went over to the "dark side". Another very funny post!

  17. I had a friend once who said she found her young daughter asleep in front of the refrigerator one morning. When asked why she was there, she said she'd had a bad dream and she knew her mom would come to the fridge in the night. . . to find and comfort her.

    Oh, that's not very funny is it. . . oops.

    I like Diane's comment. Maybe we should only gaze in the fridge when are arms are already pretty overloaded with fruit. . . like a fruit shield!

  18. the mayo line was uncalled for.

    Monica's banana in the drawer comment.. the BEST!

  19. lol at those comments.

    my Frigidaire does on occasion holla some thing along alot of those lines...



Related Posts with Thumbnails