Saturday, July 25, 2009

What the Refrigerator Said to Me…

  • “Why don’t you come up and see me some time?”
  • “Meet me back here at midnight.”
  • “I got cheese today. Cheeeeeeese.”
  • “Are you religious? Cause I’m the answers to all your prayers.”
  • “There might be one more popscicle back in the back.”
  • “What’s the rush? Stand here and browse a little.”
  • “Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your willpower.”
  • “Meal or no meal?”
  • “Yes, that’s a banana in my drawer, and I am happy to see you.”
  • “You’re always welcome back at the Snack Shack!”
  • “Have you ever tried squirting mayonnaise in your mouth? Heaven!”
  • “I have no idea who put all that beer in there.”
  • “Y’know what’s better than cold pizza in the morning? Nothing!”
  • “That yogurt’s nasty, baby. Get you something good!”
  • “Sorry, all the salad stuff’s gone over to the Dark Side.”
  • “You want the celery? You can’t handle the celery!”
  • “I’ll trade you that apple for what’s inside this Tupperware container…”
  • “You’ll be back!”

21 comments:

  1. lol very good! People squirt mayo in thier mouths? I spose that could make sense, cutting out the middle man and all that lol

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  2. squirting mayo in your mouth huh?

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  3. How about...You so hongry! You so hongry! Me Love You Long Time!

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  4. You've been a bad boy. Go to my room.

    Oh, sorry. I thought we were doing pick up lines. ;)

    BTW, there is something better than cold pizza in the morning. Just sayin' HA!

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  5. Meet me back here at midnight.--Mine says that all the time to me.

    LOL at the mayo.

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  6. The refrigerator light is very flattering to your skin-tone.

    I don't know about the mayo, but the aerosol whipping cream has seen some action.

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  7. Well, obviously standing in front of the refridgerator is cold and it is a scientific fact that you burn more calories when cold, so standing in front of it and eating sort of negates the calories consumed, see?

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  8. “Yes, that’s a banana in my drawer, and I am happy to see you.”

    LMAO

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  9. My gag reflex just activated at the thought of squirting mayonnaise in my mouth.

    And I like your thinking, FD. Goes double for the freezer, right?

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  10. fantastic Jack, reading your stuff always makes me chuckle

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  11. I seriously laughed out loud "you can't handle the celery!"
    and "You'll be back."

    Wanna make a million bucks? Design a ---I better e-mail it to you... shhh!

    I bet you already know what I'm going to say!

    My best
    Sean

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  12. How about, "If you hold an apple then no one will notice you sticking your finger into the chocolate pie."

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  13. Jack - always the Good Humor Man!

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  14. You definitely have a possessed refrigerator. I would call the Maytag repair man immediately! He needs someone to talk to.

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  15. Ummm. I can't handle the celery either. Why the hell do I keep buying it?

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  16. Watch out for that Snack Shack!! Love that all the salad went over to the "dark side". Another very funny post!

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  17. I had a friend once who said she found her young daughter asleep in front of the refrigerator one morning. When asked why she was there, she said she'd had a bad dream and she knew her mom would come to the fridge in the night. . . to find and comfort her.

    Oh, that's not very funny is it. . . oops.

    I like Diane's comment. Maybe we should only gaze in the fridge when are arms are already pretty overloaded with fruit. . . like a fruit shield!

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  18. the mayo line was uncalled for.

    Monica's banana in the drawer comment.. the BEST!

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  19. lol at those comments.

    my Frigidaire does on occasion holla some thing along alot of those lines...
    I AM STRONG. YOU WON'T GET ME FRIDGE.

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