- “That looks delicious, but no thank you.”
- “Beer? No, I’m cutting back.”
- “No, I wouldn’t care for a taste. I just enjoy watching you eat that sundae.”
- “Can you bring me a half-portion?”
- “Let’s say we not order a pizza.”
- “More bread? I couldn’t.”
- “We’d better not; you know I can’t control myself at Mexican restaurants.”
- “Buffet? Boo!”
- “That’s too high in sodium for me.”
- “That salad could be a meal in itself. As a matter of fact…”
- “No, thanks. I don’t eat at the movies.”
- “More cottage cheese, please.”
- “Nah, that’s not on my diet.”
- “Donut? Uh uh…no way.”
- “Y’know, boiled okra is just as good as fried okra.”
- “I can’t finish this.”
- “Do you have anything besides chips and dip?”
- “That’s a little too rich for me.”
- “Sure, I’d love another rice cake.”
- “No chocolate for me, thanks.”
- “Do you have sugar-free maple syrup?”
- “Mmmmmmm… now that’s good celery!”
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Phrases I've Never Uttered
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Uhhhhh! I feel like such an outcast!
ReplyDeleteI have uttered every one of those!
Love the list!
I had a college room mate who would say "I'm just too tired to eat." Yeah, right. . .
ReplyDeleteTo be successful on this journey I think you have to FORCE yourself to utter a few of those lines from time to time. Yeah unfortunately, I am guilty of the "more cottage cheese please" when I should have stopped at one serving. haha
ReplyDeleteGreat post-clever as always! :)
We all know I didn't say this one at all over the weekend...
ReplyDelete“Donut? Uh uh…no way.”
Boiled okra really is better than fried, honest!
ReplyDeleteI confess: I have actually started uttering these phrases more frequently.
ReplyDeleteAnd I like boiled okra.
I knew you were sh*tting us, Jack.
ReplyDeleteAnd if everyone said one of your lines, I'd be out of business. I don't think there's any need to worry though. ;)
Not to sound like a goody two shoes, but I've actually said some of these in the last 317 days. Never before that though, I promise!
ReplyDeleteVery true.
my best
How about, "No thanks, you have the last piece of cake?"
ReplyDeleteI've been saying some of that stuff myself. even though it hurts...so good that is.
Dearest Jack, you have inspired us to create a list of our own. Check us out at 2wwkittehs.blogspot.com and add some of your wit to our list.
ReplyDeletePurrrrty please,
The Black Kitteh & The Orange Kitteh
LMAO...The celery one is something I would never, ever utter!!!
ReplyDeleteAnother great list Mr. Sh*t. I wanted to tell you that I took one of your lists to my weight group last night and I ( or rather YOU ) were the hit of the meeting. They were rolling!
ReplyDeleteKeep me laughing...
Very, very cool post, lol. :)
ReplyDeleteToday I went wild and declined carrot and chocolate cake. All in the same breath. The angels sang.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Umm, yes. I do very much agree. And my family nickname is "Bread", as if you couldn't guess why.
ReplyDeleteI have never said, "I'd love another rice cake." I've never said I'd love the first rice cake.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I admit I have said a number of the others.
I said nearly all of these in the month of july, it has been an awfully loooong month full of birthdays, people must be really bored in October.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I love celery, with cheez whiz. ;P
I've never said, "Gee those brussel sprouts are delicious!"
ReplyDeleteAs a child, I didn't know you could eat okra any other way than fried. The first time I tried it boiled I thought it was a sick joke.
ReplyDeleteI've actually said quite a few of those!
ReplyDeleteI'll never understand the people that say, "I get so busy that I forget to eat!"
ReplyDeleteHow could one forget about food??
OH NO, I have said A LOT of those... does that make me bad or weird? Very funny post & I am sure we can all relate!
ReplyDeleteYou seriously should do something with your "aweswomeness" to make some money! I wish I could say the check's in mail. You deserve one!
ReplyDelete"awesomeness"....proof read much?
ReplyDeleteI second the sentiments of F.McButter Pants -- get paid for your wit and wisdom !!
ReplyDeleteI am new to your blog + blogging myself but earlier today whilst at work I *printed* out lots of your blog entries to (a) amuse me (b) inspire me (c) give me some interesting reading material.
Your blog is ACE !!!
I've said a lot of those, but never the rice cake one. Blech.
ReplyDeleteI love rice cakes... I always ask for another...
ReplyDeletemm..mmmm.
Why would you even consider boiling okra? Yuck! Fried or pickled is the only way I'll eat it.
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny. lol Thanks for the laugh! :)
ReplyDeleteOooh, I have actually said a fair number of those. Through gritted teeth and clenched fists.
ReplyDeleteAnd in defense of rice cakes, as we eat a lot of them, some of them are pretty good. Depending on the flavor and brand!
That post was too rich for me....
ReplyDelete(Really that's the one that always gets to me. Why would you order cheese cake take a bite and then declare it "too rich" isn't that the point?)
Loved this list. I use about 1/2 of it regularly, but quite a few of the others will likely never be heard from these lips. :)
ReplyDeleteI have asked for more cottage cheese, but no to the boiled okra. No. No. no.
ReplyDeleteWhoa... I've said 12 of those things. What does that mean????
ReplyDeleteChicks say this stuff all the time... but, hey, SOMEone had to eat the stuff!
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO!!!!! Good job!
ReplyDeleteLMFBO. That's tremendous.
ReplyDeletehilarious and I am in the same club.I do admit to being very partial to rice cakes though,,,,,,,,
ReplyDeleteI do utter these phrases pretty frequently but you can keep your snotty boiled okra. Thanks. I asked my husband to split a meal with me a week or so ago. He always wants to and then caves in the face of hunger. It was WAAAYYY too much and he regretted it. People! This is like ALWAYS having a 50% off coupon!! Okay. I'll stop with the "People" routine and go look in the mirror now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
ReplyDelete