More Weight Watcher Meeting Conversation Stoppers

• “Have you ever tried shoving a Snickers bar inside a Twinkee, then microwaving it for 20 seconds?”
  
• “How many points are in puppy meat?”
  
• “In some cultures, it’s a sign of great respect to loudly break wind in a crowd.”
  
• “Hey, when the meeting starts, let’s all start yelling like it was a town hall meeting.”
  
• “Who’ll give me a dollar to eat a whole can of Cheese Whiz?”
  
• “Do you know if they make sugar-free edible underwear?”
  
• “I don’t get my weigh-in… I dieted all morning.”
  
• “I’ve already lost one-quarter of one percent of my total body weight.”
  
• “We oughta all tailgate in the parking lot before our next weigh-in.”
  
• “Does my fat ass make my ass look fat?”

  
• “Are we gonna have square dancing again this week?”
  
• “I’m really on a roller coaster; one week I’m up two pounds, the next week I’m up four pounds.”
  
• 
“Whenever I get hunger cravings, I just brush my teeth… with frosting.”
  
• “I can’t believe I gained weight this week. I mean, I’m wearing my lucky floral mumu.”
  
• “I had a big loss this week. Congratulations?!? Congratulations on losing my house? You are one sick human being!”
  
• “Do you have any leftover points you’re not using?”
  
• “I’m gonna try Zumba as soon as I can say the word 'Zumba' without laughing.”
  
• “Can you believe I’m wearing a cowboy hat made out of pound cake?”
  
• “Do you know where they keep the emergency chips-n-dip?”

Things That'll Get You Kicked Out of a WW Meeting

• Loudly challenging everyone in the room to a caramel apple-eating contest

• Wearing a Sumo wrestling outfit to meeting
  
  
• Bringing a more forgiving scale and offering “second opinion” weigh-ins for $5
  
  
• Standing on your chair and singing “I Like Big Butts” at the top of your lungs
  
  
• Picking a fight with somebody because she’s sitting in your “lucky chair”
  
  
• Cleaning your gun during meeting
  
  
• Screaming “I’M SO DAMN HUNGRY” every five minutes
  
  
• Wearing pants made out of fruit leather
  
  
• Taking bets during weigh-ins
  
  
• Trying to organize a séance during meeting
  
  
• Loudly repeating every single word the leader says
  
  
• Repainting the wall because you claim the wall color is responsible for your recent weight gain
  
  
• Wheeling in a wagon filled with steaming hot taco meat
  
  
• Excessive public flossing
  
  
• Spending entire meeting making elaborate candy corn sculptures
  
  
• Dressing up like a giant Gummi Bear and prancing around the room during meeting
  
  
• Trying to sign people up to your knock-off weight loss program “Weight Watchpersons” at a booth in the restroom
  
  
• Trying to hook up your own hammock to sit in
  
  
• Insisting on weighing in nude

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Weight Watcher Meeting Conversation Stoppers

• “Hi, I’m ________, and I’m an alcoholic.”
• “Can we hurry this along? I left my 3-month old in the car.”
• “I’m Garth Brooks. No, not like the country singer. THE country singer.”
• “Hey, I’m a photographer for Plumphouse Magazine.”
• “When does the karaoke part start?”
• “I brought fresh cinnamon buns if anybody wants one.”
• “Nobody move; I think my snake Bitey slipped out of my pocket.”
• “I’M NOT TALKING LOUD. YOU’RE TALKING LOUD.”
• “I hope there’s not a quiz; I didn’t study a lick.”
• “Two men enter, one man leaves. This is Thunderdome!”
• “My thighs are chaffing like nobody’s business. Is everybody cool with me taking off my slacks?”
• “Who smells like fish sticks?”
• “I’d appreciate it if everybody would call me Captain Marvelous.”
• “Who else here is a Wiccan?”
• “Hey, this b*tch beside me has a purse full of canned frosting and Twix bars.”
• “Who do I talk to about buying a few extra points?”
• “Well, where’s the ‘No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service’ sign then?”
• “Has anybody noticed there’re a lot of fatties in here?”
• “I just don't understand; I always weigh in in the nude at home.”
• “I heard that if you lose 25 lbs., you get a free tattoo.”
• “Anybody mind if I light up a stogie?”