I'm on a Diet

Jack Sh*t – get your comments ready.
Weight’s about to go down.
Everybody in the place shut your freakin’ mouth,

And lace up your mother-joggin’ shoes.

We running today, let’s go!

I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.
 
Everybody look at me,

‘Cause I’m sticking to my diet.

I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.

Take a good hard look

At my blubber-bustin’ diet.



I’m on a diet, blubber-blogger, take a look at me.
Losing pounds on this diet, that’s my guarantee.
Working out, dawg, don’t wanna keep it private.
Look at me, blogger brothers, ‘cause I’m on a diet

.

Yeah, I was too thick,
I’m on a diet, bitch.
I got some healthy fruits and veggies
All up in my fridge.

I got my running shoes,
And my running buddies,

While other folks are channel-surfin’,
Loading up their tummies.



I’m working at the gym,
Doing lunges and sh*t.
I keep on jogging,
Til’ my shirt's all wet
.
Not in my Lazy-Boy - I’m gettin’ all fit.
I’m on a diet, salad-eaters, and my name’s Jack Sh*t!


I’m on a diet and,
Got a new game plan.
Just ate some yogurt that I topped with lots of wheat bran.
I’m the king of the scale, like I’m on the Biggest Loser.
Feeling pretty good now, know I got a healthy future.
 


Get the f*ck up, this diet is real!

Eat candy? I’m on a diet, blubber-blogger
!
Eat chips? I’m eating fruit,  blubber-blogger!
Rockin’ out my birthday suit, blubber-blogger!
I’m finally givin’ a toot, blubber-blogger!

Hey ma, if you could see me now
,
Since I’m not eating as much as a cow
.
Gonna take this diet to goal weight somehow.
Like Jillian says, “You gotta keep going!”
 



Yeah, never thought I’d be on a diet
.
And I think, you too, ought to try it.
My weigh-in, look at that, OH!

Never thought I’d see the day,
Looking forward to what I weigh.

Believe me when I say,
“The hell with the buffet!”

I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.

Everybody look at me

'Cause I’m finally on a diet.
I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.

Take a good hard look

At the blubber-busting diet.