Monday, August 22, 2011

A Few More Weight Loss Songs for Kids

This Fat Man

This fat man, he played one.
He ate crap and weighed a ton.
With a big-snack, fatty-Jack, eat until you groan.

This fat man came rolling home.



This fat man, he played two.

Finally decided that he was through.

Give your snack-back, fatty-Jack, into the unknown.

This fat man quit rolling home.



This fat man, he played three.

He is starting to break free.

With a good-snack, fatty-Jack, now you’re in the zone.

This fat man comes jogging home.



This fat man, he played four.

 Never gonna be like he was before.

With a healthy-snack, fitter-Jack, solid as a stone.

This fit man is rolling on.




I’ve Been Working On My Waistline

I've been workin’ on my waistline,

All the live long day.
I've been workin’ on my waistline,

Not happy with what I weigh.

Don’t you see up here blogging?

Postin’ so early in the morn.
When I have a good weigh-in, 

It’s “Jackie, toot your horn!”

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won't you toot your horn?

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won't you toot,

Jackie, won’t you… ohhhh… who tooted?



I'm Jack Sh*t The Bloggin' Man

I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man,
I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man. 

I work up my heart rate,
I’m headin’ to goal weight. 

I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.

I’m one ignoramus
Who blogs about weight loss,
And tries to keep things more light.
I tweet some and blog some,
And try to be awesome.
Some suck, but some are all right.

If anyone wants to read my screed,
Go to Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit (if you can).
It’ll help change your behavior.
I’m your weight loss savior.
That’s Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.

I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man,
I’m Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.
I may act all farcical,

But it’s my weight loss chronicle.
I'm Jack Sh*t the Bloggin’ Man.

8 comments:

  1. Ah, you're creative. I enjoyed 'This Fat Man' the most.

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  2. This is freaking awesome! I LOVE IT! GOT TO TWEET IT!

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  3. Oh, Jack! I make up cute parody kid songs too, but they usually crap out toward the end - usually about the time my husband is giving me that "I think there's a problem with your brain being missing" look. (btw: Have you ever seen the hoedown segment of that show "Who's Line Is It, Anyway?" I think you'd like it! These comedians improv funny lyrics to the tune of a hoedown song. Kinda up your alley, right?)

    I'm gonna try my hand at one or two, writing em out so I have time to fix them before they suck too bad! And then I'm going to post em as an *In Honor of Jack Fit* post!

    Humor might not be my strong point, but silly I've got covered! But you're the comedy f*ckin master. So I'm trusting you to tell me if they suck! ;)

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  4. Awesome, Don't think I could ever be this funny. Just new here and when I work out how to get my twitter co dependent with my blogger I'll just have to tweet you out there. xL

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  5. Those kids were really cute. What if more if they are going to wear costume when they sing? I think they will look more attractive if they have to wear a costume when singing.

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  6. Hello, just recently discovered your blog but I am really enjoying your sense of humour….and your musical genius :-)

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  7. lol. this did make me smile.
    i miss smiling

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