• Most fitness centers will let you work out for free if you look and sound exactly like a famous celebrity.
• Yes, tracking calories is hard, but do you know what else is hard? Obtaining a PhD in theoretical physics! And suduko puzzles!
• One way to make yourself look thinner is to firm up all the muscles of your body.
• Do Greek yoga while eating Greek yogurt.
• Avoid prolonged exposure to the sun and candy bars.
• It’s important to have good running shoes if you’re going to jog regularly, but it’s more important to have good running feet.
• If you’re ever trapped in the middle of a maze of giant waffles, resist the urge to eat your way out of it.
• One way to make yourself drink more water is to remember the story of the Porpoise and the Hare.
• Instead of canola oil, try cooking with can’tola oil.
• Be a careful shopper; make certain you don’t grab a bag of those 1,000-calorie snacks instead of the 100-calorie ones.
• St. Clement of Alexandra said, “If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” You can apply that to your weight-loss journey by changing it slightly: “If you do not eat Cheetos, you will not find that your ass suddenly won’t fit in your nice dress slacks.”
LOL another way to drink more water is to remember that you DONT WANT TO PAY $1500 to the ER for PASSING OUT AT THE GYM. (yup - true story)
ReplyDeleteSiduko is hard... haiku is easier :)
Forget Liposuction - Try Lip Obstruction
ReplyDeleteHow do you stay so funny?
ReplyDeleteI have even managed to get my personal trainer to follow you...
xx
GREEK yogurt?
ReplyDeleteI thought it was "GEEK!"
Dang it.
Hey Jack,just new to blogger. Here to help my self kick butt. Hope you don't mind if I follow along. I love your straight down the line (hope thats not an Aussie saying)attitude. Feel like a get my butt kicked everytime I read your post. CheersLynda
ReplyDeleteI just surround myself by other fat people to make myself feel better.
ReplyDelete