Friday, August 26, 2011

Weight-Loss Tips to Help You Lose Weight!

• Most fitness centers will let you work out for free if you look and sound exactly like a famous celebrity.

• Yes, tracking calories is hard, but do you know what else is hard? Obtaining a PhD in theoretical physics! And suduko puzzles!

• One way to make yourself look thinner is to firm up all the muscles of your body.

• Do Greek yoga while eating Greek yogurt.

• Avoid prolonged exposure to the sun and candy bars.

• It’s important to have good running shoes if you’re going to jog regularly, but it’s more important to have good running feet.

• If you’re ever trapped in the middle of a maze of giant waffles, resist the urge to eat your way out of it.

• One way to make yourself drink more water is to remember the story of the Porpoise and the Hare.

• Instead of canola oil, try cooking with can’tola oil.

• Be a careful shopper; make certain you don’t grab a bag of those 1,000-calorie snacks instead of the 100-calorie ones.

• St. Clement of Alexandra said, “If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” You can apply that to your weight-loss journey by changing it slightly: “If you do not eat Cheetos, you will not find that your ass suddenly won’t fit in your nice dress slacks.”

6 comments:

  1. LOL another way to drink more water is to remember that you DONT WANT TO PAY $1500 to the ER for PASSING OUT AT THE GYM. (yup - true story)

    Siduko is hard... haiku is easier :)

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  2. Forget Liposuction - Try Lip Obstruction

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  3. How do you stay so funny?

    I have even managed to get my personal trainer to follow you...

    xx

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  4. GREEK yogurt?
    I thought it was "GEEK!"
    Dang it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey Jack,just new to blogger. Here to help my self kick butt. Hope you don't mind if I follow along. I love your straight down the line (hope thats not an Aussie saying)attitude. Feel like a get my butt kicked everytime I read your post. CheersLynda

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  6. I just surround myself by other fat people to make myself feel better.

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