Mo' Mojo






Dude, you’re pretty soft; haven’t you been working out?

Uh no, I’ve really been slacking.

Oh no, you need a boost; I mean, mo’ mojo.

Ohhh… mo’ mojo. Cool…

When you want to spur a workout partner (mo’ mojo)

And make ‘em work out just a lil’ harder (mo’ mojo)

To tell a dude how to raise his game (mo’ mojo) 

Say ‘mo’ mojo’ so you can fan the flame (mo’ mojo)


Hey, yo man, you got to pump some iron (mo’ mojo)
It’s time to really get them pistons firin’ (mo’ mojo) 

Do push-ups til’ your arms are weary (mo’ mojo)

Go joggin’ while you argue with Siri (mo’ mojo)


It’s hard to exercise but you should (mo’ mojo)

It’ll leave you feelin’ hella good (mo’ mojo)

So pack a gym bag so you always ready (mo’ mojo)

You know you love to get hot and sweaty (mo’ mojo)


I admit it I’m a lazy cuss (mo’ mojo)

But I’m gonna do this for an hour plus (mo’ mojo)
And yo, I’m smellin’ just a little foul (mo’ mojo)
Damn, but I forgot to bring a shower towel (mo’ mojo)

I know you hate it when I really stink (mo’ mojo)
Maybe I’ll wash my pits off in the sink (mo’ mojo)


Yeah, man I’m really feeling pumped right now (mo’ mojo)

Are you really feeling pumped right now? (mo’ mojo)

Yo, we should do Jillian’s workout tape (mo’ mojo)
So we can get ourselves in better shape (mo’ mojo)

Man, we should put some focus on our quads (mo’ mojo)

Yo, it’s time to really love our bods (mo’ mojo)

Hey yo I’ve been thinking ‘bout a Zumba class (mo’ mojo)

Hey yo I’ve been thinking about losing some ass (mo’ mojo)

Or we could exercise while we dine (mo’ mojo)

Or do jumpin’ jacks in a line (mo’ mojo)

Or we could go and run a marathon (mo’ mojo)

And when we finish run another one! (mo’ mojo)


Hey yo mo’ mojo but I wanna dress up in spandex

And strut through the gym while I pose down and flex
Yeah mo’ mojo but I wish we lived in Ancient Greece
Enter the Olympics and earn five golds apiece.



Hey mo’ mojo but today I’m gonna get real jiggy

And I love it that I’m not such a too-big biggie.

Those two words have set me free (mo’ mojo)

Damn, it feels good to be (mo’ mojo)

I'm on a Diet

Jack Sh*t – get your comments ready.
Weight’s about to go down.
Everybody in the place shut your freakin’ mouth,

And lace up your mother-joggin’ shoes.

We running today, let’s go!

I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.
 
Everybody look at me,

‘Cause I’m sticking to my diet.

I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.

Take a good hard look

At my blubber-bustin’ diet.



I’m on a diet, blubber-blogger, take a look at me.
Losing pounds on this diet, that’s my guarantee.
Working out, dawg, don’t wanna keep it private.
Look at me, blogger brothers, ‘cause I’m on a diet

.

Yeah, I was too thick,
I’m on a diet, bitch.
I got some healthy fruits and veggies
All up in my fridge.

I got my running shoes,
And my running buddies,

While other folks are channel-surfin’,
Loading up their tummies.



I’m working at the gym,
Doing lunges and sh*t.
I keep on jogging,
Til’ my shirt's all wet
.
Not in my Lazy-Boy - I’m gettin’ all fit.
I’m on a diet, salad-eaters, and my name’s Jack Sh*t!


I’m on a diet and,
Got a new game plan.
Just ate some yogurt that I topped with lots of wheat bran.
I’m the king of the scale, like I’m on the Biggest Loser.
Feeling pretty good now, know I got a healthy future.
 


Get the f*ck up, this diet is real!

Eat candy? I’m on a diet, blubber-blogger
!
Eat chips? I’m eating fruit,  blubber-blogger!
Rockin’ out my birthday suit, blubber-blogger!
I’m finally givin’ a toot, blubber-blogger!

Hey ma, if you could see me now
,
Since I’m not eating as much as a cow
.
Gonna take this diet to goal weight somehow.
Like Jillian says, “You gotta keep going!”
 



Yeah, never thought I’d be on a diet
.
And I think, you too, ought to try it.
My weigh-in, look at that, OH!

Never thought I’d see the day,
Looking forward to what I weigh.

Believe me when I say,
“The hell with the buffet!”

I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.

Everybody look at me

'Cause I’m finally on a diet.
I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.

Take a good hard look

At the blubber-busting diet.