Geoffrey Rutledge, MD, PhD
I just wanted to follow up on the invitation I sent you to be a featured blogger on Wellsphere.com. I was impressed with your blog at http://jackfit.blogspot.com/, and invited you to be a featured blogger in the new Weight Loss community. We would republish from your blog the articles you are already posting, so there is nothing you have to do but say yes. We will also promote your blog in our new dynamic, magazine-like WellPages (with no extra work for you)! If you're interested in being featured and promoting your blog to the Wellsphere audience (now nearly 6 million visitors per month, and growing), please drop me an email, or you can begin right away by signing up at http://www.wellsphere.com/bloggerSignUp.firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hey Doctor Geoff,
Congratulations! Apparently your HealthBloggy network has gained an even 1,000,000 visitors per month since our last conversation last week. That’s super-duper impressive. Hey, did you know I just hit 300 Followers? That’s impressive, too, don’t you think? What a team we make!
You know how I know you’re a real doctor, Doctor Geoff? You didn’t answer any of my questions from my previous letter. My regular doc doesn’t listen either. I’ll be like “What’s this big thing growing on my foot?” and he’ll be like “Your bad cholesterol is too bad.” Of course it’s too bad… it’s bad cholesterol. “Bad” is in it’s name, dumbass.
I’m intrigued by the fact that you’re willing to promote JSGF in your new dynamic, magazine-like WellPages (especially since it’s no extra work for me… how well you know me, Doctor Geoff!). I would ask you if WellPages is a magazine or is just magazine-like, but I know now that you don’t do so great with questions.
So anyway, I’m about ready to switch over from the newly formed Wellsh*t BlogHealther Network to the Wellsphere HealthBlogger Network. All I need now is your personal assurance that the following demands will be met…
- Whenever I come for a visit at Wellsphere HealthBlogger Network world headquarters, I must get a private office with a small refrigerator stocked with ice-cold guava juice and I must be allowed to make as many long-distance prank phone calls as I like.
- My followers must each be given $10 and a gift certificate for a free movie rental at Blockbuster to ease their frustration during what is sure to be a difficult transition period.
- While we’re on tour, I get to ride shotgun at all times (even when I’m driving).
- Whenever you refer to me among friends, family and business associates, it must be as “Jack Sh*t, my BFF.”
- I reserve the right to “drunk blog” at least once a week.
- I’m going to need that Wellsphere HealthBlogger Network t-shirt (sized XL) ASAP.
- I also want you to sign up my good friend Poppy Love and his blog (“The Anti-Tony”) before I’ll even consider moving forward with this venture.
- The toy motorcycle for the “Jack Sh*t” action figure must include a sidecar for the optional “Pisa Sh*t” figure (if possible, please put a tree frog on Pisa’s t-shirt).
Doctor Geoff, you know that you’re a personal hero of mine, and I can’t wait to get rolling on the HealthBlogger Network. As soon as I hear back on my demands, we can start giving your readership the sh*t they want, need and truly deserve!
Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit
Proud Member of the WellSh*t BlogHealther Network