Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Sh*t House Rules

One of the great things about this weight loss adventure is that you learn so much along the way. So much about health and fitness, so much about your body, so much about yourself. These are the things that I try to keep in front of me as I make my way through the day…
  • A little bit of crap is still crap.
  • Shake your “salt it first” habit.
  • Accidents happen, but good meals are planned.
  • S-l-o-o-o-o-o-o-w down with that fork, bubba. No need to create sparks.
  • Small plate works great.
  • Drink your watah like you oughta.
  • Fresh beats canned by a country mile.
  • Fill up on fiber.
  • Make your momma proud: eat your veggies.
  • If you pack a gym pack the night before, you’re roughly 75,000% more likely to work out the next day
  • Push… your body can take it.
  • It’s a scale, not a trampoline. You don’t need to hop on it every five minutes.
  • Fresh fruit… eat some everyday.
  • Find what works and work it.
  • Sweat like you mean it.
  • Blogging every day keeps the focus on what you’re doing.
  • Don’t eat on the run.
  • The more ingredients, the less you wanna eat it.
  • This is your future; make it a big priority in your life.
  • Careful with that salad dressing; it can be a Trojan horse full of fat and calories.
  • Less chewin’, more doin’.
  • Put an ending to the vending machine.
  • Understand that your brain doesn’t always have your body’s back.
  • Say bye-bye to all the refined sugar you can.
  • Buy gas at a gas station… not food.
  • Variety is the spice of life.
  • Some people lose weight eating out a lot… you won’t.
  • Beware of BLTs (bites, licks and tastes).
  • Sometimes a free meal isn’t free at all.
  • Jogging’s better than walking, but walking’s better than nothing.
  • Just because it’s low-cal/low-fat doesn’t mean you can go crazy.
  • Get plenty of rest…this sh*t is hard work.
  • Chew on nuts (your own, not mine).
  • If you keep junk around, you’ll eat junk.
  • Work out time for exercise.
  • Why you’re eating is just as important as what you’re eating.
  • Build up your “No thanks” muscle.
  • If you just can’t do it on your own, it’s okay to seek some help.
  • Write down what you eat. Everything you eat. Read it occasionally.
  • Don’t let the world drag you down.
  • Kick yourself… in the seat of the pants.

You don’t have to follow all of these rules, but if you stick to enough of them, chances are you’ll make some good progress on your path to a fitter, better you.


  1. What a great list, I think I need to print a few of those and post them up in the house! I mean, we've heard it all, but we forget them over time. A lot of those I was like "Yeah... and yeah! Oh yeah!" So obviously, it was a well-timed post - thanks Mista!

  2. Yep, i agree with all of them :) Nice list!!

  3. Treats are tricks when it comes to weight loss.

    Great list, Jack!

  4. All great advice!

  5. Awesome advise. Thanks so much. Even though I know it, it is nice to see common sense things and read them to reiterate the importance.

  6. Great list! Some I knew, but there were some really great new ones in there as well!
    What I'm really wondering though is this. What it's going to take to have you listed as one of my regular followers Jack? Because I have managed to catch your attention with my lurid posts of really big chairs and high caloric beers, but not yet snagged your attention enough to have you as an "official" follower of my blog.
    Gotta be brutally honest here, my two remaining goals between now and my 40th birthday are 1)to be at least 5 pounds closer to my skinny jeans, 2)and you as one of my followers.
    In the mean time, thanks so much for taking the time to stop by, and for the daily inspiration!

  7. "It's a scale, not a trampoline" freakin' guilty of this, I really think The Hubs should hide it from me. :(

  8. really!
    I'm nodding as I read through this list!
    yeah and a lot of crap is still a lot of crap and there's a lot of crap out there!

  9. Another great list Jack. A few of them will be my new mantras stuck on Post-it's all over the house :D

  10. I'm with Mrs. B. but don't tell my Hubs that... cause he will! :) I'm a bit addicted to my trampoline.

    Great list Jack!

  11. PERFECT---Less chewin’, more doin’

  12. YOU ARE AMAZING! Write a book, write a sitcom or something. So creative with the truth! I do just about all of them except my nuts are in the top part of my bod.. my head!!! :-)

  13. Excellent sh*thouse rules, JackSh*t!

  14. Nice list. Your blog always brings a smile to my face. :)

  15. Awwww man, BLTs are my favorites though! ;)

  16. Chew on nuts, but soak them the night before.

    Don't be modest, you know you're going to beat me again, I HATE IT.

  17. I'm lovin' the "sweat like you mean it" rule! Seriously! You should see how much sweat oozes off of me during my workouts...IT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!! I'm actually proud of being a sweaty pool at the gym! But that means I'm kickin' some calorie butt!

  18. All sound advice. I like to sweat like I mean it, too. Who cares about being a pretty, put-together girl, after all?

  19. Absolutely. These are weight loss super truths.
    Very nice indeed.

    My best always

  20. Great list!!

    I'll have to print this out and... i'm sure itll give a chuckle or two.

  21. S-l-o-o-o-o-o-o-w down with that fork, bubba. No need to create sparks...lmao-that was funny.

  22. I imagined this being read by the voice of Michael Caine.

  23. And remember, a kick in the ass is moving forward!

  24. I was going to list all of my faves, but it ended up being the whole list. THANK YOU for the reminders...I so needed it Jack. Breaking out the post-it notes now....

  25. I sometimes don't think I'll survive a savage workout - then I do!

  26. Totally bent...I love it.
    Can we add my diet axiom...If you ain't ain't losin?

  27. Great list and so many that I have to break...groan...that "salt it first" is a biggie for me!

  28. I *love* these rules! Just printed 'em out for my office & fridge. Thanks for sharing!

  29. Ok, Mr. Sh*t, I am just catching up here and while this blog (which I haven't left for a day and a half, thank you very much!) is absolutely the best part of my losing weight, this particular message has to be the one I will take with me going forward. Well done, thank you sir.

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