Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm Sorry, Elton John...


Goodbye Normal Jeans,
Though I hardly knew you at all,
You had the grace to hold your fit
Even when you got too small.
You crawled back in the closet,
And hid up on the top shelf.
You knew it was time to go,
Though I didn't know it myself.

And it seems to me I've lived my life
In some pants that were extra wide.
Never knowing not to eat more
When the food gets fried.
And I would have like to have worn you,
But I was just too fat.
Your seams would just have ripped out
Every time I sat.

Obesity is tough,
The toughest thing you'll ever know.
My weight created an obstacle,
Every day a brand new low.
Then you called to me.
You said, "I'm waiting here for you."
And I somehow found the strength
To begin my life anew.

And it seems to me I've changed my life,
I don't have to be so wide.
Never knowing how to connect to
The healthy person inside.
And I'm proud to get to wear you
Like I used to do.
There's still a lot of wear left.
We're both practically brand new.

Hello Normal Jeans
Though it's been so very long.
You had the grace to keep yourself
Now you're back where you belong.
Hello Normal Jeans
From the man at that 225 weight.
It's nice to be wearing you again
Looking fine and feeling great.

And it seems to me that gettting fit is
Like a candle in the wind.
You can lose it in a heartbeat,
Everything can end.
But I won't let that happen this time.
I won't take that spill.
That candle will burn out long before
My persistence ever will.

60 comments:

  1. Pants off to you - uh, er, I mean HAT's off!
    Yeah, HAT - that's what I meant!

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  2. I don't think an apology is necessary at all - a very fine adaptation!

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  3. LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This is one of your best so far. hahahahahahahaha

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  4. Some of the outfits Elton John has worn...he should probably apologize to us.

    It sounds like you are starting "the brotherhood of the now fitting jeans."

    Normal jeans....one day.

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  5. You always seem to amaze me!!! Dont know why you prove everyday how special you are!!
    LOVED it as you know,Very nice to be in normal jeans again!!!
    Irene

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  6. A league of floggers are raising their lighters on and swaying in unison to this ode.

    Encore!

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  7. :) you always give me my laugh for the day!!

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  8. You're dating yourself, Camevil. You wave your cell phone now...

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  9. Yes! Let's hear it for normal jeans!! Mine are still waiting for me, ever so patiently. Soon my sweet, very soon!
    And I'm sure Elton John would be flattered by your rendition.

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  10. I was singing along with your lyrics all the way. There's nothing quite like the feeling of wearing jeans that use to not even fit one leg, let alone my waist. Totally relate. I'm very happy for you. Enjoy those normal jeans my friend! You deserve that amazing feeling!!

    My best
    Sean

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  11. ok grasshopper, you wrote the perfect blend of serious/funny! keep em' coming :)

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  12. Oh, snap! Love you, Jack!!

    And I'm not referring to the 'love you long time' kinda love. hehehe

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  13. I even shed a tear...lol GREAT POST! Yippee for NORMAL JEANS!

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  14. You rock, so very much, I loved that, hummed along all the way :-)

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  15. you are such a great writter! Another awesome entry!

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  16. I sang along too! Enjoy those Normal jeans!

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  17. Normal jeans are great. I'll never forget the time (about November of last year) that I got to wear them again. I'll never ever go back to Lane Bryant!

    Yay for normal jeans!

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  18. What I want to know is were you wearing your funky Sir Elton glasses when you composed the song? Great Post!

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  19. I see good ol' Elton occasionally (I work near where he lives) Usually he's driving like a jackass and you could go blind from the glare off his rings. Unfortunately, that song is now stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Hilarious!! P.S. thank you for being so supportive. It's nice having someone who understands "the biz" :)

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  20. Normal is not a word I would have thought you would embrace!!!

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  21. Ha! I think that cracked me up more than it should've. Very funny.

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  22. There's just something about fitting in a pair of "normal" jeans - isn't there? I'm sure your butt looks great!

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  23. Great parody. Now I have the song stuck in my head! Congratulations on reclaiming your normal jeans.

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  25. "I would've liked to have worn you, but I was just too fat"...

    bwahahahaa...Amen!

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  26. Too funny as always.... I love your blog so inspirational. :)

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  27. Seriously clever! And I love me some Elton

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  28. BEST SONG EVER!!!

    love this line.. And it seems to me I've changed my life,
    I don't have to be so wide.
    Never knowing how to connect to
    The healthy person inside.
    And I'm proud to get to wear you
    Like I used to do.

    that's what i'm dealing with right now.. connecting with my healthy self inside.

    Great one, Jack.

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  29. Awesome!!!!

    Hold me closer Tiny Jack Sh*t!

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  30. Love it...giggles for reals...I have some ultra-tiny jeans on my top shelf too. Some day!!!

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  31. I am still laughing! This one just blew me away, Jack Sh*t!

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  32. very clever.

    I love it that I never know what I'm gonna get over here!

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  33. A new pair of perfect jeans is the 'perfect' incentive. At least, for me. They're hard to find.

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  34. I didn't realize what I was reading until I read the comments...daaaa. Brilliant. My husband would like this rendition.

    How long have you been waiting to post this one?

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  35. :-) And yes, I BELIEVE you will never take that spill backwards!

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  36. Bravo! Love it! Encore!!! Encore!!! =)

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  37. LOVE it! Love your posts! Hello Normal Jeans will forever be seared in my memory

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  38. Screw the jeans. Bust out the spandex!

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  39. I was singing along with your lyrics. Loved it. Isn't it the most incredible feeling to put on a pair that once wouldn't even fit around a leg?
    You're incredible. And it's such a pleasure to follow you.

    My best always
    Sean

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  40. Haha, how do you keep coming up with these!

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  41. lol, I can play this song on piano... we should make a recording ;)

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  42. Pure excellence. I've never owned any normal jeans....well, maybe around 12 years old, but that age is a blur. I wonder what it's like? :)

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  43. Loved the song !

    You have a Lovely Blog Award waiting for you at my site. Thanks for your blog - I really enjoy reading it.

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  44. My favourite post so far. Sad to say brought a tear to my eye xxx

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  45. Great post. I think I'm still in "normal jeans" but maybe i'm in "denial jeans" i don't know.

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  46. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


    Betty

    http://electricguitarhowtoplay.net

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