Attaches to arm with rubber band instead of adjustable strap- State-of-the-art digital sundial
- When you plug it into your USB port, funny pics of kittens pop up
- Emits ear-piercing scream whenever you stop walking
- Provides sunblock protection for area of arm it covers
- GPS turn-by-turn directions to nearest Krispy Kreme
- Fold-out bottle opener
- Tracks calories burned, steps taken and other physiological parameters utilizing patented Guess-timation™ technology
- Has mp1 player that holds up to three songs.
- Button that allows you to spray mace on anyone who asks “What’s that stupid thing on your arm?”
- Built-in snooze alarm
- Secret Pez® pellet slot
Friday, June 5, 2009
Features of My New Buggy Bod (Off-Brand Body Bugg)
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You must make a living writing! You are so clever! BTW, where I can get my own Buggy Bod?!!
ReplyDeleteI want the MK2 version that has the special incorporated chasing-dog deterrant and the wobbly-butt invisibility shield.
ReplyDeletePEZ!!!! Oh my god, I soooo need this!
ReplyDelete~ Wendy
wendyweightlossjournal.blogspot.com
That is SO funny. :D
ReplyDeleteMay I make a request? How about a list of Confucious sayings about weight loss? Or weight loss fortune cookie failures?
I have a body bugg, and I must verify that it does provide spf protection on the part of your arm that you wear it on. I have a sexy stripe of white just below where my farmer's tan ends...
ReplyDeleteI agree with weight loss fortune cookie fails... that made me laugh to even think about it.
I like the mace idea - so tired of people asking me what it is, then seeing their eyes glaze over when I start to explain. I should come up with something silly like "it's a total body MP3 player" or some such nonsense.
ReplyDeleteYou must have blinked, Kelly: http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2009/05/confusht-say.html
ReplyDeleteWow-sounds like a Microsoft product....
ReplyDeleteOH, I must have blinked. Those are fantastic. My wish has been granted. :)
ReplyDeleteNow on to the fortune cookies.
Oh and I also can vouch for the SPF protection. I love my white negative tattoo around my arm. I think the next time someone asks me what it is I'll just tell them it's a bomb.
You are flippin' hysterical. I love, "Emits ear-piercing scream whenever you stop walking". How 'bout adding a long straw that taps into a few shots of tequila or a sensor that diffuses pheromones when hot men jog by. The single ladies out there might like that.
ReplyDeleteHillarious!!!! I bout fell out of my chair!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies now I have the negative tan to look forward to. Yeah!
ReplyDeleteJack you need to write a book man! You are one of the funniest quick witted people I have ever met!
Nice to hear from your serious side! Now, what the hell is that hi-tech contraption thingy?
ReplyDeleteKeep up the Awesomeness!
x T
Hey, sign me up for the one with the wobbly butt invisibility shield!
ReplyDeleteA wonderful new electronic ankle bracelet for the arm...I meant that in a good way!
ReplyDelete