Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Kn*ck Kn*ck


Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Wade
Wade who?
Wade myself this morning and gained half a stinkin’ pound.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Jack
Jack who?
Jack and see if something’s wrong with that scale.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Thanks, a handful of cashews only has 100 or so calories.

Kn*ck Kn*ck!
Who's there?
Sara.
Sara who?
Sara easier way to lose weight than diet and exercise?

Kn*ck Kn*ck.
Who’s there?
Claudette
Claudette who?
Claude et the whole pie in one sitting.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Alli.
Alli who?
Alli discharge is a side effect of that new fat pill.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
Miserable–I’m dieting. Hawaii you?

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
One shoe
One shoe who?
One shoe get me something better to eat than this fat-free cottage cheese?

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I think about dessert.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
U-boat.
U-boat who?
U-boat lost more weight than I did this week.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey really have to keep up with all these stupid points on WW?

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Gorilla.
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me some veggies… they’re low-fat and delicious.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Amsterdam.
Amsterdam, who?
Amsterdam tired of all these stupid Kn*ck Kn*ck jokes I could sh*t.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop complaining about these Kn*ck Kn*ck jokes.

Kn*ck Kn*ck
Who's there?
Rita.
Rita who?
Rita another weight loss blog if you want something that’s not so stupid.

16 comments:

  1. My MacIntosh tells knock knock jokes, but not like yours! You really are a funny, yet sensitive guy.

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  2. Something wrong with my scale this morning, too. Sirens, red flashing lights...warnings of self destruction ;)

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  3. Buddy, it's offical, you are a HOOT! Thanks for making me laugh. I can on a chuckle every time you post!

    You made my day.

    Sorry about the gain....it has to be the scales.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL @ One Shoe! :) Love it! Again and again you make me laugh Jack! Thanks!
    :) tj

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have met your knock-knock joke quota for the year in a single post ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Funny jokes! Up half a pound? Psh, the scale is having a bad day.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The scale is just messing with your mind, man. It plays tricks on us just to watch us cry. It watches you in your sleep. I wouldn't turn my back on it.

    Great knock knock jokes. I may have to use some on the family just to drive them crazy. They don't get my sense of humor. Go figure.

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  8. I thought the asterisks were just for bad words?

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  9. sorry for the gain but *knock* it away next week

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  10. Great knock knock jokes, sorry you had a gain. I'm sure it will be better next week.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I didn't really have a gain (that I know of). Stepping on the scale just once a week is enough torture for me.

    And yeah, Dina, asterisks are usually reserved for profanity, but I wanted some way to differentiate my kn*ck kn*ck jokes from regular knock knock jokes. Or else I'm just f*cked up in the head. Take your pick.

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  12. I've figured it out...birthdays make you gain weight...it doesn't even have to be your birthday...just being near someone else having a birthday will do the trick!

    ReplyDelete
  13. OH my gosh I stumbled upon your blog.. and glad I was here at the office alone .. this is hysterical.. will be back often.. thanks for making a hard road.. a little bit more smooth!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You made me smile tonight...again. Alli was my favorite.

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  15. They were all my favorite!

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  16. You are too, too funny. Love it! Wish I had that gift.

    ReplyDelete

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