Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Even More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

Seeing as I spend a good deal of time at the gym, I'm always trying to strike up a conversation with the person working out beside me. I don't know why it fails more often than not...
  • “Dude, you look like one of those weightlifter dudes.”
  • “Can I borrow your iPod for a while?”
  • “I’m training for a 401-K.”
  • “I can do 500 sit-ups. Well, not all at one time…”
  • “Did you know that humans produce about 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime?”
  • “Do you know if this treadmill goes backwards?”
  • “I got kicked out of my last gym. Excessive yodeling.”
  • “Pork rind?”
  • “Excuse me, do you know of any personal trainers that don’t mind being paid in yarn?”
  • “Sorry, I thought two people could do this machine at the same time.”
  • “You’re a regular Sweaty Betty, aren’t you?”
  • “Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”
  • “Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?”
  • “Did somebody poot?”
  • “Excuse me. I'm from the FBI…the Fine Body Investigators… and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.”
  • “I work in the beverage industry, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: Gatorade and Kool-Aid are exactly the same drink. Exactly!”
  • “They say Hitler loved his elliptical machine.”
  • “Y’know, Dina pees in the shower.”
  • “I’m exercising my mind right now, thank you very much.”
  • “Race ya. Yeah, I realize they’re stationary bikes; it was just a conversation starter I read on some stupid blog.”


  1. You comment on my blog today made my lol! Thanks, I needed that!

  2. LOL "Do I come here often?" Love it. :) And the training for the 401-K. Very clever, sir.

  3. Dina is one nasty girl! lol


  4. I can't believe those haven't worked for you! *grin*

  5. Awesome list. You never fail to make me smile and you often make me laugh out loud and that's not an easy thing to do. I'm very selective to what really makes me laugh out loud genuinely. If the boss tells a joke, I'll laugh even if it's not funny. If a friend tells a lame joke I'll pretend to laugh to avoid hurting their feelings...But you Mr. Jack Sh*t, you sir get straight to it...making me laugh out loud!! Feels so wonderful to do that. Thank you for the wonderful service your blog provides me everyday. I hope a reputable publisher discovers the potential value in your writings. This is A-list stuff, always is.

    And way to go on your journey thus far!

    Wow...I've almost sounded like a stalker of sorts.

    Your biggest fan xxoo

    Sean Anderson
    The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser

  6. Lol at the FBI - I have horrible images in my head now of which position exactly they might be requesting someone to assume ....

  7. Love the exercising my mind one! So funny!

  8. OMG, all my favorites today!

    When I was little mom used the word poot instead of fart. That made me smile because I had forgotten that word.

  9. Another awesome post! My fave this time was the 401K. Laughed my ass off...thanks for that!

    Dina is right...everyone does. Don't deny it folks. Even if it is dirty.

  10. I am actually taking notes so I can try these out in the gym today..I always did like shocking people :D

    Thanks for the laughs!

  11. It was the excessive yodelling that made me laugh! LOL. Seriously - you should write for a slimming/fitness magazine (or maybe a knitting one, I dunno).

  12. try this one ... "I don't know why everyone is so concerned about me having Swine Flu, it's my head lice that is really bothering me"

  13. “Pork rind?” Hahahahahahaha!
    Saturday I was at the gym and as I checked in there was a festively plump gal behind me on one of the benches just going to town on a fried chicken basket from Chicken Express. Oh the irony.

  14. Dina's right, everyone does it. I liked the FBI comment too, but I'm a pervert like that.

  15. That's funny! I should use one of those sometime!

  16. Hahaha! My favorite "Sorry, I thought two people could use this at a time" and the yummy pork rind offer :)

  17. "Pork rind?" LOL! Maybe you just need to flex a little while saying these.

  18. How to chose a favorite one??? I'm sitting here at work trying to stiffle my laughter!

  19. I can't believe those are not all winners for ya!! Must be the delivery.

    Altho' I must say there were a couple that sounded a little like Ray (the little kid) in "Jerry Maguire".

    Don't dispair, I'm sure one will work for you soon. :)

  20. So your that guy that always seems to get on the treadmill next to me lol.

  21. I wish I didn't work out in a home gym!

  22. thanks for the laughs.. certainly needed them for a tuesday !!! I think I might try those the next time I am at the gym..

  23. Dirty dog that. Sorry, dude! I tried to click and look at that sh*t. I was TRYING to tell you that I mentioned you on my blog today.

  24. My husband's best line when asked what his middle initial (A.) stood for - Apollo. Feel free to use it.

  25. One of your best lists, for sure!

  26. LOL at “Sorry, I thought two people could do this machine at the same time.” Great list. Too funny.

  27. I need to visit here everyday!!! You are totally hilarious and I haven't laughed this hard for ages!!! Thanks!!

  28. "Did somebody poot?"

    Hell yes they probably did. I even have a blog post about this very subject.



  29. I wish you came to my gym! Would brighten it up no end :D

    As usual another rib tickling post! *contented sigh*

  30. Well, this page is a hoot 'n' a half!!
    I was laughing out loud for real. Thanks, I shall become a follower and have a daily dose of Jack !

  31. I think I'll try one of these lines at the gym. Maybe I'll find a husband. At this point I'm willing to try anything. LOL at myself. It's really not funny.

  32. If ya pulled the Grey Poupon one on me I probably would have fallen off my treadmil laughing. Guess you just gotta find the right people to use those lines on



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