Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Ways Losing Weight is Like Childbirth

  • Lots of screaming, crying and cussing along the way.
  • It’s a process that feels like is never going to end.
  • There’s a voice telling you “Push! Push!”
  • Doctors think they have all the answers, but people have been doing it without them for centuries.
  • You’ll soon have a bunch of clothes that are too big for you.
  • There are a million books on the subject.
  • It was more fun to get in the situation you’re in than to get out of it.
  • Spouse thinks they know what you’re going through but they don’t.
  • It helps if you’ve got someone there to lend you support.
  • Drugs are optional.
  • If you’re healthy, there’s no reason you can’t do it.
  • There’s quite a bit of labor involved.
  • It’s probably the most important thing you’ll ever do.
  • It’s hard to explain to your kids.
  • It’s a real pain in the bottom.
  • If all goes well, a brand new life emerges.

22 comments:

  1. Jack,
    Thanks for the many laughs you bring me! Always appreciated!!!

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  2. Love your blog!

    Thank you for the encouraging words on mine Mr. Sh*t!
    I've been looking through your post and reading and laughing and agreeing! Congratulations on your success so far!

    Take care,

    Sean Anderson
    The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser
    www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com

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  3. Brillant!!

    BTW,I passed along the really sh*tty blog award today.

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  4. Wonderful, thoughful post! thanks.

    My mother told me that labor was like a toothache....you know it's not going to last forever....OH, and it hurts like hell!

    My fave was the one where you said it's the most important thing you'll do. I AGREE! And the one the hardest.

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  5. HA! My mom has made the comparison before as well. :)

    I love this one: It was more fun to get in the situation you’re in than to get out of it.


    Dude, are you a writer for a living?

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  6. Great list as always!!! How are you doing though? Don't think you're giving birth unless there's something you haven't told us lol.

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  7. Kelly, I'm a Jack-Sh*t-Of-All-Trades.

    My wife Anita told me that as her pregnancy progessed, more and more people smiled at her. I told her that's because she was fatter than they were.

    Yeah, I spend a lot of time in the doghouse.

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  8. Funny list! Just wanted to add that the brand new life emerging will need to be put on hold for the next 21 years in real life - at best.

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  9. hehe... many chuckles from this post

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  10. Soo true. Your lists are always funny.

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  11. ANOTHER great one!

    You always make my day.

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  12. Oh, no! Will I have to shave my hoo-hoo and endure sore nipples again?

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  13. OHGOSH I'm just hysterical! Read your profile "song" and I'm having kittens! (Hey, maybe I'll drop a few lbs. when I'm done with the birth process.) Had to sign up to follow. You're a riot. Caught your comment on 45+ and aspiring....Now I'll forever picture you in that outfit. Drop on by anytime. :)

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  14. Spouse thinks they know what you’re going through but they don’t.

    Sooo true.

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  15. "Lots of screaming, crying and cussing along the way." ... And how!

    Thanks for the compliment on the new 'do!

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  16. Jack, Jack, Jack...You are a true inspiration. I look forward to reading your blog every day. Blog, Jack, Blog!

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  17. You are always so clever! Love it!

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  18. that birth weight varies from 2-lb babies to over 100-lb babies. YIKES!!

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