Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Jack Fish, Sh*t Fish,

Jack fish,
Sh*t fish,
Fat fish, fit fish,

Large fish, obese fish,
Time-for-this-to-cease fish.

This one has a lot of mass.

This one has a giant ass.

Say! These fish need to change things fast.

Yes. Some are fitter, and some just starting.
Some count cals and some are charting.

Some are sad, and some are glad,

And some are very, very bad.

Why are they sad and glad and bad?
Cuz of the weigh-ins they just had.

Some are fat, and some are fatter.

All are climbing the same ladder.

From there to here,

From here to there,

We weight losers are everywhere.

Here are some who like to run.

They run for fun in the hot, hot sun.

Oh me! Oh my! Oh my! Oh me!

What a running potpourri! 

Some run kilometers and some run miles.

Some with grimaces, some with smiles.

They don their shoes most every day.

And then they run a long, long way.

Some are fast. Some are slow.
(The slow ones pass me, don’t you know?) 

Not one of them is like another.

But still they run a little futher.

Say! Look at his lunges!

One, two, three...

How many lunges do I see?

One, two, three, four,

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

He did eleven!

Eleven! That is something new.

I wish I had done eleven, too!




Do you ever ride a Bike?
Do you know how good riding feels?

I have a unicycle that has two wheels!

And I know a man named Mister Pike.

Mr. Pike has a really expensive bike.
So... if you’re rich and if you like
You can hike on a bike like Mister Pike.

Who am I? My name is Jack
I used to drink beer by the pack.

This is no good for staying svelte.

My gut stuck out beyond my belt.

And when I sucked it in,
Oh, Dear!

It made me drink another beer!

Hello there, Jack.
How do you do?

Tell me, tell me what is new?

How are things on your little diet?

What is new? Please don’t keep quiet!

I do not like this diet a bit.

I cannot eat a banana split!

Fruits, veggies, whole wheat grain
Oh! What a plan! Oh! What a pain!

Oh bleep, oh bleep! I cannot sleep.

I’ve counted seven million sheep.

I drank a quart of chamomile tea.

And still there is no Z's for me.

Say look! Perhaps you could try to wean
Yourself off all of that caffeine
Which comes from all that coffee'n.

I ate a plum, my blog is dumb.

I like to chew sugar-free gum.

I did a run, my workout’s done.

My workout’s done, I did a run.

I like to chew sugar-free gum.

My blog is dumb, I ate a plum.

And now my story’s told, old chum.

Went to the gym. I look a swim.

In the next lane a dude called Jim.
Working out with lots of vim.
Churning water with his limb.
Looking very fit and trim.

Why can’t I do this more like him?

I do not like this one so well.

Walks the treadmill on her cell.
Working out with some frustration
Trying to ignore her conversation.
It’s hard to find your workout zone
When fools are yakking on the phone.

At our house we eat some fruit.

We like to eat a lot of fruit.

To look good in our birthday suit.

Eating fruit is very good.

Fill your snoot with fruit? You should.

I like to tweet. How I like to tweet.

So every day I tweet what I eat.

Wheats or meats, I tweet my eats.

My tweets on eats just can’t be beat.

Did you ever hike to a mountaintop?

Did you ever dance ‘til you were about to drop?
Have you made a life improvement plan?

Well, you can do it. You know you can.

If you haven’t, you should hasten.

These things take time, and time’s a’wastin’.

Hello, hello. Are you there?

I called you up to say hello.

Can you call back?

Can you hear me, Jack?

Oh no, I cannot hear your call.

I cannot hear your call at all.

This is not good, and I know why.

I’m on the treadmill at the gym, goodbye!

And now, so long…
I’m off to jog.
Then I will log this on my blog. 

Today is gone. This post was fun.

Tomorrow is another one…

Remember: every day,
From here to there.

Healthy things are everywhere.

Cutting back on the green eggs and ham...


  1. You are rocking it Jack!!!! I wrote about choices today & you are making the choices to get you healthy & are doing great!

  2. Love love love this! And look at that scale!!

  3. This is hilarious. So clever! Made my morning.

  4. you are a freaking mad scientist! the crazy-genius kind.

    1. I'm not a mad scientist; I'M AN ANGRY SCIENTIST! GRRRR!

  5. I have a new word coffee'n. Although I'm confused why it was preceded by 'wean'. ;)

  6. Dailey Scaley is under attack! Show No Mercy, eat No Cheez Whiz!!


    loveloveloved this when I read on phone.

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.



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