Friday, May 21, 2010

Things You’d Like to Say at Your Weight Watchers Meeting

  • “Weight Watcher’s frozen pizza is delicious… if you like fake-cheesy cardboard.”
  • “This is what I get for losing 25 pounds? I’ve won better stuff playing Skee-Ball.”
  • “I believe that scale needs to be re-calibrated and I should know because I’m a full-time scale calibration technician.”
  • “Dip my fork in salad dressing? Lady, that’s just crazy-talk.”
  • “Is there a Weight Watchers iPhone app that shocks you when you try to eat pie?”
  • “Yes, that’s a five-pound gain, but I have a good excuse: there was a weekend in there.”
  • “A Big Mac only has fourteen points? Let’s ride!”
  • “That’s right… this week I’ll be using my ‘Get Out of Weigh-In Free’ Card.”
  • “I suppose it’s just a coincidence that “leader” rhymes with “eater.”
  • “We’re watching a movie at this week’s meeting: ‘Diethard with a Vengeance.’”
  • “Weight Watchers yogurt is fantastic… for grouting tile.”
  • “I can’t have gained weight! I haven’t eaten in 96 hours…”
  • “Order a pizza with no cheese? What kind of sick maniac are you?”
  • “No, I didn’t track all my points, but I did DVR every episode of ‘Top Chef’.”
  • “DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? EVERYTHING’S SO DAMN DELICIOUS!”
  • “My family really let me down. They just sat there and watched me eat that can of Crisco.”
  • “I just don’t think “rice cakes” should be allowed to use the word ‘cake’ in their name.”
  • “Let’s ditch this bitch and go get some ice cream.”

33 comments:

  1. All of these are hilarious! I especially love the one about eating a can of Crisco...yuck!
    Have a great day Jack :)

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  2. Highlight. Of my. Day. You are truly a humor genius.

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  3. OMG! Sadly, I could have sat in a meeting and thought exactly the same thoughts! That's the reason I've avoided WW meetings! Thank you for the honesty and the laughs :)

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  4. I love WW: the program, not so much the meetings, or the products: Doing it on my own without the "cardboard pizza" and losing, I hate it when people automatically thing WW equals eating the tile grout (yogurt) and the other products,

    they start talking to me assuming I eat all WW products

    NO NO really you can eat REAL food: sigh they just won't listen :/

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  5. HEY!!!! By my calculations a Big Mac has only 13 points! :-D See these are some of the reasons I do online only! hehe have a great weekend Jack!

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  6. LOVE THIS! Marking for next weeks link post. :)

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  7. “No, I didn’t track all my points, but I did DVR every episode of ‘Top Chef’.”

    Hilarious. Love it!

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  8. You are so damn good Jack. The breadth of your humor and creativity truly dazzles. So glad you're here in blogland. BTW, leader/eater and "let's ride" really did me in.

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  9. This made my morning - you're a riot...

    And I agree on the rice cakes thing.

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  10. LOL...Been there and thought that! Love it.

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  11. HAHA! There are a few of these that I REALLY would like to stand up and say at my weekly WW meeting- SO FUNNY! :) Thanks for the AM chuckles Jack! :)

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  12. I want to print this off and bring it to a meeting. :)

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  13. Or "yes, I DID eat 3 packages of WW ice cream bars in one day but I stayed within my points!"

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  14. These are too funny! But I do have to say, I would have never been able to lose my weight w/o my WW meetings. My leader ROCKS. Even though she is a little cheesy sometimes.

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  15. How about "Did someone order a pizza?"

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  16. LOL I love it...I also love my meetings of course! :)

    My favorite is “I just don’t think “rice cakes” should be allowed to use the word ‘cake’ in their name.” :)

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  17. lol, most diet pizza tastes like cardboard. I would rather eat one decent slice than a whole buttload of fake.
    rice cakes shouldn't be allowed, period.

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  18. Ok, I'm stil lmao at the comment you put on Tricia's blog...internal organs Jack?? lol!!!rotfl! Now, how ya gonna dig yourself outta the hole if she actually goes along with it? ;) I love the list...it made me laugh even more.

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  19. Love. Love. Love. "Let's ditch this bitch and go get some ice cream" is, by far, my favorite.

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  20. All great things to say at a WW meeting. Number three is one of my favorites...

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  21. lmao funny. I'd give anything to have an app shock me everytime I try to eat something bad for me. I'd glue it to my forehead. Really.

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  22. “I just don’t think “rice cakes” should be allowed to use the word ‘cake’ in their name.”

    LOL! That is too true. Worst diet food ever. In fact, all of those were hilarious.

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  23. Oh my gosh...too friggin funny! Found your site via ronisweigh dot com.

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  24. Roni sent me, too. The comment on rice cakes is my favorite.

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  25. I am a WW LEADER(eater) whatever hehe....and I got a kick out of this because, like my members, I was a member, too! I think you should come to one of my meetings!!! :)

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  26. Everything IS so damn DELICIOUS!

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  27. LOL. Thanks for the laugh. Those were great!

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  28. I am a WW leader and I wish members would say all of the this stuff. It would help dispell alot of rumors and set the record straight. WW is a support group and a healthy food plan that you can follow one of many ways to suit your likes while staying in control. BTW, not all of us are "eater" leaders but we are members too and always working on ourselves while maintaining our weight.

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