Friday, May 28, 2010

My Birthday Survival Plan

  • Don’t eat my age in waffles for breakfast
  • Call in “old” at work
  • Rue all the mistakes I’ve made in my life
  • Update "to-do" list with new mistakes
  • Celebrate my B25K completion this year (“Birth to 5K”)
  • Only track 1 out of every 10 calories I consume today
  • Sell whatever present my mom gets me on ebay
  • Say my prayers and take my vitamins like professional wrestler Hulk Hogan said I should
  • Work out in my birthday suit
  • Take a big bowl of fat-free ice cream, flush it down the toilet and enjoy a bowl of the good stuff
  • Drag out a pair of fat pants and thank heaven they no longer fit
  • Use my “Get Out of One Workout Free” card
  • “Afternoon delight,” if you know what I mean (yes, I mean a nap)
  • Drink plenty of water… among other beverages
  • Get 100 comments on my birthday post (*hint hint*)
  • Strip karaoke
  • Keep trying to convince myself that age is just a number
  • Eat healthy, eat less, exercise... starting tomorrow
  • Don’t even bother making a wish before blowing out the candles; they’ve all already come true

110 comments:

  1. ♫♪♫♬
    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday to Jack Sh*t!

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  2. Oh man. You could shoot for the moon, and you only go for 100? We can get you up to a lot higher than that...

    ...enjoy your good stuff ice cream. Not many people can say they've already gotten their wishes! Bappy Hirthday.

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  3. LOL! Sounds like a plan to me! Happy Birthday, Jack! Thanks for brightening my days:)

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  4. They say it's your birthday (da da da da!). Let THEM eat cake - you stay on the straight and narrow. OK, you can have a piece of cake. Happy Happy Joy Joy Mr. Sh*t!

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  5. Happy happy happy birthday, Jack!!! I know I'M awfully glad you were born :)

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  6. Call in "old" to work, that's funny! Happy birthday....and many more!

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  7. I think I'm Comment #5 (only 95 left to go)
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I know you'll make it an amazing one!

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  8. Happy birthday, good sir.

    Might I recommend that while you're saying your prayers and taking your vitamins... I want you to start every reply to a sentence with "Well you know something, Mean Gene!"

    If you throw in a "WHATCHAGONNADO?" then I will start building your shrine immediately.

    Have a good one!

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  9. I kinda figured you always work out in your birthday suit...guess I was wrong! Enjoy it today :)

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  10. Anne has such a lovely voice, doesn't she?

    ♬♬Happy Birthday dear Jack.. Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuu ♬♬

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  11. Anne has such a lovely voice, doesn't she?

    ♬♬Happy Birthday dear Jack.. Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuu ♬♬

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  12. You are my inspiration and you always put me in a good mood. When I reach my goal I will do my own version of strip karaoke. Have a wonderful birthday.

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  13. Yep! I can take a hint! ENJOY your day whatever ways you WANT!

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  14. Strip Karoake? Hmmmmm....

    Happy Birthday my crazy blogging friend!! I hope it's fabulous :)

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  15. Careful now with that "Work out in my birthday suit" part of the plan. Hopefully you aren't working out on one of those home gym systems with all the cables and pulleys.

    Been on Blogger a bit more than a month, discovered your site yesterday, love it. Sent you a note card this morning.

    Happy Birthday!

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  16. Happy Birthday! Post number 18 on the way to 100 for today. Enjoy your day!

    Maria

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  17. Is it you birthday my friend - well Happy Birthday! This last year you have done amazing things and my wish for you is for this to be your year!
    All the best to you Jack.

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  18. Happy Birthday! Make sure it eat your cake.

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  19. HB! Strip karaoke sounds horrific and terrifying. You've had a pretty damn successful year and helped a zillion people. We salute and thank you!

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  20. Happy birthday, Jack! I hope it's a great one! Fun list you have there! :)

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  21. Have an awesome birthday Jack! You deserve it, and thanks for all the inspiration.

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  22. Happy Birthday. Who knew Hulk Hogan gave health advice? What's next family counseling?

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  23. Happy, Happy, Happy birthday to the man who makes me laugh almost daily! :)

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  24. Happy Birthday and enjoy your day!

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  25. Happy Birthday Jack!! Hope it's a great one cause you definitely deserve it! =)

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  26. woohooo! happy birthday!! here's to another healthy year for ya!

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  27. Happy birthday to you!! I had mine last week and celebrated with four flavors of gelato. Yum. Back on the diet the next meal.

    Have a great day and fabulous year.

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  28. Age IS just a number. But remember, like Mama always said: act your age, not your shoe size.

    Enjoy you special day. Here that? The angels are singing. Bless you Jack.

    Love,
    Jill

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  29. happy birthday! i wonder if you look more forward to them (birthdays, i mean) since you took charge of your health?

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  30. Call in "old" at work?? Ha ha ahahahaha! I am soooooooo stealing that one. Happy Birthday!!!

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  31. Whatever comment # I am, I'm wishing you the happiest birthday EVER!

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  32. Happy Birthday!

    Damn. Now I want cake.

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  33. Mmmm. Caaaaake. I mean... Happy Birthday?

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  34. Strip Karaoke, that i'd like to see ;p

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  35. "Update to-do list with more mistakes" I LIKE it! Fun post - happy birthday!

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  36. What would you be singing when you do strip karaoke?

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  37. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :)

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  38. Happy Birthday!! Eat and enjoy your day!

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  39. Happy new birthday suit to you :-)

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  40. Happy Birthday! May this year be the best yet!

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  41. Your Birthday suit sounds fancy. Any plans to wear it out on the town?

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!

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  42. Happy birthday to you!
    and many more!!

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  43. Happy Birthday to you!
    Happy Birthday to you!
    You look like a monkey,
    And you smell like one too!!

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  44. Now that is some Birthday wishes!!!!! Happy Birthday Jack, can't wait till next year!!! Have a terrific one!!!!

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  45. Happy Birthday! I just discovered your site from the anti-jared. love it!

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  46. Happy Birthday!!! And I'd like the official rules to strip karaoke, please.

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  47. Happy Birthday!!

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  48. Here is your Birthday song,
    it isn't very long....

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  49. Awww, HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friend! You gonna show us how you look in your birthday suit?

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  50. "Don’t even bother making a wish before blowing out the candles; they’ve all already come true" This could be my favorite quote! So beautiful and I know it's your birthday but it made me smile the biggest smile ever :))

    HAPPY BIRTDAY the man who had his every wish already came true ♥

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  51. I love the not making a wish one. Have a very Happy Birthday.

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  52. Love it!

    "Drag out a pair of fat pants and thank heaven they no longer fit"

    I'll be celebrating mine in a couple of weeks...

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  53. I love your last one! Have the best bday ever! You deserve it!

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  54. I'm so NOT helping you get 100 comments on your birthday post.

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  55. ♬♬Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Jack, Happy Birthday to you!!!♬♬

    Yay to all your wishes coming true!!!

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  56. In the immortal words of Frosty The Snowman...


    "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

    -jafg

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  57. Happy Birthday Jack!!! Hope it's Purrrrrrfect!!!

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  58. have a great bday and an even better year. here's to health!

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  59. Happy birthday Jack. I'm sure you'll make it great.

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  60. Happy Birthday in your new birthday suit ;)

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  61. Happy Birthday from New Zealand. It's Saturday, why are you talking about work? Oops is there something like a dateline between thee and me.

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  62. Happy Birthday Jack! Hope your day is as haooy as your blog make me!

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  63. Happy Birthday, buddy! Hope you are having a great day!

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  64. Happy Birthday! What a great post! You are blessed with all your followers!

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  65. Dude, you so underestimate us!

    Happy birthday, and congratulations that your wishes have already come true!

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  66. Happy Birthday! :) Birthdays are for doing whatever the hell you want and returning to normal life tomorrow. Hope you have a great one!

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  67. Happy Birthday fellow
    Gemini... Mines on Monday... everyone should take the day off and help me celebrate!

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  68. happiest of birthdays to you!!

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  69. Happiest of birthdays to you, Mr. Sh*t!

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  70. It's your birthday too!?! You're like my much much much older twin. Haha I'm just giving you sh*t.

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  71. it's not my birthday tomorrow but I have been contemplating calling in 'old' myself. LOL

    Happy Birthday Jack!!

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  72. Long time reader, first time poster, b/c HEY, I think I'm #100. :) Love your blog - Happy Birthday!

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  73. Happy! Happy! I think I'll follow those rules, too. :)

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  74. Here's one hundred three..unless someone else gets in under the wire. I am all for calling in old at work and flushing the fat free ice cream.
    Happy Birthday Jack.

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  75. Holy crap, are you even going to get through all of these comments to see me down there?

    Happy birthday Jack.

    I hope you got some good sh*t!

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  76. Happy Birthday, Jack! That part about the ice cream made me laugh out loud.

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  77. Happy Birthday, Jack. And many more... Thank you for sharing what's on your kooky mind every day.
    - Lori H.

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  78. oh go on then, I can take a hint!

    HAPPY BURPDAY JACK!!!

    did you know that Birthday calories don't count? and if you eat with your eyes closed they doubly don't count :-)

    x

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  79. Sounds like a good plan!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

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  80. I, for one, am DEFINITELY celebrating your birth. Where would we be without our biggest cheerleader & fan? :) Big hugs on your birthday Jack! :)

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  81. Much lurve to you on your birthday weekend. Cheers!

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