Tomorrow's
my birthday, so if you're planning on throwing me a surprise party (and
I'm not saying that you SHOULD be planning on throwing me a surprise
party because I hate surprise parties), but if you ARE thinking about
throwing me a surprise party, you'd better get going. YOU'RE RUNNING OUT
OF TIME!Anyway, I'm too busy practicing looking surprised in the mirror to actually write something new, so here's my to-do list from my last birthday, which I'm planning on following through on again...
- Don’t eat my age in waffles for breakfast
- Call in “old” at work
- Rue all the mistakes I’ve made in my life
- Update "to-do" list with new mistakes
- Celebrate my B25K completion this year (“Birth to 5K”)
- Only track 1 out of every 10 calories I consume today
- Sell whatever present my mom gets me on ebay
- Say my prayers and take my vitamins like professional wrestler Hulk Hogan said I should
- Work out in my birthday suit
- Take a big bowl of fat-free ice cream, flush it down the toilet and enjoy a bowl of the good stuff
- Drag out a pair of fat pants and thank heaven they no longer fit
- Use my “Get Out of One Workout Free” card
- “Afternoon delight,” if you know what I mean (yes, I mean a nap)
- Drink plenty of water… among other beverages
- Get 100 comments on my birthday post (*hint hint*)
- Strip karaoke
- Keep trying to convince myself that age is just a number
- Eat healthy, eat less, exercise... starting tomorrow
- Don’t even bother making a wish before blowing out the candles; they’ve all already come true
THE DAILY SCALEY
What? You gotta problem with that?
