Sunday, May 27, 2012

My Birthday Survival Plan

Tomorrow's my birthday, so if you're planning on throwing me a surprise party (and I'm not saying that you SHOULD be planning on throwing me a surprise party because I hate surprise parties), but if you ARE thinking about throwing me a surprise party, you'd better get going. YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Anyway, I'm too busy practicing looking surprised in the mirror to actually write something new, so here's my to-do list from my last birthday, which I'm planning on following through on again...
  • Don’t eat my age in waffles for breakfast
  • Call in “old” at work
  • Rue all the mistakes I’ve made in my life
  • Update "to-do" list with new mistakes
  • Celebrate my B25K completion this year (“Birth to 5K”)
  • Only track 1 out of every 10 calories I consume today
  • Sell whatever present my mom gets me on ebay
  • Say my prayers and take my vitamins like professional wrestler Hulk Hogan said I should
  • Work out in my birthday suit
  • Take a big bowl of fat-free ice cream, flush it down the toilet and enjoy a bowl of the good stuff
  • Drag out a pair of fat pants and thank heaven they no longer fit
  • Use my “Get Out of One Workout Free” card
  • “Afternoon delight,” if you know what I mean (yes, I mean a nap)
  • Drink plenty of water… among other beverages
  • Get 100 comments on my birthday post (*hint hint*)
  • Strip karaoke
  • Keep trying to convince myself that age is just a number
  • Eat healthy, eat less, exercise... starting tomorrow
  • Don’t even bother making a wish before blowing out the candles; they’ve all already come true

THE DAILY SCALEY
What? You gotta problem with that?

19 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday!!! Onward and safe travels this year. You are 99 steps closer to one of your wishes

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  2. Oh a fellow Gemini... Double Trouble! Happy Birthday!

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  3. laughed out loud, again...it was the ice cream / fat pants points. I can admit to doing one of those...Happy birthday.

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  4. Its a GREAT DAY JACK ! ! ! !

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  5. Like the afternoon delight & trying to convince ourselves that age is just a number! ;-)

    Happy early bday!

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  6. You shouldn't track one out of every 10 calories today. You shouldn't count ANY. Happy Birthday (you're 29, right>). Me, too.

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  7. Happy Birthday! I see that you convinced the government to make it a national holiday!

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  8. Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

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  9. Another year WISER !!!!!

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  10. Happy Birthday Jack Sh*t!

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  11. LOL! I love your To Do list! Well, except the one about selling your mom's gifts on ebay! Awwww...:)

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  12. Like the 'tude, but let me warn you - f the scale and the scale is likely to f you back! Hope it was a really happy birthday!

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  13. hope it was a fantastic FAMILY FILLED day.

    Carla

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