Sunday, May 27, 2012

My Birthday Survival Plan

Tomorrow's my birthday, so if you're planning on throwing me a surprise party (and I'm not saying that you SHOULD be planning on throwing me a surprise party because I hate surprise parties), but if you ARE thinking about throwing me a surprise party, you'd better get going. YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Anyway, I'm too busy practicing looking surprised in the mirror to actually write something new, so here's my to-do list from my last birthday, which I'm planning on following through on again...
  • Don’t eat my age in waffles for breakfast
  • Call in “old” at work
  • Rue all the mistakes I’ve made in my life
  • Update "to-do" list with new mistakes
  • Celebrate my B25K completion this year (“Birth to 5K”)
  • Only track 1 out of every 10 calories I consume today
  • Sell whatever present my mom gets me on ebay
  • Say my prayers and take my vitamins like professional wrestler Hulk Hogan said I should
  • Work out in my birthday suit
  • Take a big bowl of fat-free ice cream, flush it down the toilet and enjoy a bowl of the good stuff
  • Drag out a pair of fat pants and thank heaven they no longer fit
  • Use my “Get Out of One Workout Free” card
  • “Afternoon delight,” if you know what I mean (yes, I mean a nap)
  • Drink plenty of water… among other beverages
  • Get 100 comments on my birthday post (*hint hint*)
  • Strip karaoke
  • Keep trying to convince myself that age is just a number
  • Eat healthy, eat less, exercise... starting tomorrow
  • Don’t even bother making a wish before blowing out the candles; they’ve all already come true

What? You gotta problem with that?


  1. Happy Birthday!!! Onward and safe travels this year. You are 99 steps closer to one of your wishes

  2. Oh a fellow Gemini... Double Trouble! Happy Birthday!

  3. laughed out loud, was the ice cream / fat pants points. I can admit to doing one of those...Happy birthday.

  4. Its a GREAT DAY JACK ! ! ! !

  5. Like the afternoon delight & trying to convince ourselves that age is just a number! ;-)

    Happy early bday!

  6. You shouldn't track one out of every 10 calories today. You shouldn't count ANY. Happy Birthday (you're 29, right>). Me, too.

  7. Happy Birthday! I see that you convinced the government to make it a national holiday!

  8. Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

  9. Another year WISER !!!!!

  10. Happy Birthday Jack Sh*t!

  11. LOL! I love your To Do list! Well, except the one about selling your mom's gifts on ebay! Awwww...:)

  12. Like the 'tude, but let me warn you - f the scale and the scale is likely to f you back! Hope it was a really happy birthday!

  13. hope it was a fantastic FAMILY FILLED day.




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