• "Whatever you do, never hire a personal trainer who doesn't have a torso."
• "I'm pretty sure that guy on the rowing machine used to be a professional rower."
• "Do you think if a treadmill track was covered with sandpaper it would feel like you were walking on the beach?"
• "Let me know if I start belting out show tunes too loudly."
• "I don't get it; I did 20 minutes on the stationary treadmill and never broke a sweat."
• "I bet you can't guess what's in my water bottle. I'll give you a hint: most people consider it a condiment."
• "Don't you love the way spandex makes your gluteus feel less maximus?"
• "When I first started working out, I couldn't lift 10 pounds... and now I can."
• "Call me crazy, but I think if something's called a 'kettle bell' you should either be able to ring it or make tea with it."
THE DAILY SCALEY
Weekends are my waterloo.