Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm Sorry, Killers

I was stuck in a cage,
And I was feeling too fat.
Hadta hadta lose weight.
‘Cuz I couldn’t live like that
It started out with a vow.
How did I end up so big?
Started out with a vow, I would change it all now.

Now I'm waking right up,
And I’m hitting the gym.
Where I have a workout,
Some days taking a swim.

Now I’m going to bed,
And my stomach is empty.
But it’s all in my head,
Hadda good dinner, you see.
Success now.
I am weighing less now.
Watch me go.

And I just won’t quit – pride’s filling me.
I’m taking control…
Obesity, turning kids into fatties.
Pants givin’ our thighs a squeeze.
Choking down more cheddar cheese.
Eating less is the price I pay.
Density is going down.
Disappear before our very eyes…
Become Mr/Mrs Diet-Right.

Now I’m out of my cage,
And I've been doing just fine.
Scale is still dropping down,
Because I want it all.
It started out with a vow.
To believe it’d end up like this…
Up out of the abyss, to make a new life exist.
Now I'm feeling okay,
Actually I’m feeling real strong.
And I look pretty good,
When I’m wearing a thong.

Now I’m out for a run,
And my stomach is sick.
And I feel like my lungs
Are busting out of my chest.
I'm my best now
There's no need to rest now
Here I go...

Now I’m off the hook - it's thrilling me.
I’m taking control…
Obesity, turning hope into pity.
Can’t let that happen to me.
A new day now will set us free
It all can change today,Destinies change everyday.
Open up your eager eyes…
Become Mr/Mrs Diet-Right.

Never... give up!


  1. You had me until the thong part...

    No man should ever wear a thong.


  2. the Thong part made me spew coffee. My Mac thanks you.

  3. You are definitely the diet world's Weird Al! (That is a huge compliment btw.) And I agree with the comments about the thong. That is an image that is now permanently burned into my brain. Thank you.

  4. This is just the pick me up I needed this morning!

  5. Hey, a song I actually know :). Good one Jack.

  6. One of my favorite songs in the world - awesome lyrics you've done there. Really did the song justice, as well as making me laugh my ass off. :)

  7. This was great! Thanks for the laughs! I wonder how many calories I burn laughing at your posts? Thanks for kicking off Friday with The Killers!

  8. LOVE IT... you can Do IT!

  9. One of my favorite I'm going to be laughing every time I listen to'll forgive you this time ;D

  10. The killers are my favorite band...absolutely awesome!
    And man, I bet you rock that thong Jack.
    Way to live.

  11. Mr. Brightside ... that's You for sure!
    Pics of you in the thong, please.

  12. Pics of you in the thong ... running. THAT I gotta see.
    I will pay $$$. ☺

  13. Sometimes I think that your parodies are better than the real deal. Thanks for the "Perk me up" today.

  14. Never give up! That says it all! I won a giveaway with that statement. Asked what I would have put on the giveaway keychain & I said.. NEVER GIVE UP!

  15. Love this! Now I want a video of you singing it!

  16. I love it and think you are a genius!

  17. Hey you crazy nut..where on earth do you come up with this stuff? LOL I mean, do you have a day job?

    You really are a have a true gift!



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