Thursday, May 20, 2010

No Stopping Me Now on C25K

There is a picture that I’ve seen on the ol’ internet of this very uncomfortable looking runner dude who looks to be participating in a marathon. Why the pained expression on his mug? Because he seems to have had a big accident resulting in a nasty mess running down his legs.

I know, I know. Gross, gross, gross. But I thought about that snapshot the other day as I was in the middle of my 28-minute run (C25K Week 8 Day 1). When I saw that picture before, it never occurred to me that somebody that… erm… had to go… wouldn’t just stop what he was doing and go.

As I loped along, I felt an uncomfortable loosening feeling in my guts, then a rumbling deep inside and the mental image of that embarrassed marathoner burned a hole in my brain.

“Oh, crap!” I thought, and my body seemed to be trying to respond in kind.

I concentrated on the song that was blasting out of my iPod, stared off in the distance, trying to distract myself from my uncomfortableness. The halfway mark came and went, and suddenly it became of imperative importance that I finish this run. I’d invested too much time, too much sweat, too much effort. To quit now would be just too much…

As I passed the twenty minute mark, I knew that I was now in unchartered waters, running for longer than I’d ever run, thought about running or even wanted to run. Now I was really past the point of no return; there was simply no way I was shutting it down.

In a way, it was almost a blessing to have something else to worry about rather than if I could actually run for half an hour or if I was going to drop down dead somewhere in the middle of it. As the minutes and seconds ticked down, I realized that I was actually going to complete the run and not soil my undergarments. Two accomplishments for the price of one.

I’m sure I’ll come across that photo on the internet again someday, only this time I won’t snicker at my fellow runner’s predicament.

Because there but for the grace of God go (number two) I.


  1. Yay for not living up to your name!!!

    I have heard of those thing happening and it scares me. I got enough problems, ya know???

  2. Oh, I can so relate to this Jack. Luckily at one end of the 1/2 kilometer trail I run back and forth on there's a convenience store that I can stop in for some quick relief!
    Way to go on your 28 minutes! I did week 5 day 2 today and was pretty stoked at being able to jog 8 minutes straight...twice!
    Have a great day :)

  3. Glad you were able to complete your run

  4. Puts a whole new meaning on "potty training", doesn't it? Or having "the runs"? That's what you have, Jack, a case of the runs!

  5. Yay running... I recently figured out that I could run for 35 minutes straight and not throw up. I am slow, but I am movin'! Kudos to you! Do you track your miles anywhere? If not, you should check out I love it.


  6. I can't even begin to explain how much I relate to this post! The older I get, the harder it is to not stop in for a "break" on my longer outside Sunday run. In my younger days, I never needed to stop.... friggin age!

    CONGRATS to you!

  7. Aren't running adventures fun :-).

  8. My bootcamp instructor runs in marathons all over the USA, and she said that it's very common to see women and men squatting (er, or standing) at the side of the track or course to relieve themselves. I was like, "HOLY! WHAT!?" I have to imagine that's just for #1 and not for #2...yikes, but I don't know. Athletes do crazy things to improve their time...anything is possible, I guess!

  9. Way to go on getting those 28 minutes done. I did the 25 minutes yesterday - considering I was told I would never run because of my hips - I've bounced back and am very proud of myself.
    You should be too!
    Way to go Jack!

  10. Oh Marisa beat me to it! Darn it! Glad you were able to finish the run!

  11. A run without the runs gets my vote every time!

  12. Oh the good old Runners Runs.... When I first started running, I used to get that sensation all the time... it's not pleasant, but it will pass.

    As for the marathon dude - that's just BAD planning - always go before a race! (Mind you, I once didn't before a half marathon and I figure it was what made me get around because I was thinking about something other than the fact that I had so far to run!!!)

    Well done you! 28minutes is fantastic!

  13. Just wait till race day! The nerves get me every time! I decided the advice I read that drinking coffee makes you faster, didn't really apply for only made my digestion faster :)

  14. "No Stopping Me Up" more like it!

  15. I've been told that many runners are careful about what they eat before training for and running a race. Many avoid coffee or tea before running. Some eat foods from the BRAT diet like peanut butter and bananas.

  16. Well they don't call it "running" for nothing. Believe me, I have been in your shoes. Thank God for the random Starbucks and CVS along my route.

    This is pretty common, actually. I find if I make sure to eat something solid, usually protein, like an egg or a slice of ham, before I go, I can avoid this problem.

    Lol. I love your blog!

  17. A. Fantastic that you're up to 28 minutes running!
    B. While this was happening (or not happening, as it were) did it cross your mind that you would blog about it? :D
    C. Crisis averted ... so happy you didn't lose it.
    D. You wear *undergarments* ... another question answered.

  18. I'm not kidding you, a co-worker went for a run at lunchtime and came back with only ONE sock.

    He needed the other one to wipe.

    No sh* Sh*t.

    That story haunts me EVERY TIME my guts do a bit of a rumble while I'm running.

    TMI? Why, yes, probably.

    Anyway, I'm so glad that you said that it's not too late to send in my notecard. When I first read it, I was intimidated...but as I've seen your other readers sending stuff in, I've decided that I'm going to think of something short, sweet, and that may actually be a matra of sorts.

  19. You know I know how this goes (I almost had a C25K fail.) I am glad you got home safely (and cleanly.) :)


  20. And this is why I had to cut short a 4.5 mile run yesterday and eek out 3.1 instead. I had to walk the rest of the way due to some "discomfort" that running was doing little to abate.

    I was feeling bad at mile 2, but wasn't going to stop until another fun 5k was in the books.

    Way to push through Jack!

  21. It's called Runners Trots! I have had this happen to me so so SO many times I lost count years ago. It's not just for runnes, walkers get it too. By the good graces of sweet baby jessie, I've managed to make it to a bathroom every time but by god if I'm not sweating with anxiety and squeezing my cheeks together the whole way there. It's HORRIBLE! For the longest time I refused to walk outside for fear I'd shit my pants.

  22. Well, you might be ahead of me on finishing C25K, but I'm wayyyyy ahead of you in terms of writing about crapping or almost crapping your pants. So there.

  23. oh yeah, been there on a long walk with the dog. Trying to make it home and the friggin draw bridge goes up making me wait another 10 minutes. Home was only 2 minutes on the other side... I was never so hot, sweaty and queezy from walking the dog!!!

  24. This is the reason I know where every bathroom is on my running route - you only have to not make it once to be sure that doesn't happen again. The marathoner picture is my nightmare.

  25. I have never seen that picture and after the mental picture that this post summoned up...I really hope that I never do.


    For all of you who wanted to see the photo. It's literally the sh*ts. ;)

    Good job on the C25K too Jack!

  27. Hooray for finishing your 28 minutes! And LMAO @ the "there but for the grace of God go (number 2) I!" lol

  28. LOL this is totally common. Who said something about better planning? Yeah, right. Try spending 5 or so hours out there on the marathon course (okay 6 in my case), sucking down GU (pure sugar), torturing your body in every way possible, and afraid if you stop for a port-a-potty you will never get back up to finish.

    You can go all you want before the race, but that means nothing once you are out there for hours on end. So what to do?

    One word: Immodium! Never run more than a few miles without it!

    Now, if you want to hear something REALLY gross, maybe I can tell you about my half- marathon running with TOM, or my marathon training with a friend who got to run not only with TOM but a major stomach flu.

    Distance running is not for wimps. That is why you will be an awesome marathoner Jack! :)



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