Saturday, October 9, 2010

Mind Games

Mind Games

Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, which I call "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday because if I called it "The Best of Jack Sh*t", I'm pretty sure none of the posts would actually qualify. This piece actually has a pretty wise point but it's completely covered up in nonsense, much like a salad topped with hot fudge. Sorry, I'm fantasizing again...

I firmly believe that 90% of this weight-loss business is mental, and that if you can win the battle with your brain, your chances of success are a great deal higher.

With that in mind, here are some mental “games” you can play to help keep you dialed in and focused on the task at hand…

  • When you’re at the gym, pretend that one of the other people there is a murderer. Ask questions to the people around you and see if you can guess who it is (hint: the murderer likes the treadmill).
  • Try e-a-t-i-n-g in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n.
  • Whenever you’re in a restaurant, imagine disgruntled, low-paid employees are in the back spitting on your food (if it helps you, there probably really are disgruntled, low-paid employees in the back spitting on your food).
  • You = Godzilla. Baby carrots = screaming Asians.
  • Give yourself a point every time you don’t eat a corn chip.
  • You’ll get a better workout from a highly motivated personal trainer, so before your session, inform your PT that you just keyed up his or her car.
  • Think of yourself as a real-life Ms. Pac-Man; you should eat healthy food (like cherries) and go running every day (so ghosts don’t catch and kill you).
  • Every time you get an email, drink an 8 oz. glass of water.
  • Imagine that fresh ripe succulent fruit is something delicious instead.
  • Work out with your imaginary friend Sergio and his pet Chihuahua Miss Tizzy.
  • Run a mile every time you use a swear word.
  • It’s more exciting if you think of your salad as actually being in 3-D.


  1. I'm pretty sure that my personal trainer would just jump on top of me & beat the hell out of me... I better concentrate on the other suggestions.

  2. I totally believe the weight loss biz is mental....

    I always wanted to be Ms. Pac Man... I am off to find me some cherries... :)

  3. LOL too true. I hate eating slow, but since I don't get to eat that often I have to force myself to enjoy every bite. Love the pac-man analogy. Now all I can picture is a little round me :)

  4. Love the 3D salad! Thanks for a good laugh!

  5. Umm. A mile every time I swear. Yeah. That would be a lot of miles.

  6. I love the one about the murderer!

  7. Mental? Oh yeah ... I totally agree. 3D salad? Well now, that sounds interesting. LOL!

  8. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you... You know those days where you just need a smile... I got a laugh... at every bullet point... I may even have to try these... just to keep the laughter!
    XO M

  9. 3D salad--enough said! So hysterical! Also, I could totally do the Ms Pac Man!

  10. ME=Godzilla makes me very happy.

  11. Hi,

    You have an incredibly wonderful weblog. To grow to be a productive person the simple issue is to have positive thinking.



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