Friday, October 29, 2010

Ways Being Overweight Is Like Halloween

  • You ought to be more scared of it than you actually are

  • You keep a bunch of candy around the house “for the kids”

  • They don’t make the best clothes in your size

  • You detest folks that insist on offering you healthy treats

  • Sometimes you get creeped out when you catch your reflection in the mirror

  • Your children get a lot more exercise than you do

  • Feel as though you’re wearing a bulky costume

  • Can’t walk around the block without stopping at every house and asking for food

  • When you get dressed up, people think you look frightening

  • Insert your own “goblin” joke here
  • You often steal food from your children

  • You want to hide your face


  1. The only goblin hanging around resembles you gobblin all the food you just finished telling your children they shouldn't eat any more of because it's not healthy for them.

  2. My Kid very rarely got any of the candy he trick-or-treated for. By the time he got around to asking about it, I'd gone through and eaten the "best ones".

    Sooo glad we're not going to be around candy this year!

    Vee at

    ps. I have no mental acuity this morning so can't insert my own goblin joke! ha?

  3. LOL luv it Jack- oh and I wanted to say thanks for the LARGER print today! I did not need my glasses! :) hehe

  4. Funny list, Jack! During my "big girl" days, I used to keep extra bags of Halloween candy around for me to eat before the trick or treaters came around. And yes, most of my costumes at the time did involve covering me up as much as possible. :) Have fun this weekend NOT eating your kids' candy.

  5. Today I'm sportin some festive black & white striped tights. My favorite gay guy looks at me with the love of a free-hooker & says, "Admit it...when you put those on this morning, them fat rows of black and white were just pinstripes."

    And? I'm not telling where the body is buried.

  6. The first one says it all but I also like what the other one's say -- especially the eighth one...



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