Thursday, October 21, 2010

Uncle Sam Wants You… to Eat Some Cereal

I tend to be a “rut” eater, especially at breakfast and lunch. I don’t want to think about it, worry about it and work too hard at it. So I wind up eating the same thing over and over and over.

Then somebody offered to send me a sample box of Uncle Sam cereal. I told her to bring it on, even though I remember being freaked out by that creepy old man on the front of the box.

She assured me the box had no creepy old man on it, but I think the delivery guy shared my worries because he did a number on the box. 

As it turns out, I was thinking about King Vitamin. Man, that dude just makes me want to go check the sex offender records…


So… since I had no creepy old man issues, I decided it was okay to take Uncle Sam for a test drive.

My original idea was to do a compare-and-contrast/fight-to-the-death contest between Uncle Sam cereal and Count Chocula. How awesome would that be? Old man vs vampire; it’s the kind of bold thinking that could help this blog turn the corner and finally get the movie deal I’ve been seeking for so long.

However, I couldn’t find any Count Chocula at the store near my office. The best one I found was Honey Smacks with Dig'em the Frog, but frog versus non-vampire? Bleech!

So I’m just going to slog forward with a regular old review. Grab a pillow and be prepared to be bored out of your gourd…

Uncle Sam is low in saturated fat and sodium, and very low in cholesterol. It’s a good source of dietary fiber, niacin, Vitamin B6 and magnesium, and has loads of Vitamin C, thiamin, riboflavin, manganese and Celine Dion (or maybe it was selenium).
Each flake is made up of one whole grain of wheat, and it’s absolutely loaded with flaxseed. This crap is heartier than Grizzly Adams.




I read this on the box: “Individuals controlling caloric intake to promote weight loss or weight maintenance can benefit from including Uncle Sam cereal at breakfast, as a topping for yogurt or cottage cheese, or sprinkled on salads because it packs a high amount of nutrients for very few calories. Also, the high fiber, low sugar ratio, in combination with the omega-3 fatty acids, makes it very satisfying.”

Kinda wordy, Uncle Sam. If you weren’t so verbose, there’d be room on the back for a fun maze or something.

I piled my bowl up with cereal, then added milk, fresh blueberries, raspberries and strawberries and it made for a very filling and tasty lunch.

One note: you gotta shake, shake, shake the box or else the flaxseeds settle at the bottom. That’s okay, I like shaking stuff.



I’m really sorry I couldn’t make the Count Chocula vs. Uncle Sam thing work. I think it would have been spectacular.

Count Chocula: Curse you and your old man smell, Uncle Sam!
Uncle Sam: I’ve got the power of the United States of America coursing through my veins, you Transylvanian trashbag. Plus flaxseeds!



My rating: 1 million stars

Uncle Sam cereal is made by U.S. Mills and is available on the cereal aisle of stores that sell cereal.
 

Uncle Sh*t Giveaway: I'm thinking of a number between one and one hundred. First one to guess (in the comments) wins a free box of Uncle Sam cereal.




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84 comments:

  1. I love Uncle Sam cereal. It is a bit different to get used to the box though. :-)

    #7

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  2. 32!

    I get in breakfast ruts too. Mine is overnight oats. Every. Morning.

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  3. You had me laughing on this one...as always...


    76

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  4. King Vitamin verses the freakshow Burger King dude.......showdown of the century....right?

    86

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  5. Ooh, King Vitamin IS freaky!
    35.

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  6. Love the shake shake one. Does it give it shaken bkfst syndrome?

    26

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  7. I'm going to guess my favorite #....3

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  8. 62... "Celine Dion" hee. Love your blog.

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  9. 10. I'll have to check that out when I get back to the States.

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  10. I'm disappointed that the Count Chocula matchup didn't happen. That would have been epic.

    #11

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  11. 8...because you ate it. (Sorry...that was bad...)

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  12. Um, no one has said 69... that surprises and saddens me...

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  13. I guess

    82

    which I think is how many pounds you've lost also.

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  14. 22

    It's been years since I had Uncle Sam. I tended to think of the seeds as little bugs (OK, it's been a REALLY long time - try the 1970s).

    Wonder how it would taste in my extra-fiber Quaker Oats? They cut back on the oat content under the guise of 'bigger oats'.

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  15. I guess 32 because I'm commenter 32!

    Can't eat uncle sam cereal. I'm gluten-free. Bummer. Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

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  16. Oops, 32 was taken. 100? Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

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  17. 68

    Not sure I can part with my Kashi Go Lean but I haven't wanted to try this so I guess I should!

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  18. I've never heard of Uncle Sam cereal. Maybe I would have noticed it in the store if it had a creepy man on the box ...

    #97

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  19. That sounds good, I'll have to try it! My guess is 37 - which is not only my favorite number, but which I found out while researching comedy for my Masters exams that 37 is "an inherently funny number."

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  20. 48

    First number to pop in my head!

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  21. 4 million, 1 hundred and seventy five thousand, two hundred and sixty three.

    Point four.

    Was I close?

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  22. Celine Dion is in that cereal? Damn that girl works hard!

    21

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  23. 38!

    I LOVE cereal almost as much as your sense of humor!

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  24. Oh my God! How could I have forgotten my love of all things Grizzly Adams! Gah! I'll be on youtube for the next hour, thankyouverymuch.

    54

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  25. I'll guess #16...
    And I LOVE cereal for lunch! Or Dinner! :)

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  26. Great as always! My guess is Pi(e) 3.14159265

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  27. 3!!
    I love and use regularly the expression, "bored outta my gourd"! AND..."transylvanian trashbag"--classic!

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  28. I don't want any cereal, but just so you know, those flaxseeds go right through undigested because they aren't ground! Unless you do a heck of a grinding job with your teeth :)

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  29. eleven - I hope they hear ya about the fun maze thing.

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  30. Don't you mean spooktacular? :-0

    77

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  31. I was going with 27 because that's how old I am. But then I remembered I'm 28 now. LOL

    28 is taken however, so I'm sticking with

    27!!!

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  32. Never heard of the shit, but hey, I'll try just about anything, once. :D

    51

    Since Greta took my number. Darn her eyes. lol

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  33. Only you could make a product review so darn entertaining! I absolutely love it xx

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  34. 44...and I love me some grizzly adams. It was once one of my favorite shows. Of course, if I were accused of a murder I didn't commit the first thing I would do is flee to the mountains, get a bear and indain friend and live off the fat o the land.

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  35. 73! Do you ship to England? :)

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  36. 3.14159265

    Pie!!!

    I might even try that uncle sam cereal!

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  37. 53 - how old I will be next month! I keep hearing great stuff about this cereal!

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  38. 12! I've actually been wondering how this cereal is!

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  39. 4

    I used to eat Uncle Sam Cereal ALL THE TIME when I was a kid. Now I want to go get another box of it right now, that is, unless I can win one from you. LOL

    No, seriously. Really good stuff. And I remember King Vitamin too! That stuff was awesome!!

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  40. 229- I'll pass on the Uncle Sam.

    I much prefer my fake Lucky Charms that I get from Target. The marshmallows look like little penises. Way cooler than Uncle Sam IMO.

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  41. I go with 230, because in The Price is Right, you always go one over.

    Also, did Candice really say she liked fake Lucky Charms? Like the ones in the mega bags? Really?

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  42. Just found your blog and it rocks! 43. Send my some cereal!

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  43. I meant send ME some cereal. #Fail

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  44. Nothing can compare to Captain Crunch. I mean, I attribute at least half my body weight to him.

    O.K.- I liked some of the guesses---- particularly 3.14. How about 10? I don't think anyone guessed that.

    My wife eats this. Not me. I am much more of a Grape Nuts fan/man.

    Thanks Jack!

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  45. How about Fiddy-five (55) as they say here in the South...

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  46. 17

    I'm just stuck on the part about putting it on top of salads... What?! I'm all for interesting ways to eat healthy food, but cereal on top of salad?? What?!

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  47. 1.4
    I LOVE this cereal and yet, for all my love, I shall forever remember it at the cereal my BLACK LAB stole (entire box. I was just home from grocery), dragged to his "house" and consumed the entire thing.

    to
    no
    ill
    effects.

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  48. King Vitaman!! With the spoons in the crown! Oh, what a blast from the past; that was our childhood breakfast cereal. If I remember, it was the poor man's version of Cap'n Crunch but allegedly "healthier".

    Oh, and 13.

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  49. Man that was a lot of work Jack, there were definitely a few double guesses lol. I'm trying to think like you would think hmmmmmm well that's not happening so I'll just guess 92 because I'm psychic, no not really, just seemed like the loneliest area on my counting paper lol.

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  50. You can go online to Uncle Sam and print a coupon for a buck off 2 boxes - I did and went & got them @Kroger - will try in the AM -I know they are healthy but I hate the dreaded 3/4 serving size for a whopping 190 cals. I do love all the good stuff they have in them though....

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  51. A number between 1 and 100?
    um... purple?

    We need to see a comeback of Jack's cooking. Only next time, shake all your ingredients.

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  52. 70, and where in the heck do you find that stuff anyways? I have *never* seen it at a grocery store.

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  53. "As it turns out, I was thinking about King Vitamin. Man, that dude just makes me want to go check the sex offender records"

    Thanks for the little bit of pee that came out during that laugh... :)

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  54. OK Great! The stuff STILL tastes like sawdust. It isn't made in Omaha anymore and I'd rather eat Cherrios. And at one time, it did have an old on the front. They changed the packaging. The stuff is like eating dried soybeans! I know, I'm from Nebraska where they grow this stuff.

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  55. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  56. I sent you a picture of the old man on the old Uncle Sam Cereal box from when it was made in Omaha, Nebraska to your facebook page. Good for you. A Natural Laxative! Bland as all get out!

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