I tend to be a “rut” eater, especially at breakfast and lunch. I don’t want to think about it, worry about it and work too hard at it. So I wind up eating the same thing over and over and over.
Then somebody offered to send me a sample box of Uncle Sam cereal. I told her to bring it on, even though I remember being freaked out by that creepy old man on the front of the box.
She assured me the box had no creepy old man on it, but I think the delivery guy shared my worries because he did a number on the box.
As it turns out, I was thinking about King Vitamin. Man, that dude just makes me want to go check the sex offender records…
So… since I had no creepy old man issues, I decided it was okay to take Uncle Sam for a test drive.
My original idea was to do a compare-and-contrast/fight-to-the-death contest between Uncle Sam cereal and Count Chocula. How awesome would that be? Old man vs vampire; it’s the kind of bold thinking that could help this blog turn the corner and finally get the movie deal I’ve been seeking for so long.
However, I couldn’t find any Count Chocula at the store near my office. The best one I found was Honey Smacks with Dig'em the Frog, but frog versus non-vampire? Bleech!
So I’m just going to slog forward with a regular old review. Grab a pillow and be prepared to be bored out of your gourd…
Uncle Sam is low in saturated fat and sodium, and very low in cholesterol. It’s a good source of dietary fiber, niacin, Vitamin B6 and magnesium, and has loads of Vitamin C, thiamin, riboflavin, manganese and Celine Dion (or maybe it was selenium).
Each flake is made up of one whole grain of wheat, and it’s absolutely loaded with flaxseed. This crap is heartier than Grizzly Adams.
I read this on the box: “Individuals controlling caloric intake to promote weight loss or weight maintenance can benefit from including Uncle Sam cereal at breakfast, as a topping for yogurt or cottage cheese, or sprinkled on salads because it packs a high amount of nutrients for very few calories. Also, the high fiber, low sugar ratio, in combination with the omega-3 fatty acids, makes it very satisfying.”
Kinda wordy, Uncle Sam. If you weren’t so verbose, there’d be room on the back for a fun maze or something.
I piled my bowl up with cereal, then added milk, fresh blueberries, raspberries and strawberries and it made for a very filling and tasty lunch.
One note: you gotta shake, shake, shake the box or else the flaxseeds settle at the bottom. That’s okay, I like shaking stuff.
I’m really sorry I couldn’t make the Count Chocula vs. Uncle Sam thing work. I think it would have been spectacular.
Count Chocula: Curse you and your old man smell, Uncle Sam!
Uncle Sam: I’ve got the power of the United States of America coursing through my veins, you Transylvanian trashbag. Plus flaxseeds!
My rating: 1 million stars
Uncle Sam cereal is made by U.S. Mills and is available on the cereal aisle of stores that sell cereal.
Uncle Sh*t Giveaway: I'm thinking of a number between one and one hundred. First one to guess (in the comments) wins a free box of Uncle Sam cereal.